2024
After my recent appreciation of Osgood Perkins’ Gretel & Hansel, I found myself deeply disappointed by Longlegs. The film follows FBI agent Lee Harker (Maika Monroe) investigating intriguing ritualistic murders–and she’s possibly psychic, too!– but overall, the story drowns itself in shadows and uncertainty. Nicolas Cage appears as our mysterious killer, and despite the marketing buzz about his “transformative” performance, he’s…exactly Nicolas Cage, just pale and weird and freaky – leaving me unsure whether to be grossed out or exasperated by his presence. So…lower your expectations, I guess. Are they pretty low now? Go even lower.
Whil Perkins’ signature atmospheric style remains, sort of– all shadowy corridors and deliberate pacing (not quite the striking fairytale forest terror of Gretel and Hansel) – the film never quite coheres into something meaningful. It drifts between sterile FBI offices and the grimy, cluttered world of Harker’s mother and never quite finds its footing as either supernatural horror or serial killer thriller. Longlegs seems to mistake opacity for profundity, explaining its demonic elements through heavy-handed exposition while somehow still managing to leave more questions than answers.
This is, without question, my most disappointing film of the year, and I’m already tired of thinking about it. Someone will probably tell me I need to watch it again to appreciate it and see all the nuances or whatever, or that I need to read some think pieces or interviews or watch a Q&A with Perkins to understand the story and intentions more thoroughly. Come on! Get out of here with that! I’ve only got this one precious life, man! And that’s just not how I’m gonna spend it. Onto the next one.
Day Twenty-Five of 31 Days Of Horror in years past: 2023 // 2022 // 2021
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