I’ve got an unfortunate case of the blarghs. You know that feeling – nothing you do feels good enough, you feel like all of your friendships are the built upon pity (for you are a sad, pathetic creature) and you really just don’t amount to much of anything. Why are you here? What’s the point? You just can’t even, and it feels like maybe you never could and never will again.
The blarghs have plagued me for going on a week now. I took ill with a wretched head cold and it all went downhill from there. When you’ve low energy and feeling unwell I think it’s a lot easier for those fat-dumb-ugly thoughts to start sneaking in, and man, I am afraid they’ve hit me super hard.
I know you are supposed to be kind to yourself during times like these, but I really just feel like slapping myself in the face and maybe lying down in the middle of the road. I mean I don’t want to get run over or anything – Jesus, calm down, I am not that bad off – but I sort of feel like I just need to lie face down in a muddy puddle or something. Like, rub my own nose in how bad I am feeling. Why would I feel like that? Why would I want to do that? I don’t rightly know. But I can tell you that I am having a hard time mustering kindness for myself at this moment in time.
It’s funny though…I always think that when I am feeling badly about things and myself and life in general…maybe kindness toward others will help. Maybe I should be giving away what I need the most? I don’t know. My brain is fuzzy and dumb today and I can’t think straight or articulate things real good.
What do you do when you’ve got the blarghs and the ughs and the blues and the worst feelings? I could use some suggestions folks, because I’m sure I don’t need to tell you, this is not a nice way to feel.