Archive of ‘how to wear’ category

How To Wear The Night Sky

Goat Mountain in Big Bend National Park // Photo by Matt Smith

Goat Mountain in Big Bend National Park // Photo by Matt Smith

I’m taking the liberty of declaring 2018 the year that we celebrate that we are, indeed, made of starstuff! And as celestial & extraterrestrial beings, why not dress in all the sublime, scintillating colors and textures and spangles of the cosmos– as glittering hosts of heaven, resplendent in our divinity!

And if all of this is too much for you too swallow, please note that I have a miserable head cold and my noggin is aching so much, that I am literally seeing stars. You have to take inspiration where you can find it, you know?

At any rate! Below you will find several ensembles inspired by the stars, the planets, the interstellar wonderland of our luminous night sky …and sometimes this inspiration takes strange forms, such as outfit ideas influenced by avant-garde photography, man-made star projectors, and bioluminescent tides! As always, click on the image to find the details for the apparel and accessories for each collection.

How To Wear The Night Sky, Look 1

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How To Wear The Night Sky, Look 2

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How To Wear The Night Sky, Look 3

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How To Wear The Night Sky, Look 4

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How To Wear The Night Sky, Look 5

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How To Wear The Night Sky, Look 6

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How To Wear The Night Sky, Look 7

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How To Wear The Night Sky, Look 8

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How To Wear The Night Sky, Look 9

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How To Wear The Night Sky, Look 10

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How to Wear a Date with Krampus

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I have a theory. Just hear me out here, okay?

Krampus, after a long day of chaining and beating children and whisking them away to his fiery lair, just wants to wrap up his business, clock out, and spend time with his sweetie.

Krampus doesn’t like to bring his work home with him. All that violence and fear? That’s an act for the children. In truth, he’s a gentle lover. Dancing? He’s up for it. Netflix and chill? Baby, you know he’s down for that, too. You’re Krampus’ main squeeze after all, and he really just wants to make you happy.

When you gaze lovingly at your bae’s wicked horns and cloven hooves, run your fingers over his cold, iron chains, and stroke his furry pelt, you don’t find his monstrous appearance repellent in the slightest. In fact, you realize that your sweetie–that magnificent beast in the other room mixing you a cocktail–is terrific outfit inspiration!

See below for three Krampus-inspired ensembles full of furred bags, split-toe shoes, claws, chains, switches, and demonic visages, perfect for dancing the night away, terrorizing the neighborhood, or an evening of sexy-times shenanigans with your own unholy Yule Lord.

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Zimmerman Empire Sueded Dress $750 // La Perla Lace Briefs $75 // Gold Leather T-Straps $74.99 // Alexander McQueen Fur Clutch $2400 // Kenneth Jay Lane Gold Link Necklace $365 // Julie Aylward Venice Ring $250 // Tessa Metcalfe Claw Ring $760 // Saint Laurent Lace Scarf $375 // Tom Ford Black Orchid $75-$165 // Ciaté London X Olivia Palermo Nail Collection $24

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Samuji Black Tsula Sweater $330 // Paige “Edgemont” skinny jeans $249 // Blush Smolder Retro Brief $38 // Stella McCartney “Falabella” faux fur shoulder bag $1,260 // KD2024 Claw Onyx and Silver Double Ring $891 // Formula X KVD Nail Polish $13 // Arthemis Stretch Bodice $850 // Maison Martin Margiela Split Toe Wooden Tabi Boot, $990 // Talon Earrings by MillarJewellery $116.17 // Blackbird The Wendol perfume $88 // Burialground Broomstick necklace $80

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Bouchra Jarrar Front Zip Dress $1,160 // Else Petunia Fitted Slip w/ Removable Suspenders $175 // Chelsea Paris “Adile” caged cutout leather ankle boots $645 // Versace Leather shoulder bag $1,150 // Unearthen Mini Spectra Ring $230 // Alexander McQueen Harness Skull Ring $415 // Pamela Love Silver Talon Cuff $1,250 // Silver Spoon Attire Velvet Over-Sized Bow Headband $300 // LUSH Lust perfume $16-$40 // MAC eyeshadow $16 “Dark Desires”

(This article was originally posted at Dirge; the site is no longer active.)

How To Wear A Bookstack

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Well, I don’t know about you, but when I have a Saturday afternoon all to myself and a pile of books crying for my undivided attention, I go all out. It’s true. I will slip into my most splendid finery, don my sparkliest baubles, paint my face, spritz myself with the most expensive fragrances on my shelf (sometimes maybe three or four at once!) and then…plop down on the sofa and begin reading long into the night.

Is that weird? I don’t know. I often get all dressed up to spend the day alone, and there’s no finer reason to do so than in the name of devouring a much anticipated stack of books. Here’s a suggested ensemble for the next time you have the marvelous opportunity to get all gussied up for your bookstack. (With some required reading, of course!)

bookstack list

1. Louisianna Purchase tee $35 // 2. Black pleated skirt $38 // 3. Paige cropped velvet jacket $400 // 4. Altuzarra ankle boots $1310 // 5. Gerbe Paris By Night tights $55 // 6. Hopeless Into The Night collection $65-$170 // 7. Maison Michel Lace Bow Rabbit Ears $519 // 8. Well Read Woman pouch $10 // 9. Swankmetalsmithing evil eye ring $625+ // 10. Goldengrove Dust To Dust ring $150 // 11. Bloodmilk Belonging To The Darkness ring (discontinued) // 12. Tiger’s Eye bracelet $200 // 13. Pamela Love rosary $225 // 14. Bloodmilk mourning strand $250 // 15. Goldengrove onyx skull ring $545 // 16. Smith & Cult Shattered Souls nail lacquer $18 // 17. Rituel de Fille Frenzy inner glow pigment $29 // 18. Jardins d’Ecrivains Wilde Eau de Parfum $110

The Books…
Paperbacks From Hell: The Twisted History of ’70s and ’80s Horror Fiction by Grady Hendrix
The Grip of It by Jac Jemc
Mapping The Interior by Stephen Graham Jones

Looking for more suggestions? See below and click on the images for details!

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How To Wear A Dramatic Cathedral

Cosmo China Styled By Beagy Zielinski

Cosmo China Styled By Beagy Zielinski

When I peek at instagram and see intrepid travelers posting their moody cathedral photos which capture the magnificent drama of an old city’s elaborate Gothic architecture–pointed archways, vaulted ceilings, flying buttress, and gargoyles, of course!–I become inspired by these places of piety and worship, whose towering spires and arches literally reach up into the heavens. Of course, I’m not particularly overcome with any sort of holy reverie or overwhelming divinity, heavens no. But rather by the grace and grandeur of the designs and structures themselves, and perhaps the heritage, culture, and community life of the areas they serve.

What form does this inspiration take? Well, I’m not sure that God or the pope would approve, but peek below for four examples of how one might wear the drama of these majestic edifices, and as always, click on the image for a detailed listing of the items used in each ensemble.

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How to wear the paranormal activity that lurks in your drain

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I don’t know about you, but every time my hair clogs up a household drain, I blame it on the vague presence of “paranormal activity”.  Curious as to how one might ooze the dark, casual style of a haute, haunted hairball? No? I don’t believe you! See below for an summary of the items used in the ensemble above, and as always, click on the images to see more details about where to buy.

Featured image: Coming For You by Feebrile

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How To Wear The Summer Solstice

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Submitted for your perusal with a minimum of fuss or commentary; I mean we should all be out enjoying the longest day of the year anyway, right? Not blogging or internet shopping!* Go for a sunrise hike, or float in your inflatable swan in the community pool, or have a lovely picnic in the shade (be sure to pack the world’s most amazing tomato salad!) In the interim, click here, or on the image above for item details!

Okay, I’m a hypocrite. You know I won’t set foot outside while the sun still blazes in the sky! Feel free to tell me all about your solstice adventures, though! I’ll be with you in spirit!

Wanna see some more ridiculous ensembles? Go nuts!

👁‍🗨 How To Wear: A Box Of Crayons
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: Arsenical Wallpapers
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: Your Favorite Books & Stories
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: A Winter Getaway
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: Your Favorite Horror Film
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: The Arts
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: The Spring Equinox
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: The Winter Solstice
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: The Autumn Equinox
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: A Jean Rollin Film
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: A Gothic Romance Novel
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: Your Favorite Tarot Deck
👁‍🗨 What To Wear Upon Greeting Death
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: A Melancholic Holiday
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: A Date With A Monster
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: Dramatic Jewelry
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: A Tee Shirt

How To Wear: A Box Of Crayons

Kaleidoscope Color editorial shot for Interview Magazine by Greogory Harris, 2011

Kaleidoscope Color editorial shot for Interview Magazine by Gregory Harris, 2011

It’s well and truly summer. Sigh. I guess that means hemlines rise and colors lighten up. SIGH. You know I have a very difficult time with these concepts.

But sometimes it’s good to go with the flow, right? Experiment a little? Maybe don’t go too crazy (as the title of this post suggests), but perhaps…just one crayon at a time? I think we can do this.

Find a slip of a dress that whispers the soft pink of the dawn before the day’s heat begins to blaze; a sheer tank top that reflects the cool, clear blue of a secret swimming spot, a weirdly patterned frock in the bold shades of children’s pool floaties or another echoing the hues of a deep red rose, a tee shirt screaming the lurid orange of the sun’s dying rays on a late July afternoon, or a dress the vibrant green of grass clippings that stick to your feet when you walk outside barefoot to get the mail, after the lawn man has cut two weeks worth of growth…

Below you will find a few suggestions in this vein; as always click each image for more information on the items used and where to purchase.

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Previous ridiculous installments of How To Wear:
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: Arsenical Wallpapers
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: Your Favorite Books & Stories
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: A Winter Getaway
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: Your Favorite Horror Film
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: The Arts
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: The Spring Equinox
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: The Winter Solstice
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: The Autumn Equinox
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: A Jean Rollin Film
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: A Gothic Romance Novel
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: Your Favorite Tarot Deck
👁‍🗨 What To Wear Upon Greeting Death
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: A Melancholic Holiday
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: A Date With A Monster
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: Dramatic Jewelry
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: A Tee Shirt

How To Wear: Arsenical Wallpapers

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A month ago I wrote of the dangers of arsenical fabrics in Victorian homes and fashions, but I neglected to detail how a contemporary quaintrelle might incorporate the look of this luxuriously poisonous pigment into one’s wardrobe. Inspired by the elegant floral motifs and arabesque patterns of William Morris’ toxic wallpaper designs, I have assembled an assortment of ensembles for which to conjure couture fatale feels.

As always, click on the image to be whisked away to a detailed listing of the items used, and where to find them.

Look 1.

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More from the ridiculous How To Wear Series, below:

👁‍🗨 How To Wear: Your Favorite Books & Stories
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: A Winter Getaway
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: Your Favorite Horror Film
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: The Arts
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: The Spring Equinox
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: The Winter Solstice
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: The Autumn Equinox
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: A Jean Rollin Film
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: A Gothic Romance Novel
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: Your Favorite Tarot Deck
👁‍🗨 What To Wear Upon Greeting Death
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: A Melancholic Holiday
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: A Date With A Monster
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: Dramatic Jewelry
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: A Tee Shirt

How To Wear: A Winter Getaway

Bamboo Garden, Hakone Museum, 1954 - Toshi Yoshida

Bamboo Garden, Hakone Museum, 1954 – Toshi Yoshida

I have always found February to be the cruelest month, in terms of winter madness (although it rivals November, I think, in terms of emotional upheaval). While I was living up north there was always a certain point during the month of February where I would be curled up on the couch, shivering and gazing out the window and thinking, resignedly, how it has always been winter and there was never a time before winter and I was born in the snow and I’d die in the snow and that’s all there was to it.

Looking out my window now, there is a wilting hibiscus under a blazing sun and two feral cats making noisy love on a tree stump in my direct line of sight. I am a little grossed out, but my fingertips aren’t numb and my coffee hasn’t frosted over, and you know, life’s not perfect. But I am not cold, and I am not going to slip and fall on a patch of ice just outside my front door when I go to check my mail this afternoon. It is February in Florida and I have escaped that dread, formerly freezing existence.

My lifelong habit of escaping into daydream is no doubt what kept utter delirium at bay during those long, frozen years. Imagining breathless travels to far-off places that boast vibrant sunsets, lush flower gardens, and beautiful architecture, I’d slip into a trance-like state while envisioning sipping espresso in a Parisian cafe, or silently hiking through ancient forests, or just stopping to give a ragged alley cat behind-the-ear skritches while sneaking around Venetian canals, attempting to avoid running into a murdering dwarf in a red raincoat (my daydreams get kind of fucked up sometimes.)

Regardless of whether you’re merely escaping the cold weather, or literally running for your life during your mid-winter holiday, you can’t visit to these imaginary destinations without a valise full of clothes for travel! With shapes inspired by majestic cathedrals and celestial temples, colors reflecting the seasonal flora or the afternoon sun on the ocean, and textures reminiscent of cascading waterfalls and mythical priestesses’ mysterious veils, below you will find a variety of wardrobe selections for fanciful February frolics whilst pretend-journeying abroad.  As always, click on the individual images for details on where to find each item.

Travels to the Wind Forest

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A Hideaway On Mystery Beach

Mysterious Beach Hideaway

Cologne Cathedral, Germany

 

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The Oracle of Delphi

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Mayan Temples

Mayan Temples

England In Midsummer

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Paris At Dusk

Paris, France

The Everglades

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Taroko Gorge

Taroko Gorge

Abandoned Amusement Park In Berlin

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Venice

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Wanna see some more ridiculous ensembles? Go nuts!

👁‍🗨 How To Wear: Your Favorite Horror Film
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: The Arts
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: The Spring Equinox
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: The Winter Solstice
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: The Autumn Equinox
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: A Jean Rollin Film
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: A Gothic Romance Novel
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: Your Favorite Tarot Deck
👁‍🗨 What To Wear Upon Greeting Death
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: A Melancholic Holiday
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: A Date With A Monster
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: Dramatic Jewelry
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: A Tee Shirt

How To Wear: Your Favorite Horror Film

crimson-peak-mainWith the new year comes new wardrobe resolutions: throw out/donate what you no longer wear or no longer fits properly, add more color and pizzazz to your outfits, swap your ratty stuff out for more high-quality pieces, invest in classic blazers and cashmere and so on and so forth. Blah, blah, blargh.

Ho-hum! I don’t know about you, but I nearly fell asleep typing that just now. Boo, hiss! Boring!

Now if one were to consult me, my sartorial suggestion for 2017 is to wear every day like it is your favorite horror film! Harnesses, spikes, studs, and torture couture to emulate beloved cenobites and malicious madams, the gilt headdresses and flowing silk worn by eldritch sea priestesses, or perhaps a velvet curtain-inspired antique, ruffled peignoir, to greet that poor, sweet vampire boy knocking on your window in the dead of night. Plumb the infinite depths of your terror to yield dark, fantastical prêt-à-porter revelations this season!

As always, click the image below to find a list of the apparel, accessories, and accoutrements used for each grouping.

Previous ridiculous installments of How To Wear:
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: The Arts
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: The Spring Equinox
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: The Winter Solstice
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: The Autumn Equinox
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: A Jean Rollin Film
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: A Gothic Romance Novel
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: Your Favorite Tarot Deck
👁‍🗨 What To Wear Upon Greeting Death
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: A Melancholic Holiday
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: A Date With A Monster
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: Dramatic Jewelry
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: A Tee Shirt

Hellraiser

Hellraiser

Imprint

Imprint

Dagon

Dagon

 

The Company Of Wolves

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Let’s Scare Jessica To Death

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Salem’s Lot

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The Iron Rose

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Crimson Peak

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…and as a bonus, perhaps you might try a variation on this theme:
How To Wear: Your Favorite Horror Novel!

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