I’m not sure there’s much point to doing a thing if you are only going to half ass it, but truth be told: I’m tired. Two days ago I drove halfway down the state for work reasons, spent the last 48 hours doing stressful social work things and today I drove back up the state to get home.  I’m beat, dammit.

But I also committed myself to writing certain things this year, one of them being a monthly series basically forcing me to talk about perfumes.  I’d like to get better at describing the things I like, properly articulating and sharing the reasons that someone else might like them too–and that’s why you’re likely seeing more Reviews of Things on the ol’ blargh right now. While I suppose I don’t have any trouble expressing an opinion about something, describing the qualities of something has always thrown me for a loop.  I don’t consider myself an expert in much of …well, anything really. So who am I to give an account of the characteristics or facets of a particular thing?  Well, I am trying, I suppose.

All this is to say is that I am too flipping exhausted to talk about any particular fragrance this month, so I am going to report on my goofier half’s impressions regarding some of the scents that I wear.  It’s not exactly creative writing, but it’s worth documenting, right?

So without further ado, here are some of my dude’s thinks on my favorite stinks:

• Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab Snake Oil: “cocoa lube + chocolate Axe”
• Etro Messe de Minuit: “Lemon Pledge + a woo-woo shop”
• Annick Goutal Mandragore: “citrus?…and a weird musk?”
• Etat Libre d’Orange La Fin du Monde: “…hazy vanilla?”
• Etat Libre d’Orange Afternoon Of A Faun: “you smell puuuuuurty”
• Serge Lutens Chergui: “…intoxicating” (This was a few years ago, when we first started dating; when I recently reminded him of his description he looked sheepish and said “…I must have been horny.”
• Euphorium Brooklyn Cilice: “a smoky fire… but after you’ve dumped a bucket of water on it.”
• Dawn Spencer Hurwitz Cardamom & Kyphi: “ack…acrid cinnamon…stuff…”
• Revlon Color Extend Shampoo: Ok, not a fragrance, per se, but it is worth noting that after I washed my hair with this, he noted that my head smelled like “dog ears”.

Well, then. Make of this what you will.