Archive of ‘how to wear’ category

How To Wear A Jumpsuit

How-To-Wear-A-Jumpsuit

How To Wear A Jumpsuit“…is never a phrase I thought I’d seriously be typing out for you, but, well, I can be wrong sometimes, and here we are.

Over at Haute Macabre right now you will find several suggestions for wearing this head-to-toe one piece wonder, and some totally realistic situations for which they may be appropriate!
This ensemble in particular I can vouch for; the jumpsuit is from Aakasha, the kimono is very inexpensive on amazon, and I own a bag very similar to this one from Baba Studio.

How To Wear Walpurgisnacht

walpyWalpurgisnacht agenda: fly east from the dying sun over spring fields to conduct unholy business under the deepest shroud of darkness. Rule the night skies with an unruly entourage of familiars, demons, and unbaptized children. Gather at Brocken’s peak for nameless rites and deeds, review and/or renew a pact with The Devil, flood surrounding forests with wild magicks, terrorize ignorant villagers. Check, check, check.

…hold up. Drop that sacrificial baby. What’s this? Are we dancing naked around this goddamn bonfire? Are we frolicking frockless? What the actual fuck, Satan? Were we not promised we’d live deliciously? Did you not specifically spell out that we were to have new dresses?

Listen, witches. Walpurgisnacht is an important event on your calendar and it just won’t do to go starkers, no matter what those antiquated copper etchings and Faustian carte-de-visites reveal. Don’t wait for Lucifer to deliver on that dress promise; dude is the prince of lies, you know that. A witch worth their salt has got to make this shit happen for themselves–I mean, what’s witchcraft for, if not extravagant sartorial gain?

Mirror the cloak of night in your evening’s ensemble, festoon yourself in potent symbolism, swath your bod in shadowy silhouettes. Accessorize with winged creatures and woodland-inspired jewels. Leave an infernal fragrance, redolent of spices, herbs, and venom in your wake. Incorporate the sabbat’s myriad magical motifs, as seen below, into your ensemble and next year you’ll be sure to bring the hexennacht hotness to your wicked Walpurgis revelries.

 

walpurgis1

Ann Demeulemeester Short Dress $235 // Mise en Cage Ionesco High-Waist Harness Brief $148 // Mise en Cage Aldridge Soft Bra $112 // Sergio Rossi Elastic corset suede thigh high boots $1145 // Zana Bayne SS15 Mini Signature Bag $575 // FabMeJewelry 3D Printed tiara $50 // Burial Ground Pentacle pendant from $45 // Kathula blackened ring by BlueBayerDesignNYC $100 // Burial Ground Seer ring $165 // Kat Von D Everlasting Liquid Lipstick in Witches $20 // UNUM Symphonie Passion perfume Extrait de Parfum $220

walpurgis3

Elie Saab Lace-paneled silk-blend georgette gown $3450 // Damaris Da Vinci High Waist Knicker $100 // Damaris Da Vinci Triangle Bra $140 // Fluevog Pilgrim $299 // Derercuny chain clutch $890 // Elaine Ho Brutalist pendant $90 // Ann Demeulemeester 5 Signet ring set $730 // Dolce & Gabbana Satin-twill and lace veil $966 // Urban Decay Moondust eyeshadow $21 // Serge Lutens La Religieuse $150 // HVNTER GVATHERER Sybil necklace $250 //  HVNTER GVATHERER X Lycanthea cuff (limited) // Rituel de Fille Forbidden Lipstick in Shadow Self $23

BONUS ENSEMBLE (sorry for the lack of details, blame polyvore*)

walpurgis2(This content was originally published at Dirge in 2016. The site no longer exists.)

 

So long, Polyvore, or: How To Wear Heartbreak & Disgust

[PRETEND LIKE THERE’S AN IMAGE HERE]

Oh yeah, I can’t actually create the titular outfit of this post, because the website that I used for over a decade to create these ensembles shut down with no warning, and either purged all of the accounts or sold them off to a site which either purged them or is mining them for user data.

The website I am referring to is the former Polyvore, a fashion moodboard/collage making space on which I have spent some portion of literally every day for the past 3,650 days.  Its mission was to “democratize style and provide its community with a new way to discover and shop fashion, beauty and home.” The platform allowed fashion lovers to “play” designer by creating collages, or virtual mood boards, of their favorite products from retailers like Net-a-Porter, Asos, Farfetch or even amazon or eBay, as well as independent designers or Etsy sellers. (Etsy wasn’t always easy to work with on polyvore, an issue which actually led to the creation of my tumblr in 2009, but that’s a different story. Just watch, tumblr will up and close with no warning next.)

I found out about Polyvore in 2008 or so, and it sparked an immediate obsession. I loved the idea of creating outfits for all sorts of make-believe occasions, the more outrageous and nonsensical, the better. My creations on Polyvore eventually gave rise to my How To Wear collections that I have been featuring both here at Unquiet Things and, more recently, over at Haute Macabre. I loved the functionality of the Polyvore platform, how you had a “closet” where you could store all of the clothing, accessories, accoutrements that you either “liked” from other users on Polyvore, or “clipped” from various places on the internet–I always found this latter feature extraordinarily helpful when searching for unusual things like mourning jewelry or taxidermy hats or what have you; these were items that, while you and I might not actually think they’re all that unusual, you certainly couldn’t find a lot of them already on Polyvore! So with the “clipper” function you didn’t have to rely on what was already on the site–you could add it into your virtual closet from almost any website that existed. My Polyvore closet, which I have been filling for over ten years now, contained thousands and thousands of items. And sometimes I went beyond just playing around with them for pretend wardrobe purposes–I actually purchased them!

Polyvore was a grand escape for me for a very long time, especially while I was living in New Jersey, lonely and terribly unhappy. I made some lovely friends through Polyvore; in browsing the creations that other users made, you’d often find that people had similar tastes to you, and you’d strike up conversation and realize that in addition to a love of Alexander McQueen, they were hilarious and brilliant, insightful and kind. Many of these users became friends. Many of them I still speak with today! Or, rather, I did, until Polyvore sold the site and locked all of the users out of their accounts. Polyvore was a safe space for me. A community of kindred spirits. And a creative outlet for someone like me, as well as many others, I am sure–someone with creative instincts but who didn’t quite know how to harness them or what to do with them. I am not an artist. But my creations on polyvore felt, a little to me, like art. And I derived profound satisfaction from that feeling. (Also–ladywimsey, kitten, alibee, sadiesue–if you ever read this, leave a comment, or drop me a line– I don’t have any of your contact information!)

Apparently there was some warning as to the situation. The Polyvore team posted about it sometime on Thursday, April 5th, 2018. I had not seen that, though I had used the site at some point that day. On early Friday morning I was still able to access my account, but early Friday afternoon it was utterly gone. When I typed polyvore into the address bar and it redirected to ssense I was at first confused, and then when the redirect persisted, a little panicky. I did a quick google search and was utterly shocked to read, in a slew of articles, that Polyvore had been acquired by ssense. And ssense is really just an online retailer of avant-garde (read: fug) fashion. They are just a shop. Not any sort of polyvore-esque functionality, not even the slightest bit. Which is ridiculous because as far as I know, most of the hundreds of thousands of polyvore users used Polyvore because they CAN’T AFFORD the sorts of things that sites like ssense sells. So they acquire the polyvore platform and all of its user’s information and then they immediately shut the whole thing down. Which is a dick move that makes absolutely no sense to me, but you know, it’s not even ssense I am angry with. It’s Polyvore.

Polyvores users loved that community. Many of them, just like me, had been using it for a very, very long time. I am not saying that the creators of Polyvore owed us anything, but I can’t help but to feel so very hurt and betrayed. If they wanted to sell their creation and make some money, that’s great, I can’t fault them for that, but…couldn’t they have sent out an email a week or so ahead of time? Give people time to back up their creations, find (or create!) alternate options to the platform? It was just so shocking and sudden, and I know to some folks this must seem like a piddly think to be upset by, but I am upset. As angry as I am, there’s now I polyvore-shaped hole in my heart that I am not quite sure that anything else can fill–there was honestly nothing else like it. So laugh if you will (but please don’t, I am feeling really sensitive) but I’m bereft. I’m going through a bit of a mourning period.

If you were a polyvore user, they have given you the option to download your data; I have done this already. I received my link in 24 hours, and it is ….not very helpful. Your data consists of a zip folder with several folders and spreadsheets. The spreadsheets link to urls which no longer exist. The image folder contains low-res, untitled images. It seems they are chronological, earliest creations to most recent. Nowhere are there links to the items used, so if you are someone like me, for example, who puts together How To Wear sets on a blog, you can’t link to the designer or the website where the items can be purchased. If you repost to instagram, you can’t tag the designer. Wow. Thanks, polyvore.

This sounds like a bunch of whining about some seriously superficial stuff, but I’m not going to apologize! But instead of continuing in this vein, I will instead share the last two sets I ever created on polyvore. You’re out of luck if you’re curious as to where any of this stuff came from, though. Sorry guys. This isn’t the end of my How To Wears, though! I’ll find a solution. Stay tuned.

How to Wear Seance Perfumesseance blog

How To Wear A Blog Post About Making Bread

ravenous blog

 

How To Wear The Vernal Equinox

HWT-the-vernal-equinox

I have written before–and with much brighter colors–on How To Wear The Vernal Equinox, but I gloomed it up a little for Haute Macabre today, for those of us who derive our powers from mass quantities of black.

My How To Wear sets are mostly wishlist type yearnings–often people say to me, “wow, everything is so expensive! I wish you’d do a budget friendly one!” Well, tough titties, folks. I don’t spend my time wishing away for budget friendly items! Make your own thrift store friendly lists or whatever–that’s not my thing. I like dreaming about posh, luxury items!

HOWEVER, I have included one set (above) that is full of things* I already own, or wear, or are very similar to things I own, or wear. And since I can’t afford those 5K frocks, this is the one concession I will make. So there!

Haute Macabre: How To Wear The Vernal Equinox

*though all of the things in the above image are listed over at Haute Macabre today, I will tell you the moth necklace from Flannery Grace Good, the bag from Baba Studio, and the scarf from scarf shop are my very favorites!

How To Wear Hushed Embroidery

How to wear Fevernest

I am thrilled to announce that my fancy wardrobe collages have found a seconds home over at Haute Macabre, where “How To Wear {insert some ridiculous thing here}” will become a recurring series!

This week we have How To Wear An Article About Hushed And Haunted Embroidery That You Wrote Three Weeks Ago…head on over to Haute Macabre for the details!

Previous ensembles at Unquiet Things can be found here.

How To Wear The Night Sky

Goat Mountain in Big Bend National Park // Photo by Matt Smith

Goat Mountain in Big Bend National Park // Photo by Matt Smith

I’m taking the liberty of declaring 2018 the year that we celebrate that we are, indeed, made of starstuff! And as celestial & extraterrestrial beings, why not dress in all the sublime, scintillating colors and textures and spangles of the cosmos– as glittering hosts of heaven, resplendent in our divinity!

And if all of this is too much for you too swallow, please note that I have a miserable head cold and my noggin is aching so much, that I am literally seeing stars. You have to take inspiration where you can find it, you know?

At any rate! Below you will find several ensembles inspired by the stars, the planets, the interstellar wonderland of our luminous night sky …and sometimes this inspiration takes strange forms, such as outfit ideas influenced by avant-garde photography, man-made star projectors, and bioluminescent tides! As always, click on the image to find the details for the apparel and accessories for each collection.

How To Wear The Night Sky, Look 1

night sky

How To Wear The Night Sky, Look 2

htwth1

How To Wear The Night Sky, Look 3

htwth2

How To Wear The Night Sky, Look 4

htwth3

How To Wear The Night Sky, Look 5

htwth4

How To Wear The Night Sky, Look 6

htwth5

How To Wear The Night Sky, Look 7

htwth6

How To Wear The Night Sky, Look 8

htwth7

How To Wear The Night Sky, Look 9

htwth8

How To Wear The Night Sky, Look 10

htwth9

How to Wear a Date with Krampus

How-to-wear-a-date-with-Krampus-header

I have a theory. Just hear me out here, okay?

Krampus, after a long day of chaining and beating children and whisking them away to his fiery lair, just wants to wrap up his business, clock out, and spend time with his sweetie.

Krampus doesn’t like to bring his work home with him. All that violence and fear? That’s an act for the children. In truth, he’s a gentle lover. Dancing? He’s up for it. Netflix and chill? Baby, you know he’s down for that, too. You’re Krampus’ main squeeze after all, and he really just wants to make you happy.

When you gaze lovingly at your bae’s wicked horns and cloven hooves, run your fingers over his cold, iron chains, and stroke his furry pelt, you don’t find his monstrous appearance repellent in the slightest. In fact, you realize that your sweetie–that magnificent beast in the other room mixing you a cocktail–is terrific outfit inspiration!

See below for three Krampus-inspired ensembles full of furred bags, split-toe shoes, claws, chains, switches, and demonic visages, perfect for dancing the night away, terrorizing the neighborhood, or an evening of sexy-times shenanigans with your own unholy Yule Lord.

Krampus2

Zimmerman Empire Sueded Dress $750 // La Perla Lace Briefs $75 // Gold Leather T-Straps $74.99 // Alexander McQueen Fur Clutch $2400 // Kenneth Jay Lane Gold Link Necklace $365 // Julie Aylward Venice Ring $250 // Tessa Metcalfe Claw Ring $760 // Saint Laurent Lace Scarf $375 // Tom Ford Black Orchid $75-$165 // Ciaté London X Olivia Palermo Nail Collection $24

Krampus3

Samuji Black Tsula Sweater $330 // Paige “Edgemont” skinny jeans $249 // Blush Smolder Retro Brief $38 // Stella McCartney “Falabella” faux fur shoulder bag $1,260 // KD2024 Claw Onyx and Silver Double Ring $891 // Formula X KVD Nail Polish $13 // Arthemis Stretch Bodice $850 // Maison Martin Margiela Split Toe Wooden Tabi Boot, $990 // Talon Earrings by MillarJewellery $116.17 // Blackbird The Wendol perfume $88 // Burialground Broomstick necklace $80

Krampus4

Bouchra Jarrar Front Zip Dress $1,160 // Else Petunia Fitted Slip w/ Removable Suspenders $175 // Chelsea Paris “Adile” caged cutout leather ankle boots $645 // Versace Leather shoulder bag $1,150 // Unearthen Mini Spectra Ring $230 // Alexander McQueen Harness Skull Ring $415 // Pamela Love Silver Talon Cuff $1,250 // Silver Spoon Attire Velvet Over-Sized Bow Headband $300 // LUSH Lust perfume $16-$40 // MAC eyeshadow $16 “Dark Desires”

(This article was originally posted at Dirge; the site is no longer active.)

How To Wear A Bookstack

bookstack

Well, I don’t know about you, but when I have a Saturday afternoon all to myself and a pile of books crying for my undivided attention, I go all out. It’s true. I will slip into my most splendid finery, don my sparkliest baubles, paint my face, spritz myself with the most expensive fragrances on my shelf (sometimes maybe three or four at once!) and then…plop down on the sofa and begin reading long into the night.

Is that weird? I don’t know. I often get all dressed up to spend the day alone, and there’s no finer reason to do so than in the name of devouring a much anticipated stack of books. Here’s a suggested ensemble for the next time you have the marvelous opportunity to get all gussied up for your bookstack. (With some required reading, of course!)

bookstack list

1. Louisianna Purchase tee $35 // 2. Black pleated skirt $38 // 3. Paige cropped velvet jacket $400 // 4. Altuzarra ankle boots $1310 // 5. Gerbe Paris By Night tights $55 // 6. Hopeless Into The Night collection $65-$170 // 7. Maison Michel Lace Bow Rabbit Ears $519 // 8. Well Read Woman pouch $10 // 9. Swankmetalsmithing evil eye ring $625+ // 10. Goldengrove Dust To Dust ring $150 // 11. Bloodmilk Belonging To The Darkness ring (discontinued) // 12. Tiger’s Eye bracelet $200 // 13. Pamela Love rosary $225 // 14. Bloodmilk mourning strand $250 // 15. Goldengrove onyx skull ring $545 // 16. Smith & Cult Shattered Souls nail lacquer $18 // 17. Rituel de Fille Frenzy inner glow pigment $29 // 18. Jardins d’Ecrivains Wilde Eau de Parfum $110

The Books…
Paperbacks From Hell: The Twisted History of ’70s and ’80s Horror Fiction by Grady Hendrix
The Grip of It by Jac Jemc
Mapping The Interior by Stephen Graham Jones

Looking for more suggestions? See below and click on the images for details!

books1

books2

Books 3

books 4

How To Wear A Dramatic Cathedral

Cosmo China Styled By Beagy Zielinski

Cosmo China Styled By Beagy Zielinski

When I peek at instagram and see intrepid travelers posting their moody cathedral photos which capture the magnificent drama of an old city’s elaborate Gothic architecture–pointed archways, vaulted ceilings, flying buttress, and gargoyles, of course!–I become inspired by these places of piety and worship, whose towering spires and arches literally reach up into the heavens. Of course, I’m not particularly overcome with any sort of holy reverie or overwhelming divinity, heavens no. But rather by the grace and grandeur of the designs and structures themselves, and perhaps the heritage, culture, and community life of the areas they serve.

What form does this inspiration take? Well, I’m not sure that God or the pope would approve, but peek below for four examples of how one might wear the drama of these majestic edifices, and as always, click on the image for a detailed listing of the items used in each ensemble.

Cathedral 2

Cathedral 1

Cathedral 3

Cathedral 4

1 2 3