How to Wear a Date with Krampus
categories: how to wear, not a fashion blog
I have a theory. Just hear me out here, okay?
Krampus, after a long day of chaining and beating children and whisking them away to a fiery lair, just wants to wrap up business, clock out, and spend time with their sweetie.
Krampus doesn’t like to bring their work home with them. All that violence and fear? That’s an act for the children. In truth, they’re a gentle lover. Dancing? They’re up for it. Netflix and chill? Baby, you know they’re down for that, too. You’re Krampus’ main squeeze after all, and they really just want to make you happy.
When you gaze lovingly at your babe’s wicked horns and cloven hooves, run your fingers over their cold, iron chains, and stroke their furry pelt, you don’t find their monstrous appearance repellent in the slightest. In fact, you realize that your sweetie–that magnificent beast in the other room mixing you a cocktail–is terrific outfit inspiration!
See below for three Krampus-inspired ensembles full of furred bags, split-toe shoes, claws, chains, switches, and demonic visages, perfect for dancing the night away, terrorizing the neighborhood, or an evening of sexy-times shenanigans with your own unholy Yule Lord.
Zimmerman Empire Sueded Dress $750 // La Perla Lace Briefs $75 // Gold Leather T-Straps $74.99 // Alexander McQueen Fur Clutch $2400 // Kenneth Jay Lane Gold Link Necklace $365 // Julie Aylward Venice Ring $250 // Tessa Metcalfe Claw Ring $760 // Saint Laurent Lace Scarf $375 // Tom Ford Black Orchid $75-$165 // Ciaté London X Olivia Palermo Nail Collection $24
Samuji Black Tsula Sweater $330 // Paige “Edgemont” skinny jeans $249 // Blush Smolder Retro Brief $38 // Stella McCartney “Falabella” faux fur shoulder bag $1,260 // KD2024 Claw Onyx and Silver Double Ring $891 // Formula X KVD Nail Polish $13 // Arthemis Stretch Bodice $850 // Maison Martin Margiela Split Toe Wooden Tabi Boot, $990 // Talon Earrings by MillarJewellery $116.17 // Blackbird The Wendol perfume $88 // Burialground Broomstick necklace $80
Bouchra Jarrar Front Zip Dress $1,160 // Else Petunia Fitted Slip w/ Removable Suspenders $175 // Chelsea Paris “Adile” caged cutout leather ankle boots $645 // Versace Leather shoulder bag $1,150 // Unearthen Mini Spectra Ring $230 // Alexander McQueen Harness Skull Ring $415 // Pamela Love Silver Talon Cuff $1,250 // Silver Spoon Attire Velvet Over-Sized Bow Headband $300 // LUSH Lust perfume $16-$40 // MAC eyeshadow $16 “Dark Desires”
(This article was originally posted at Dirge; the site is no longer active.)