crime & punishment

bat

…tfw you are found guilty of premeditated dumbness in the extreme and your punishment is knowing that you were so close to being done with your project but now you must account for the crime of having obliterated a pair of knitpicks needles and dropping over 300 stitches in the process, derailing weeks and weeks worth of progress on the most complicated shawl you have ever attempted…

“If I may direct you to exhibit A., an artist’s rendering of the diabolical perpetrator involved in the events of last night.”

*Addresses jury of peers*

“Yes, I can swear to it! This vampire bat ring totally came to life and ate my knitting needles. You can even see the bite marks from his pointy fangs! I absolutely did NOT have over one thousand stitches jammed on a  flimsy 8-inch circular needle with known defects. No, ladies and gentleman of the jury, only a madwoman would have attempted such incredibly stupid and dangerous folly.”

*adjusts collar,sweats nervously*

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