Epic Adventures That Never Really Happened: Golden Girl & The Guardians of the Gemstone

via jewelridersarchive

Don’t get me wrong, I loved She-ra and I LOVED the recent She-ra and the Princesses of Power reboot, but I’d also love to see another go at the short-lived, empowered girl-gang Golden Girl and the Guardians of the Gemstones.

The series of action figures from Galoob was set in a world “before history on earth when myth and magic still existed.” Golden Girl and her Guardians, named after precious stones, protected the powerful vaguely-named Gemstone from the evil clutches of the pink-haired-and-amazingly-rad Dragon Queen from Storm Isle, who would ostensibly get up to no good with it and use it to take over Argonia.

I was just reading on a forum that She-ra was introduced to the world in October 1984, and Golden Girl showed up that very next month, so I’m guessing it was some sort of knock-off cashing in on She-ra popularity (maybe?) But man. Look at this lot. There’s a campy gravitas and a ferocity here that She-ra was lacking and I think this could have been a very different thing altogether. I mean–those villains! (THOSE FASHIONS!)

Funny story. My family moved to FL from Ohio in 1985, I would have been about 9 years old. I actually had a few of these Golden Girl dolls. It was a Friday or Saturday night, not long after we had moved into our new house and my sisters and I were super excited to see that Golden Girl was listed in the TV Guide (remember that thing?) As you can imagine, that show was…not what we thought it was going to be. But in the end, we adored Dorothy, Blanche, Rose, and Sophia anyway!

I don’t think Golden Girl ever did get a television show–I’m not even sure if there was one in the works–but in lieu of celluloid Galoob fantasy barbarians, have a peek at this old commercial instead. Thirty-plus years later I can STILL hear that jingle in my head! Be sure to watch this link, as it also includes a European version, which is moodier and sassier and even better.

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