Archive of ‘not a fashion blog’ category

How to Wear a Date with Krampus

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I have a theory. Just hear me out here, okay?

Krampus, after a long day of chaining and beating children and whisking them away to his fiery lair, just wants to wrap up his business, clock out, and spend time with his sweetie.

Krampus doesn’t like to bring his work home with him. All that violence and fear? That’s an act for the children. In truth, he’s a gentle lover. Dancing? He’s up for it. Netflix and chill? Baby, you know he’s down for that, too. You’re Krampus’ main squeeze after all, and he really just wants to make you happy.

When you gaze lovingly at your bae’s wicked horns and cloven hooves, run your fingers over his cold, iron chains, and stroke his furry pelt, you don’t find his monstrous appearance repellent in the slightest. In fact, you realize that your sweetie–that magnificent beast in the other room mixing you a cocktail–is terrific outfit inspiration!

See below for three Krampus-inspired ensembles full of furred bags, split-toe shoes, claws, chains, switches, and demonic visages, perfect for dancing the night away, terrorizing the neighborhood, or an evening of sexy-times shenanigans with your own unholy Yule Lord.

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Zimmerman Empire Sueded Dress $750 // La Perla Lace Briefs $75 // Gold Leather T-Straps $74.99 // Alexander McQueen Fur Clutch $2400 // Kenneth Jay Lane Gold Link Necklace $365 // Julie Aylward Venice Ring $250 // Tessa Metcalfe Claw Ring $760 // Saint Laurent Lace Scarf $375 // Tom Ford Black Orchid $75-$165 // Ciaté London X Olivia Palermo Nail Collection $24

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Samuji Black Tsula Sweater $330 // Paige “Edgemont” skinny jeans $249 // Blush Smolder Retro Brief $38 // Stella McCartney “Falabella” faux fur shoulder bag $1,260 // KD2024 Claw Onyx and Silver Double Ring $891 // Formula X KVD Nail Polish $13 // Arthemis Stretch Bodice $850 // Maison Martin Margiela Split Toe Wooden Tabi Boot, $990 // Talon Earrings by MillarJewellery $116.17 // Blackbird The Wendol perfume $88 // Burialground Broomstick necklace $80

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Bouchra Jarrar Front Zip Dress $1,160 // Else Petunia Fitted Slip w/ Removable Suspenders $175 // Chelsea Paris “Adile” caged cutout leather ankle boots $645 // Versace Leather shoulder bag $1,150 // Unearthen Mini Spectra Ring $230 // Alexander McQueen Harness Skull Ring $415 // Pamela Love Silver Talon Cuff $1,250 // Silver Spoon Attire Velvet Over-Sized Bow Headband $300 // LUSH Lust perfume $16-$40 // MAC eyeshadow $16 “Dark Desires”

(This article was originally posted at Dirge; the site is no longer active.)

How To Wear A Bookstack

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Well, I don’t know about you, but when I have a Saturday afternoon all to myself and a pile of books crying for my undivided attention, I go all out. It’s true. I will slip into my most splendid finery, don my sparkliest baubles, paint my face, spritz myself with the most expensive fragrances on my shelf (sometimes maybe three or four at once!) and then…plop down on the sofa and begin reading long into the night.

Is that weird? I don’t know. I often get all dressed up to spend the day alone, and there’s no finer reason to do so than in the name of devouring a much anticipated stack of books. Here’s a suggested ensemble for the next time you have the marvelous opportunity to get all gussied up for your bookstack. (With some required reading, of course!)

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1. Louisianna Purchase tee $35 // 2. Black pleated skirt $38 // 3. Paige cropped velvet jacket $400 // 4. Altuzarra ankle boots $1310 // 5. Gerbe Paris By Night tights $55 // 6. Hopeless Into The Night collection $65-$170 // 7. Maison Michel Lace Bow Rabbit Ears $519 // 8. Well Read Woman pouch $10 // 9. Swankmetalsmithing evil eye ring $625+ // 10. Goldengrove Dust To Dust ring $150 // 11. Bloodmilk Belonging To The Darkness ring (discontinued) // 12. Tiger’s Eye bracelet $200 // 13. Pamela Love rosary $225 // 14. Bloodmilk mourning strand $250 // 15. Goldengrove onyx skull ring $545 // 16. Smith & Cult Shattered Souls nail lacquer $18 // 17. Rituel de Fille Frenzy inner glow pigment $29 // 18. Jardins d’Ecrivains Wilde Eau de Parfum $110

The Books…
Paperbacks From Hell: The Twisted History of ’70s and ’80s Horror Fiction by Grady Hendrix
The Grip of It by Jac Jemc
Mapping The Interior by Stephen Graham Jones

Looking for more suggestions? See below and click on the images for details!

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How To Wear A Dramatic Cathedral

Cosmo China Styled By Beagy Zielinski

Cosmo China Styled By Beagy Zielinski

When I peek at instagram and see intrepid travelers posting their moody cathedral photos which capture the magnificent drama of an old city’s elaborate Gothic architecture–pointed archways, vaulted ceilings, flying buttress, and gargoyles, of course!–I become inspired by these places of piety and worship, whose towering spires and arches literally reach up into the heavens. Of course, I’m not particularly overcome with any sort of holy reverie or overwhelming divinity, heavens no. But rather by the grace and grandeur of the designs and structures themselves, and perhaps the heritage, culture, and community life of the areas they serve.

What form does this inspiration take? Well, I’m not sure that God or the pope would approve, but peek below for four examples of how one might wear the drama of these majestic edifices, and as always, click on the image for a detailed listing of the items used in each ensemble.

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How to wear the paranormal activity that lurks in your drain

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I don’t know about you, but every time my hair clogs up a household drain, I blame it on the vague presence of “paranormal activity”.  Curious as to how one might ooze the dark, casual style of a haute, haunted hairball? No? I don’t believe you! See below for an summary of the items used in the ensemble above, and as always, click on the images to see more details about where to buy.

Featured image: Coming For You by Feebrile

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How To Wear The Summer Solstice

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Submitted for your perusal with a minimum of fuss or commentary; I mean we should all be out enjoying the longest day of the year anyway, right? Not blogging or internet shopping!* Go for a sunrise hike, or float in your inflatable swan in the community pool, or have a lovely picnic in the shade (be sure to pack the world’s most amazing tomato salad!) In the interim, click here, or on the image above for item details!

Okay, I’m a hypocrite. You know I won’t set foot outside while the sun still blazes in the sky! Feel free to tell me all about your solstice adventures, though! I’ll be with you in spirit!

Wanna see some more ridiculous ensembles? Go nuts!

👁‍🗨 How To Wear: A Box Of Crayons
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: Arsenical Wallpapers
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: Your Favorite Books & Stories
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: A Winter Getaway
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: Your Favorite Horror Film
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: The Arts
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: The Spring Equinox
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: The Winter Solstice
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: The Autumn Equinox
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: A Jean Rollin Film
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: A Gothic Romance Novel
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: Your Favorite Tarot Deck
👁‍🗨 What To Wear Upon Greeting Death
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: A Melancholic Holiday
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: A Date With A Monster
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: Dramatic Jewelry
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: A Tee Shirt

2018 Resort Collections Report: Mostly Tedious But Not All Bad

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For your Friday afternoon perusal: A quick look at some of my favorites from the various 2018 Resort Collections. From my experience, these springtime/summer(ish) collections are usually an exercise in tedium, but every once in a while there will be a stunner. Actually…do I even know the different between a “Resort collection” or a “Spring/Summer collection”?

No, I do not. But Vogue tells us all about it, right here, if you are also similarly perplexed.

Well, whatever. Look at some fashion stuff.

Anna Sui Resort 2018

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Ellery Resort 2018

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Elizabeth and James Resort 2018

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Etro Resort 2018

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Lela Rose Resort 2018

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Moschino Resort 2018

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Orla Kiely Resort 2018

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Reem Acra Resort 2018

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Stella McCartney Resort 2018

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Roksanda Resort 2018

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Temperley London Resort 2018

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Valentino Resort 2018

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Vionnet Resort 2018

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All images via Vogue

How To Wear: A Box Of Crayons

Kaleidoscope Color editorial shot for Interview Magazine by Greogory Harris, 2011

Kaleidoscope Color editorial shot for Interview Magazine by Gregory Harris, 2011

It’s well and truly summer. Sigh. I guess that means hemlines rise and colors lighten up. SIGH. You know I have a very difficult time with these concepts.

But sometimes it’s good to go with the flow, right? Experiment a little? Maybe don’t go too crazy (as the title of this post suggests), but perhaps…just one crayon at a time? I think we can do this.

Find a slip of a dress that whispers the soft pink of the dawn before the day’s heat begins to blaze; a sheer tank top that reflects the cool, clear blue of a secret swimming spot, a weirdly patterned frock in the bold shades of children’s pool floaties or another echoing the hues of a deep red rose, a tee shirt screaming the lurid orange of the sun’s dying rays on a late July afternoon, or a dress the vibrant green of grass clippings that stick to your feet when you walk outside barefoot to get the mail, after the lawn man has cut two weeks worth of growth…

Below you will find a few suggestions in this vein; as always click each image for more information on the items used and where to purchase.

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Previous ridiculous installments of How To Wear:
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: Arsenical Wallpapers
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: Your Favorite Books & Stories
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: A Winter Getaway
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: Your Favorite Horror Film
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: The Arts
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: The Spring Equinox
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: The Winter Solstice
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: The Autumn Equinox
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: A Jean Rollin Film
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: A Gothic Romance Novel
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: Your Favorite Tarot Deck
👁‍🗨 What To Wear Upon Greeting Death
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: A Melancholic Holiday
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: A Date With A Monster
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: Dramatic Jewelry
👁‍🗨 How To Wear: A Tee Shirt

Friday Fripperies {Summer 2017 Edition}

Friday Fripperies

 

1. Tenebrae Eau de Parfum by L’Artisan $210  // 2. Moth ring by Paul Hagerskans $102 // 3. Moonstone spike earrings at Loved to Death $140 // 4. Deathling tank by AJ Hawkins $35 // 5. Old world florals tote by Jessica Roux $20 // 6. Lonely label Penny briefs $42.49 // 7. Klairs mochi bb cream cushion $22.80 // 8. Grey balloony dress from JoozieCotton $50 // 9. Melissa Creatives wedge sandals $49.95

 

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