“What fresh fuckery is this?” by Félix Armand Heullant

I try to hold kindness and compassion in my heart for people and their foibles and foolishness, but you know, sometimes it’s all too much and I have to make a complaint. To whom? I don’t know. I guess it’s sort of an “open letter to the universe” type of thing. I used vent these snarks on Facebook, but I think more people read my facebook posts than my actual blog here and I have to keep up appearances that I’m, you know…a nice person. Which means that I must keep myself in check on the old book of face, and instead, funnel my grievances and gripes over here. I guess it has become a bit of a secret spot for such things. Let’s keep it between us, eh?

Ok, so two things currently driving me nuts…

I am the first person to say, “OH I HATE DRAMA,” but you’d best believe that, when there’s some internet drama going on, especially in the outer rings of my social circles, I am all over that spectacle. My gripe has to do with people who can’t express their drama eloquently, articulately, and with proper punctuation. Your run on sentences take me, as a reader trying to suss out the complexities of narrative and timelines, right out of your epic breakup saga with the person you only met a week ago! I’m over here trying to pay thoughtful attention to your crazed rants and your breathtaking public meltdown, but your tenuous grasp on how written language works is a very real hurdle. Now, I am not trying to be a grammar dictator; I mean, a few missing commas isn’t the end of the world or anything–especially in the heat of the moment when you’re pounding out your desperate diatribe about how everyone’s out to get you, or whatever–but you know you can go back and edit that shit, right? Your Facebook posts are editable, people. YES. They totally are. Don’t leave your misspelled ravings on your facebook wall to haunt me, in perpetuity, as people continue to comment on your mess (probably with unsolicited advice or to call you hateful names) and I continue to receive notifications about it.

Thing number two. The buyers on all these “sell your old stuff” sites like depop or poshmark or tradesy or eBay. They are really kind of awful, and that’s why I no longer sell on these sites. I just can’t deal with their nonsense. They’re either asking you to knock down the price on your $300 piece of jewelry, to like, $7, and I mean…that’s pretty nervy, you know? I would be too embarrassed to even think of asking something like that, but these folks are shameless. And if they’re not trying to get you to sell them something for pennies, they are asking you to hold an item, because maybe they don’t get paid until next week and they don’t want someone to snap it up from underneath them in the meantime. So, you take the listing down, you reach out to the person a week later to get them to pay…and they ignore you repeatedly, and you realize this jerk just wasted your time and potentially cost you some money. And because the community in which you sell the certain items that you have to sell is pretty small, sellers talk amongst themselves, you find out that it’s always the same scammy, scummy people who are trying to talk you down in price or get you to hold items for them and then disappear, or who come back later and say they can’t afford it because grandma died or whatever and it’s like goddamn, how many grandmas you got there? Because your story is starting to sound very familiar (and boring– get a new story, FFS.)
So, no more depop, etc., for me. Thanks a lot, cheapskates and ghosters!

Want some more complaints? I can help with that.
Previously: A List of Reasons For Which I Have Unfollowed People On Facebook 

Add Comment

Your comment will be revised by the site if needed.