Kiss Me As The Undead Armies Approach And My Talking Skull Weeps Diamond Tears

Kiss Me As The Undead Armies Approach And My Talking Skull Weeps Diamond Tears The Sarah Elizabeth Story

Kiss Me As The Undead Armies Approach And My Talking Skull Weeps Diamond Tears: The Sarah Elizabeth Story {Artist: Pino D’Angelico}

I have been often accused of both taking things too seriously and yet somehow I do not take things seriously enough. Well, which is it? I wish I knew.

I can tell you that I do have a great love of general foolishness and absurdity (except for pranks, which are just awful and hateful, and candid camera type baloney, which is even worse). In my heart of hearts, I’m a massive goofball. Some might go as far as to say that I revel in idiocy, but those are just my sisters saying that and you can’t pay them any mind.

This manifests itself in a number of situations, mostly private, I think, because I am very much internally motivated and most of my trials and tribulations, my comedies and tragedies, occur in the stage of my own mind. This all sounds very dramatic but I guess what I am saying is that I talk to myself a lot. And I’m not even embarrassed to tell you that personally, I think I’m hilarious. Except when I’m working myself up to a good cry, because, well, you know, that happens in these conversations, too. I can be very cruel. But also very sensitive! There are sometimes tears.

But mostly I am making myself laugh, and oftentimes it’s with regard to art, especially olde-timey stuff or pulpy comics schlock–but whatever I’m viewing I can’t help but to impose my own ridiculous inner dialogue onto the canvas. I normally post them up on facebook or instagram or twitter and I know I’ve got a number of friends who indulge this behavior–and I love you for it. You’ve created a monster, and now I can’t stop.

I’ve collected several of them below, for posterity. Do you do this, as well? Feel free to share in the comments, or just tell me about the silliness you get up to when you can’t help yourself.

don't ever invite me to a bachelorette party unless you have some crazy shit like this planned.

Don’t invite me to yr bachelorette party unless there’s some crazy shit planned. {image: Geisterjäger John Sinclair- 37 Die Hexeninsel}

Fuck this guy.

Get you a Pierre who can deal with you at your corpsiest. {Cover art: Forbidden Worlds #24 }

"Best meetup group." “I have been looking at your squirrel.” The adventures of a squirrel : supposed to be related by himself. Darton and Harvey, 1807.

Best meetup group. {“I have been looking at your squirrel.” The adventures of a squirrel : supposed to be related by himself. Darton and Harvey, 1807.}

...but do you have this in black? The abbess from Basel's dance of death by Matthäus Merian.

…but do you have this in black? {The abbess from Basel’s dance of death by Matthäus Merian.}

Me, after penning a particularly obnoxious Yelp review and deeming it a literary masterpiece. {“What a paragraph I have written.” From Vermont Hall, or Light through the Darkness by M. A. Paull, 1888}

I would love to read her okcupid profile. No judgement. Artist: Averardo Ciriello

I wanna read her okcupid profile. No judgement. {Artist: Averardo Ciriello}

TRY AGAIN MY EYES ARE UP HERE. {Ophelia (1880), de Madeleine Lemaire}

TRY AGAIN MY EYES ARE UP HERE. {Ophelia (1880), de Madeleine Lemaire}

This is the clothing subscription box we deserve. {A History of Caricature and Grotesque in Literature and Art by Thomas Wright, 1875.}

This is the clothing subscription box we deserve. {A History of Caricature and Grotesque in Literature and Art by Thomas Wright, 1875.}

outta my way there's autumn things happening {Illustration from Favorite Fairy Tales, 1861}

outta my way there’s autumn things happening {Illustration from Favorite Fairy Tales, 1861}

actual photo from when I was in the girl scouts {Three Witches from Shakespeare’s Macbeth, 1840, George Cattermole}

actual photo from when I was in the girl scouts {Three Witches from Shakespeare’s Macbeth, 1840, George Cattermole}

#beachbodygoals {From Loraine and the Little People by Elizabeth Gordon and illustrated by M. T. Ross, 1915.}

#beachbodygoals {From Loraine and the Little People by Elizabeth Gordon and illustrated by M. T. Ross, 1915.}

Jesus, Larry. Quit breaking my shit. I told you not to touch anything. {From The London Journal, 1863.}

Jesus, Larry. Quit breaking my shit. I told you not to touch anything. {From The London Journal, 1863.}

friday night gang's all here {Art: Jack Thurston}

friday night, gang’s all here {Art: Jack Thurston}

RE: invoking demonic entities. It pays to be discerning when selecting a child with which to tempt your demon. You wouldn't want to pick a dud. Pro-tip: thump the youngster on the head, lightly, as when choosing a ripe melon. Listen for a lively exclamation of outrage. You've got a winner! Engraving from Macé’s Fairy Book. Home Fairy Tales (Contes du Petit-Château). By Jean Macé. Translated by Mary L. Booth. With Engravings. New York: Harper & Brothers, 1868.

RE: invoking demonic entities. It pays to be discerning when selecting a child with which to tempt your demon. You wouldn’t want to pick a dud. Pro-tip: thump the youngster on the head, lightly, as when choosing a ripe melon. Listen for a lively exclamation of outrage. You’ve got a winner! {Engraving from Macé’s Fairy Book. Home Fairy Tales (Contes du Petit-Château). By Jean Macé. Translated by Mary L. Booth. With Engravings. New York: Harper & Brothers, 1868.}

6 Comments on Kiss Me As The Undead Armies Approach And My Talking Skull Weeps Diamond Tears

  1. OTB
    February 21, 2018 at 7:39 pm (9 months ago)

    I do wish I had a judgmental birds print for the bathroom.

    Reply
  2. Melissa
    February 21, 2018 at 9:28 pm (9 months ago)

    While the last image and your caption are my favorite (“…thump the youngster on the head, lightly, as when choosing a ripe melon”) I am really hoping you use the “outta my way there are fall things happening” picture as an intro to the blog entry about your fall bucket list trip.

    Reply
  3. Jekki
    February 22, 2018 at 12:03 am (9 months ago)

    this made my day 😂😂😂

    Reply
  4. Theodora
    February 22, 2018 at 7:37 am (9 months ago)

    Black humour…its the best there is!

    Reply
  5. Adrienne
    February 23, 2018 at 12:13 am (9 months ago)

    I can’t love this enough. Perfection! 😂

    Reply
  6. Angeliska
    February 23, 2018 at 8:51 pm (9 months ago)

    You is funnaaaaaaay! I always enjoy your sense of humor, and wish we could meet and be total goofballs in person one day!

    Reply

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