Krampus, after a long day of chaining and beating children and whisking them away to a fiery lair, just wants to wrap up business, clock out, and spend time with their sweetie.
Krampus doesn’t like to bring their work home with them. All that violence and fear? That’s an act for the children. In truth, they’re a gentle lover. Dancing? They’re up for it. Netflix and chill? Baby, you know they’re down for that, too. You’re Krampus’ main squeeze after all, and they really just want to make you happy.
When you gaze lovingly at your babe’s wicked horns and cloven hooves, run your fingers over their cold, iron chains, and stroke their furry pelt, you don’t find their monstrous appearance repellent in the slightest. In fact, you realize that your sweetie–that magnificent beast in the other room mixing you a cocktail–is terrific outfit inspiration!
See below for three Krampus-inspired ensembles full of furred bags, split-toe shoes, claws, chains, switches, and demonic visages, perfect for dancing the night away, terrorizing the neighborhood, or an evening of sexy-times shenanigans with your own unholy Yule Lord.
Today at Haute Macabre I write about enigmatic artist, Colette Saint Yves, whose dreamy, disquieting works have captivated me since those early, heady days of Tumblr.
(You might laugh, but Tumblr was sort of a revelation for me, and it’s brought some of my most beloved friends into my life, as well!)
Krampus–the anthropomorphic goat-man-ghoul hybrid sent to terrorize delinquent children into holiday submission; that baddie from old Alpine folklore turned pop culture icon for the dark and disillusioned–that guy is a Yuletide favorite and truly a beast for the ages.
Hundreds of years ago, I have no doubt that kids were just as wretchedly bratty as they are today and required the threat of Krampus’s demonic birch rod beatings, or being stuffed in a wicker basket and dragged off to hell–and I suspect adults and parents thought it was hilarious then, too.
I daresay one hundred years from now our needs for such menacing admonitions and the humorous good times derived thereof will not have changed.
Though the necessity for Krampus’s particular brand of wintertime tough-lovin’ remains unchanged, his classic horned, cloven-hooved, Gene Simmons-tongued appearance may have altered over the years. A quick Google search returns countless antique, vintage, and old-timey imagery. But, as those clickbait-y, non-articles about our favorite 1980s child-star-turned-meth-addicts tease us–“what does he look like now?”
Below is a diverse collection of contemporary Krampus portraiture from today’s artists with a keen eye aimed toward the dark and twisty, with details both horrific and hysterical. Though these recent interpretations range in tone from colorful and surreal to shadowy and mystical, it’s clear that Krampus, that monstrous creature of Germanic lore, remains a classic muse.
Chris Buzelli‘s fantastical landscapes are populated by all manner of mythological creatures; it only stands to reason that Krampus would make an appearance in these magical realms. Pictured here, we have the kidnapped and tortured children doing Krampus’ work for him in traveling to his fiery lair.
Pick up the pace kids, Krampus is getting hungry!
The nocturnal woodlands of Andy Kehoe‘s paintings provides a suitably creepy background for a blackened and solitary Krampus, leering at us through the mists. If Krampus swats a naughty child in the forest and no one is around to hear, does Krampus care?
Bizhan Khodabandeh‘s slick, stylized Krampus is a retinal burning treat and calls to mind an otherworldly, towering bit of folk-horror. Krampus from Dimension X, where it will not surprise you to learn that children also behave badly there.
Chet Zar‘s unsettling imagery, reminiscent of decayed and diseased flesh, and which explores the darker recesses of the human consciousness, is the stuff of fevered nightmares. That jolly red hat with the jingle bell at the tip somehow makes this the most horrific Krampus of all.
Luke Ramsey’s complex, freehand line work Krampus calls to mind an infernally unsolvable maze. As your eyes follow these finely detailed, demonic doodles upward, you meet Krampus’ own gaze. You’re not sure but you think he looks bored; there’s a sense of ennui, of malaise here. But the crying children in his backpack tell another story, so you quickly drop your eyes and mind your own damn business.
As with most of his work, Tom Bagshaw‘s Krampus is haunting and classically stunning. It’s also scary as hell. NOPE.
Nicoletta Ceccoli‘s lush, fairytale art is the stuff of dreams. As in–this could, quite literally be something I’ve dreamed about: “So there was Krampus, right? But he was, like, wearing a …coral onesie? And sitting in a tiny chair? It was maybe in my grandmother’s house because I recognize that weird blue wallpaper?” Even the child here looks as though she may realize she is in a dream; there is a sense of struggle, but the urgency has passed and she is just waiting to inevitably wake up.
Josh Agle–or SHAG–is well known for his quirky, retro, wildly colored art. With its mod sensibilities and strange sense of hip cocktail party time hedonism, the dark Yule-lord Krampus seems a peculiar subject for this artist to tackle–which for me, makes it one of my favorites featured here. I’d like this to be a peppy postcard that Krampus sends to concerned parents: “wish you were here”–or perhaps a calling card–“see you next year!
I’ll confess a fondness for Ryan Heshka‘s surreal, pulp-inspired artwork full of tough broads in high heels, outlandish landscapes, and giant sci-fi monsters. In “Consenual Krampus,” we get a taste of some adult-themed Krampus business–and am I alone in wanting to see more of this sort of thing? Some Krampusrotica, if you will? No? Ok, then.
UPDATE 12.4.21: I was not aware of this wicked spectacle-infused heavy metal frontman stunner of a Yule lord at the time that I put this piece together, but now that I know of its existence, how could I not include the dark drama of BROM’s Krampus???
Oh! And of course, you’d love to know how to wear some Krampus-centric artwork? I anticipated that you would and put together a casual and not at all over-the-top ensemble for you. Unfortunately, as with many of the ensembles that I put together at this time, that site closed down and took all of my details with it. So I hope you will use this as a springboard for inspiration! And not, you know, as a reason to yell at me!
(This article was originally posted at Dirge; the site is no longer active.)
Psssst…! Over at Haute Macabre right we have an exclusive preview of the new scented offerings from Bloodmilk Exquisite Corpse Chapter III, in collaboration with Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab and Three Ravens Co., and which will be launching in oh…about five minutes at 3PM est this afternoon 🖤
Textile artist and knitwear designer Caitlin Ffrench is an incredible inspiration for me and such a lovely human, as well. I am thrilled that our interview is up over at Haute Macabre this week, and I can’t wait for you to read it (You don’t even have to be a knitter to fall under her spell!)
Bonus material and behind the scenes peeks: In preparation for this piece I did a great deal of research…in the form of knitting up several of Caitlin’s patterns. What! That’s totally research, and I won’t hear differently. Each one of them worked up simply and smoothly, with no issues, but with enough detail to keep me interested and engaged. I can recommend her patterns without hesitation (and as I matter of fact, I am knitting another one right now!) I have included links to each of the ravelry pages if you are interested in creating any of these gorgeous knits yourself.
A gathering of death related links that I have encountered in the past month or so. From somber to hilarious, from informative to creepy, here’s a snippet of things that have been reported on or journaled about in or related to the Death Industry recently.
But the dark embraces everything:
shapes and shadows, creatures and me.
–Rainer Maria Rilke
Track list:
Hungry Face by Mogwai | If I Had a Heart by Fever Ray | So Close (feat. Arnór Dan) by Ólafur Arnald | Peeling Off The Layers by Wildbirds & Peacedrums | Far From Any Road by The Handsome Family | St. James Infirmary by Mark Lanegan & Greg Dulli) | Into The Black by Chromatics | Civilian by Wye Oak | Burn It Down by Daughter | Fuel to Fire by Agnes Obel | Serpents by Sharon Van Etten | No Rest For The Wicked by Lykke Li | Born To Die by Lana Del Rey
Interested in learning more about the artist and her dark, haunted inspirations? I had the privilege of interviewing Sara last year–peek here for some spooky insights!
I’ll sum up November quickly: I fretted a lot, I feasted too much, and I miss my sisters desperately, having had them near me for one wonderful week, and now they gone. Other than that, I got, as they say, nothin‘.
Instead I’ll tell you about some of my favorite things this month!
Pumpkin Spice Snake Oil from Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab’s Halloween release. I received this one after I’d already written some Weenie reviews over at Haute Macabre, but this would have made top of my list, if I had sniffed it at the time! Snake Oil, a blend of “exotic Indonesian oils sugared with vanilla” is a gorgeous and intoxicating, but fiercely potent brew and– as much as I love it–I have to be careful wearing it around sensitive noses and sometimes it even gives me a fit of sneezes! This pumpkin spice version is tempered by some pumpkin spices that I can’t even really discern, but it definitely makes for a kinder, gentler Snake Oil. I have been wearing it every day for the last week. And…it’s still in stock! I would advise you to grab it while you can.
Graces elixir from Sister Spinster. I own several potions and elixirs from Sister Spinster; I love the concept of encouraging self-care and empowerment through wild blooms and floral abundance. Do they work? Well, I don’t rightly know. I like to think so? I can tell you that a dropperful of Graces, with its mixture of chamomile, skullcap, linden, lemon balm, lavender and violet leaf infused in brandy with local honey, and taken with intent when I am feeling anxious, nervous, stressed or in the dark….well, it makes me feel like I am taking a moment to collect myself. And sometimes I think that’s either all you need, or it’s the first in a series of steps needed to get you beyond your anxiousness.
Lip Balms from Pollux and Key: I have the Cocoa Mallow Balm and the Chamomile Hibiscus Balm. I ordered these on a whim because I loved the unique combination of ingredients they presented (and the fact that these are non-minty lip balms, although if that’s your thing, they have a peppermint one, too.) After using them though, I tell you what–these are utterly lovely. They are slippy and soothing, not at all chalky or waxy, and the fragrances is very, very subtle. I can catch a tiny whiff of it, and whatever it is, it’s pleasant, but it’s barely there at all. And they seem to be flavorless, which I also love. I only wish they they had a version packaged in a tube; the tins are very pretty, and I don’t mind using my fingers, but a tube would work better for travel and I’d really like to throw one of these in every single tote bag I own (and that’s a lot of tote bags.)
The Spellbound leggings from Black Milk, which I nabbed as soon as I saw my stunning friend Maika wearing them, and which have quickly become my favorite things ever. I had a pair of leggings that I’d gotten from Black Milk a few years back and never wore because I thought they were uncomfortable…it turns out I just needed to wear a larger sizer. Who knew!
Speaking of which, isn’t this some marvelous advice with regard to friendship? “…meet those that recognize the wound within the both of you.” Indeed, that is exactly what I try to do! This very excellent suggestion comes courtesy Ask Baba Yaga: Otherworldly Advice for Everyday Troubles by Taisia Kitaiskaia. I cannot recommend this strange little book full of wild, wise, and wonderful counsel highly enough.
In making up for the fact that our mattress is approx. 200 years old, I may have created a monster bed, one that drains my productivity and diminishes my number of waking hours. Between the Ghost and buckwheat pillows and the insanely high thread count sheets and the fluffiest, coziest duvet, I’m really just trapped in here, forever. The crowning glory? The eyeball-searing William Morris “seaweed” linen set. I had a tough time finding a website that would ship to the U.S. but if you are one of the people whose gaze has not yet fallen on this thing and you are interested in napping on it yourself, you can find it, and a few other William Morris patterned designs at Amara.
Lastly, if you like whiskey and you have a spare $70, I have stumbled upon a terrific one for you: Nikka Coffee Grain Whisky. I am definitely not an expert in such matters, but it is described as having “rich oak” and “marmalade” notes. Whatever that means? A lot of reviewers note that it’s a bit on the sweet side, and normally I am not a fan of dessert-y type drinks, but this is delicious.