Let me get this off my chest right at the beginning. I have 0% will power. If I want to have popcorn for dinner, I can’t fob myself off with a more nutritious option and tell myself to wait it out and eat a bowl of popcorn during the weekend. That won’t work for me. Chances are I will eat the salad and the small portion of whatever healthful protein du jour AND I will just end up eating the popcorn later that night anyhow. I have learned it is just easier to give in to my baser cravings and get it out of my system.
Also: I am slow. I am maybe one of the slowest moving people in the world. Slow to reach a decision, slow to act on that decision, interminably slow to carry out that decision. I remember as a child, my mother on more than one occasion, shouting at me to hurry up and “get in the car/get to the dinner table/ get out of bed, Sarah GOD SARAH YOU’RE SLOWER THAN MOLASSES”. It’s true. And I have not gotten any faster 30 years later.
I can also tell you that rewarding myself for goals met is not something that works for me. That bottle of perfume? I want it now. It won’t wait til I’ve lost 5 or 10 pounds. Chances are I have already ordered it and it is setting on my shelf and I am wearing even while I am typing this out. I’ve probably already ordered another bottle of something else.
Excuses and personality defects aside, with regard to my weight loss for weirdos progress, I will report that I have lost 12 pounds. Now, you might be thinking “huh…12 pounds in 5 months doesn’t really sound like fantastic progress” and you’d probably be right. But to be perfectly honest, I am not really going at this in a hardcore type of fashion and I’ve got no deadline and I’ve no desire to buy new, smaller clothing every month, so why not take it slow?I am not about to give up my Monday night popcorn-for-dinner and my glasses of wine during the week. I’m not in it to torture myself, I mean really.
But as to the changes I am making and the aspects of deblobbening that I am getting right:
- I purchased a fitbit. Yeah, they are gimmicky. No they are not absolutely necessary. But I hate to exercise, and ANYTHING that gets me to move around a little bit more is worth it to me. I work a desk job from home, so in addition to all the activity I am not getting from a more physical job, it’s not like I even have to walk to and fro in a building to interact with co-workers or walk to my car to drive to lunch or anything like that. I am in my chair in front of a computer in more or less the same position for 10+ hours. The fitbit would have you believe that your daily goal is 10K steps a day and I was rather horrified to find out that with no modifications to my daily schedule, I was lucky if I hit 2K. Now – armed with the fear of a wee gadget sticking its tongue out at me – I find myself infinitely more motivated to find small, strange ways to exercise during the day. My work day has basically turned into a 10 hour long extended peepee dance. But I am surpassing the 10K step goal and I figure hey – whatever kind of movement it is, no matter how ridiculous it looks, it’s got to be better than none at all, right?
- Walking (or any sort of exercise, I suppose)with a friend. I have made a commitment to meet a friend twice a week for walking and catching up. On Wednesday evenings we meet at the local library and walk around the pond, about 2 miles or so. On Saturday mornings we meet for a 6AM beach walk which amounts to about 4.5 miles. Sometimes we do a healthy meal after, sometimes not, but the food isn’t really the point – it’s that we are getting out of the house, we are getting some exercise, and having a friendly human encounter. I suspect that last part might be especially important for me, since other than my live-in paramour, this might be the only person I see all week long.
- Finding some exceptional exercise music. I’ll admit, so far it’s just one album, but it works perfectly for me. Daft Punk Alive 2007. In the meantime, you have got to fill me in on what you are listening to now whilst running or walking or crossfitting or milking cows or hoisting cadavers into the crematory or whatever you do. I need variety.
- Having some meals planned. I am lucky enough to live with someone who will, for the most part, eat – and like – any homecooked meal that I put in front of him… so when cooking for myself, I automatically know that the other person I am living with will eat it as well, with no complaint. This makes meal planning for me so much easier than other folks might have it. Some recipes I have found myself preparing quite often and for which I can personally vouch for their tastiness: black bean soup, chana masala, tofu stir fry with peanut sauce and “zoodles” & sauce. For breakfasts it’s been steel cut oats with a dollop of skyr and fruit or toast and peanut butter if I am feeling lazy. Lunches have been tuna salad or avocado-egg salad or canned soups, and a quick cucumber tomato salad. Simple stuff. It is during the weekends that I encounter trouble, as we are usually visiting friends or family and that usually means dinners out and cocktails and I don’t always make the smartest choices. Especially after the cocktails.
I am not one for before and after pictures and anyhow, I really don’t look any different. So you’re not going to see that sort of thing here. I have, however, managed to wriggle my rump into my first ever pair of skinny jeans. Oh, how I railed against skinny jeans! For years I wouldn’t even acknowledge their existence. They were the devil’s denim, I thought, and would never darken the door of my wardrobe. I’m afraid I was wrong. And I am wearing them today. And they are amazing. You can only see my face in this picture, but I promise you, I am wearing them.
Also, amongst other things that wouldn’t serve as a proper weight loss reward because instant gratification is not soon enough for me, I am wearing this oversized cross tee shirt from Aakasha (recommendation courtesy Tenebrous Kate!) and it is pretty great. One of my current favorite pieces.
I hope to report back in the next four months with similar results, but in the meantime, I would love to hear what’s been working for you, health and fitness-wise? Where do you run into problems? How do you reward yourself? And etcetera. I am nosy and want to know all of your secrets!
BONUS: The ultimate after death workout experience!
Zombies, keep your bodies fit! Never stop training!
SUPER EXTRA BONUS: A lovely lady friend recommended the 7 minute workout to me, stating that it is quite remarkable, it has incredible effects and it is perfect for weirdos!
Weirdos? That’s US! Let’s do it!
“In 12 exercises deploying only body weight, a chair and a wall, it fulfills the latest mandates for high-intensity effort, which essentially combines a long run and a visit to the weight room into about seven minutes of steady discomfort — all of it based on science.”
P.S. She also said it is quite unpleasant, but let’s do it anyway!