6 Apr
Watercolor Picard by Olga Shvartsur

Peeves, I have them. Here’s a biggie. Sometimes I post on social media asking for recommendations from my friends and acquaintances. I like to know about things that have worked well for other people. Things that you have enjoyed. Things that made life better, easier, sweeter. Recipes. Skincare. Murder shows. Poetry. Cast iron skillets. Whatever!

But here’s the thing: I’m asking *you* about *your* experience with the thing, and whether or not you would suggest that thing for me. I definitely trust my like-minded souls and kindred spirits more than, say, yelp or tripadvisor or makeupalley! So please know that by the time I have asked for suggestions from my friends and followers on facebook or twitter, for example, I will have undoubtedly already scoured review blogs and youtube videos and what have you, ahead of time. I’ve done some research–in many cases quite a bit of research– so I have a good idea of the various things that people might recommend to me… but then when I ask my inner circles and trusted advisors, I get to see who among my friends mentions what (and since we sort of already know each other for the most part, I already have an idea if we are of similar mindsets) or how many people mention a certain thing…and can you see where I am going with this? Asking people whom you know and vice versa, for their real-life, actual experience with a thing, yields infinitely more helpful results than just consulting random articles or review sites on the internet, written by faceless people whom I do not know.

BUT you know what just kills me? When people on my facebook or twitter or whatever respond to my request for suggestions/recommendations/advice with “…if you google it, you’ll find…” or “…have you tried doing some research on the internet?”

Goddammit. That makes me feel angry. You just wasted both your time and mine and you totally missed the point.

BONUS material! You didn’t ask, but I have some random recommendations for you. One: miso paste stirred into mashed potatoes is delicious. Two: Requiem on netflix was a creepy, mostly entertaining show. And three: are you peeking in daily at The Spoodoir? Because Maika always has fantastically fun stuff to share.

Have you any random recommendations for me?

Laila says

I feel your frustration! It's also super annoying if people can't recommend something definitive and just say something along the lines of "I found this great article/writer you'd love, but I can't remember the name right now!" WELL WHY DID YOU COMMENT THEN. Drives me up the wall!

S. Elizabeth says

Right! EXACTLY! Or if you post asking a question and then you get 50 people replying to tell you they don't know the answer. Like...why...did you even waste the energy typing that???

S. Elizabeth says

I should add, this was prompted by a question I asked in a knitting group on facebook, not my own facebook page. I was asking for people's favorite knitted socks patterns. (And if it's a favorite, you'd think that would imply that it's a pattern you have knit not just once but perhaps multiple times, right?) I gave a few criteria, and asked for links. The responses ran the gamut from "have you tried looking for patterns on google?" to "DUH I LIKE SOCKS" (I'm only slightly exaggerating about that one.)

And then there are some people who will do the googling for me to prove how smart they are. They will look for sock patterns on the internet (we'll continue using socks for my example) which fit all the criteria I have listed and then say "well, have you tried x/y/z pattern?" And because I am passive-aggressive and know exactly what they are up to, I will say "wow, thanks, I have not knit that before! What did you think of it when you knit it? Was it a well-written pattern, did you enjoy it, would you knit it again?" And nine out of ten times their response is "...well, I've not knit it yet..."


Theodora says

I recently read 'Kraken' by China Mieville which I thoroughly enjoyed? And graah at annoying people!!

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