Unquiet
Things

I love it that you’re enthusiastic about your babbies and your doggos, and I live for seeing all of your beautiful selfies. Your political talk doesn’t bother me one iota! Sometimes, though, I got a lot of problems with you people. And now you’re gonna hear about it.

A List Of Reasons For Which I Have Unfollowed People On Facebook, Ranked

10. Too many photos of your boring food (delicious looking food is okay).
9. Vaguebooking. Jesus. Either say whatever, or don’t. Quit dicking around.
8. Run-on sentences with no punctuation. Your poorly constructed shit gives me vertigo.
7. Your stupid drama. Work that out privately. You’re causing me the fremdschämen willies.
6. Animal abuse. WTF is wrong with you, you fucking psycho?
5. Your themed engagement photoshoot.
4. Folks who are purportedly #soblessed. You are the literal worst.
3. That friend from long ago who I thought might still be decent, but you posted a Ted Nugent photo.
2. You shared a video of that woman on instagram who is always eating exotic fruit & smiling vacuously
1. You tagged me in something really dumb, in a very public way. You’re dead to me.