20 Things (You Never Asked) About Me

Woman Reading by Window. Jessie Wilcox Smith

1. I used to think that little people lived in my stomach and their village would starve to death if I didn’t eat the Wheat Chex my mother served me every morning.

2. I still believe that the inner workings of cars and computers are powered by fairies and elves.

3. I don’t care for ice cream or cake or pie or candy or cookies. But I do like a lovely crème brûlée.

4. For the years of ten through eleven I slept with a photo of Indiana Jones that I’d torn from the TV Guide.

5. I am terrified of speaking in front of crowds, but you can’t shut me up when I get in front of a camera.

6. I love to sing. My voice is not great, but I don’t think it’s awful, either.

7. I don’t dance. Not even in the house, alone.

8. When I am dreaming, and I enter a darkened room and the light switch isn’t working, that’s how I know it’s about to become a nightmare.

9. My favorite number is two and odd numbers make me a little nervous.

10. I prefer curved shapes. Sharp angles make me anxious, and I often attribute aggressive personalities to them.

11. I would rather wear darker colors but I do love a nice bright, pumpkin-y orange.

12. My sisters and I used to mingle and fraternize our Barbie dolls and Star Wars action figures. Lando Calrissian went on a ski trip with Day to Night Barbie, and things went dark when he slid down a treacherous slope into our trash can (at least we thought that’s where he went) but we couldn’t find him afterward and he was never seen again.

13. I get very upset when I think about my sisters and I not recognizing each other in the next life.

14. My favorite scent is fresh marjoram.

15. My least favorite smell is bubblegum.

16. I can’t even be around people who are chewing gum, I have to leave the room.

17. I like it when older ladies call me honey or sweetheart or darling. I almost yearn for it. Probably because I miss my mother and my grandmother. Conversely, I hate it when men call me those things.

18. In order of things I like to do best: putter in the kitchen, knit, read, watch movies. I feel like if I never did anything but these four things, it would still be a pretty great life.

19. I have strong opinions about people who drizzle ketchup all over their french fries before they even start eating them. I actually have kind of strong opinions on ketchup, in general. On it’s own, it tastes like a mouthful of barf. It needs to be partnered with mustard.

20. I once told a group of people that when I die I would like my body to be expertly butchered and barbecued and served to those I loved most, with a variety of delicious dipping sauces. I can’t think of a more lovely way to be remembered. Dipping sauces are the best.

8 Comments on 20 Things (You Never Asked) About Me

  1. Shay N.
    March 3, 2020 at 11:21 am (1 month ago)

    1-6, 11-14, 17, 18 (sooooo much 18), & 20 (bwahahaha) These are all things I wish I had asked and also infinite reason I love you SOOOOOOO much. You are a soul sister and a lovely friend.

    Reply
    • S. Elizabeth
      March 3, 2020 at 1:16 pm (1 month ago)

      Aw, same, SAME. Much love always for my Shana <3

      Reply
  2. Harlow Skalwold
    March 3, 2020 at 12:56 pm (1 month ago)

    I want to do one too! I will base it off yours…

    1. My mother served us plain Cheerios every morning for so long that I couldn’t eat them for years after moving out of the house. Now I will only eat the seasonal pumpkin spice Cheerios.

    2. I believe cars are deeply flawed machines meant to suck up your money and destroy the environment because of precedents set by Henry Ford that continue to this day. I saw 3 Teslas on the road on my way to work today and finally felt a little relief.

    3. I love sweets, especially chocolate. Because of my fructose malabsorption issue, I often feel deprived.

    4. Until I was 13 I slept with my stuffed animals carefully positioned around me on my headboard to protect me while I slept.

    5. I am terrified of speaking in front of crowds, and I’m not great on camera. One of the most difficult things was dealing with 3 days of filming for the Oddities tv show.

    6. I have wanted to take singing lessons since college.

    7. I sometimes break out in dance in the middle of the grocery store if a groovy song comes on.

    8. My best dreams are about the zombie apocalypse, which I suppose most people would consider nightmares.

    9. My favorite number is 8.

    10. I very rarely consider the psychology of shapes and I am bad at composition in my art.

    11. I prefer to wear black, but purple is actually my favorite color.

    12. I played with robots and plush Ewoks as a child. I once cut my sister’s Barbie’s hair into a punk rock/Cyndi Lauper hairdo and colored it in with marker.

    13. I really want reincarnation to be a thing.

    14. My favorite scent is lilac.

    15. My least favorite smell is coconut tanning lotion.

    16. I can’t stand loud chewers. Mouth noises make me upset and angry and I want to punch the person causing me such distress.

    17. I find it endearing when older ladies or diner waitresses call me honey or sweetheart or darling. Conversely, I hate it when men call me those things, because they should know better.

    18. Things I like to do best: stay up too late researching something random, nap with a cat on top of me, get absorbed in creating my art, and lounging (with a cat).

    19. I have strong opinions about people who drizzle ketchup all over their french fries before they even start eating them. Fries should be dipped. My favorite ketchup is from Portland, OR. I have had friends ship me bottles of it.

    20. I have no desire to eat human meat, ever. But I do think getting regular blood transfusions from young, healthy adults is a great idea. I would also get a vampire facial if I had a disposable income. I have no idea if they work, but I love ghoulish beauty.

    Reply
    • S. Elizabeth
      March 3, 2020 at 1:01 pm (1 month ago)

      OMG I LOVE THIS SO MUCH. Thank you for sharing a little bit about yourself! Purple is my favorite color, too :)

      Reply
      • Harlow Skalwold
        March 3, 2020 at 1:14 pm (1 month ago)

        I really loved learning all these little odd things about you, and it was such a good outline to riff off of!
        Also, purple is amazing.

        Reply
  3. liz t
    March 3, 2020 at 1:13 pm (1 month ago)

    I feel 17 HARD. We have tons of clients who are elderly women and I love it so much when they call me “sweetie” or “dear” over the phone. I also find myself trying to go the extra mile for them… which I didn’t realize until just now… Starting therapy next week is going to be INTERESTING!

    Reply
    • S. Elizabeth
      March 3, 2020 at 1:15 pm (1 month ago)

      Ahahaha! I’m one of those people who saves little tidbits like this up for my therapist, so by the time I get there, I have a list of things to talk about and we’re not sitting around in weird, uncomfortable silence.

      Reply
      • liz t
        March 3, 2020 at 1:24 pm (1 month ago)

        i’ll have to get a note pad for specifically these things, ha.

        Reply

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