Unquiet
Things

It has been forever (or at least a year?) since I’ve written about Stitch Fix, and the reason for that, to be perfectly honest, is because I thought I was done with them.

To sum up, if you’ve never heard of them, or you’d blocked from your mind my blathering about them: Stitch Fix is a subscription box service. You sign up on the site, fill out some preferences, and once a month or so they send you a box of five things. You keep what you want and send the rest back. You pay a $20 fee per box, which is credited toward whatever you keep. If you don’t keep anything, you lose your “styling fee”. That’s basically it. I got about 10 boxes from them last year, which you can read all about under the Stitch Fix tag if you so desire.

Why did I even sign up for it? Well, mainly because my wardrobe consisted of jeans and tee shirts. And even though that’s perfectly fine most of the time because I work from home and never go anywhere, in the past few years I’ve had to start attending more out of state conferences and conventions, etc., for work, and every once in a while I have a social function with people outside my usual sphere, folks for whom I’d prefer to dress a little more “normal” in front of. You know what I mean, I know you do.

After a year or so I, one: pretty much had everything I needed, wardrobe-wise, and two: they kept switching out my stylist and with every new person styling my box, the items they would choose for me became increasingly more off-the-mark and ridiculous. So I just put the service on hold for a while.

However! When someone uses your referral link (which, by the way, is peppered liberally throughout this post), and signs up and gets their first box, I get $25 credit. And apparently a few people did this over the past 12 months, and I had some credit to play with. So…I thought I would give it another try! Let’s see how badly they fucked it up this time, shall we? Spoiler: they kind of did fuck it up. Spoiler no. 2: I did not actually try any of it on, Meaghan. You’re not the boss of me.

Moselle Cardigan from The Korner. The first thing I unwrapped was this insane sweater thing. It seriously weighed a million pounds, which was the first red flag because in April, in FL, it’s already sweltering, so no one is going to want to wear your ugly crocheted cardigan made from 50 albino Fraggle pelts. Just no. This absurdity costs $128.  Also, they spelled corner with a “K”. JUST NO. I sent it back, after I broke both my arms trying to lift it back into the box.

Deitz ruffle blouse from Alice Blue. Well, she got the “moody florals” part right. I’m a sucker for anything that looks like Aunt Maude’s curtains or that sofa you remember from your grandmother’s house in 1975. However, I do not, under any circumstances, wear spaghetti straps, and also the length looks like it would probably hit me just above my belly button, and those bits are no one’s business but my own. This costs $48 but you could probably get the same thing from a sale rack at The Wet Seal for $7.99. Sent back!

Mollee dress from Kut From The Kloth. Now this…this was interesting. But dammit, how many black dresses do I need? And I’ll confess, I was so offended by everything else in the box that I snubbed it out of spite. Also, I’ve not been feeling so great about the old bod recently, and this looked like it was going to be clingy, and you know, I really just didn’t want to make myself cry. Returned. But if you are interested, it was $88.

Cameryn skinny pant by Liverpool. UUUUGGGGHHHH. Why, god, why?! I really, really despise colored pants. Pants should be some form of denim colored or black. That’s it. There are no exceptions. I am not interested in your shamrock trousers, Stitch Fix! And I know you know that, because I’ve marked it in my preferences! Get it out of my face. $88

Odelle knit dress by Papermoon. This one isn’t exactly terrible, either. I like the color, and the print (I’m wild about florals and paisleys) but what I don’t like are wrap dresses. I don’t like the thought that on a whim, my dress might open up and spill all my goods for all the world to see. And I don’t care if it doesn’t work that way, my point is that I am anxious about enough in life as it is; I don’t need to add “frock betrayal” to the list. Away it goes! $74.

Well, I gave it another shot. I tried! And yet I kept nothing. But you know what? I am doing it again next month! I have one more credit left, and it covers the cost of the styling fee, so I’m kind of getting the box for free and even if I hate everything, it’s …fun to see what they’ll pick out for me. So I will report back next month, and I may even try some things on.

Until then…am I nuts? Is this all ugly? Or am a being bitchy and hasty? What would you have kept? Feel free to weigh in!