Doing: attending birthday parties in public places –the idea of which which will never fail to freak me out because: people & conversation. However, I always forget that in this particular group there are also people like me who are similarly freaked out, which is great because misery (and anxious weirdos) love company. We always seem to find each other, and a corner to cozy into, cringing away from the crowd. Look at this guy! It’s a Mexican Salamander, or Axolotyl. He is a cold-blooded, live-in friend of my corner-companion and her husband. These are the kinds of things we talk about.
Reading: Beautiful Darkness, a thoroughly charmingly illustrated graphic novel that is savage and unsettling and not at all what I expected. Although I kind of figured out what I was in for by the second or third page. Beauty, also illustrated by Kerascoet and is supposedly an “immersive”, “dark, feminist parable”; I’ll know more tonight, after I’ve settled in with it! And lastly (well, not really lastly, I’ve got stacks and stacks of unread books) is Wylding Hall, by Elisabeth Hand. Here’s the synopsis–doesn’t it sound dreamy?
“After the tragic and mysterious death of one of their founding members, the young musicians in a British acid-folk band hole up at Wylding Hall, an ancient country house with its own dark secrets. There they record the classic album that will make their reputation but at a terrifying cost, when Julian Blake, their lead singer, disappears within the mansion and is never seen again. Now, years later, each of the surviving musicians, their friends and lovers (including a psychic, a photographer, and the band s manager) meets with a young documentary filmmaker to tell his or her own version of what happened during that summer but whose story is the true one?”
Knitting:Terpsichore Street, by Romi Hill. This pattern gave me extreme agita around this time last year, and I eventually called it quits and felt like a failure and moped about it for the next year. Well, this year I am attempting it again, and I am seeing that a great many of my issues are directly related to misreading the pattern, misinterpreting the instructions, and making assumptions that aren’t accurate. So far progress is slow–we’re talking a glacial pace– but I am reading and re-reading and correcting myself every time I go astray. Except for a potentially huge mistake that I made at the beginning…but I think that’s only going to affect the size of the finished shawl, and I’m over that. I’ll just give it to one of my tinier friends. Problem solved!
Oh, and what’s that, you ask? Another book? Yes, you caught me. This one is Death’s Summer Coat by Brandy Schillace and touches on a subject close to my heart: death awareness and death acceptance.
“Death is something we all confront―it touches our families, our homes, our hearts. And yet we have grown used to denying its existence, treating it as an enemy to be beaten back with medical advances.
We are living at a unique point in human history. People are living longer than ever, yet the longer we live, the more taboo and alien our mortality becomes. Yet we, and our loved ones, still remain mortal. People today still struggle with this fact, as we have done throughout our entire history. What led us to this point? What drove us to sanitize death and make it foreign and unfamiliar?
Schillace shows how talking about death, and the rituals associated with it, can help provide answers. It also brings us closer together―conversation and community are just as important for living as for dying. Some of the stories are strikingly unfamiliar; others are far more familiar than you might suppose. But all reveal much about the present―and about ourselves.”
Listening:Daughter, Not To Disappear. I am happy to report that Daughter’s second album sounds very much like the first, which is to say: lush, beautiful sadness. Hushed, desolate dream-pop. Heartbreak and doom and gentle glooms. Perfection.
Wearing: Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab’s Mother Ghost, from their Crimson Peak line {a cold, sheer white musk gleaming with black orchid, benzoin, labdanum, and blackened amber, and embraced by white rose, tea leaf, and vanilla flower.} This is a pearly, translucent delicate scent that reminds me very much of my lost (discontinued) love, the delicate, gauzy, Antique Lace.
Anticipating: The release of our Occult Activity Book! Co-conspirator Becky Munich and I have been working with several splendid several artists and writers to conjure forth this wicked little book …and for true believers we have concocted a Deluxe pack which includes the 24-page Occult Activity book, two 5×7 color prints and a sticker by contributing artist Casket Glass Studio .
We should have them available for purchase sometime in the beginning of February, but be forewarned! Only 250 of these marvels will be printed, so you’ll want to nab them while they are available on this plane of existence!
Bonus! Another one from the cutting room floor, from How To Wear A Séance over at Dirge. That dress is utterly killing me.
West Coast-based artist Caitlin McCarthy illustrates pale, spectral beauties, languid of limb and with milky, blind eyes belying the secrets and mystical knowledge they possess. Visions of dark, dreamy romanticism, these sibyls and seers gaze impassively at the viewer, their delicate bones and bloodless visages hinting at a bygone era of melancholy and loss, and of mysteries glimpsed from beyond the veil.
Though among her inspirations she’s noted a fascination with otherworldly pursuits–the occult, fairy tales, uncanny oddities, etc.–and this clearly includes a fondness for Victorian aesthetic and Gothic sensibilities, there are also whispers of the natural world to be found in McCarthy’s work. The quartz crystals, lush flora, and thorny crowns paired with and adorning these spellbinding enchantresses suggest more than a few earthly adorations, as well.
Caitlin graciously gave of her time for a brief Q&A; read more and learn of this artist’s love for the odd and the unusual and how the mystical and macabre manifests itself in her work.
Has art always been a passion for you? Can you tell us how you got started on this creative path and how it has lead to the work you are producing today?
I’ve always felt a pull to create, and I’ve been drawing for as long as I can remember. I loved that art gave me the magical ability to transport my imaginary world into something physical and real. I kept drawing through childhood and into my adult life. Eventually I became tired of working at a coffee shop and decided to go to art school. I graduated a few years ago with a BFA in studio art and was lucky enough to get a job in a creative field. I’ve been blessed to have family, friends, and teachers in my life that have supported and encouraged me to continue creating and find my own artistic voice.
Your Tumblr blog and your Etsy site both mention that you find beauty in the odd and the unusual. Has it always been this way for you? When did you notice this curious appreciation and what forms did it take for you?
I would say I have always been drawn to magic, the unexplained, and the mysterious. When I was younger it was an attraction to fantasy, and as I got a bit older I began veering towards a darker aesthetic. As a teenager, I developed a love for dark music, black clothing, vampire novels, and cemetery walks. I like to think my taste and style have evolved, but I suppose I never really outgrew any of it. Things that are considered spooky or macabre inspire me. Perhaps it’s the idea that surrounding yourself with reminders of death will lessen the fear of it, or maybe it’s simply the aesthetic I find myself naturally drawn toward. I do my best to fill my life with the odd and the darkly beautiful and I channel this into my art, my style, my travels, and my home.
Your work appears mainly colorless, rendered in black and white, perhaps some shades of grey and the occasionally pale blushing pink background. The effect is delicate, nuanced–almost elegantly anemic. Can you speak to the muted tones and lack of color in your work?
In college I worked primarily in watercolor. After school I began working in comics and training as a colorist. I spent my days working on the computer, staring at screens glowing with vibrant colors. I have found my personal art began naturally drifting in an opposite direction. Drawing with graphite has become a bit therapeutic for me. I enjoy the act of using my hands to create something. After I’ve completed a drawing, sometimes I’ll add faint tones of color to match the personality of the piece. Other times, the piece just seems complete, so I’ll let it be. Color can be a very powerful tool, but I find that the lack of it can be as well. I use contrast, texture, and line to create the moods I wish to evoke with a piece. Absence of color lends itself well to creating the melancholy, eerie, or mystic atmosphere that I am trying to summon in my work.
Your portfolio is peppered with priestesses, seers, and witches; mystical females as well as an obvious interest in the occult feature heavily in your works. I would love to hear about your influences in this vein, and how they inform your art.
The occult is a pathway into exploring the paranormal, the unknown, and hidden secrets. I often draw the women I wish to be or that I admire. These are often strong women with magic in their eyes, ladies who are tapping into, channeling, or manipulating things we can’t even begin to understand. Instead of being passive, they are mastering and shaping the world around them. I find the idea of controlling what is believed to be uncontrollable both comforting and terrifying.
Can you give us a tour of your workspace? What sorts of objects do you surround yourself with ? What rituals do you use to put yourself in the mood to work?
My home is my shrine and my safe space. I do my best to surround myself with inspiration and things I love. I collect antiques, mourning memorabilia, taxidermy, old photographs, and religious paraphernalia. My walls are covered in work created by artists I admire, and I have more books than I have shelf space, or time to read. I do nearly all of my drawing at night when I’m home alone. I’ll settle in with a cup of tea or a glass of wine on my couch, and snuggle up with my two dogs. I like to turn on a favorite film or music, and the colder and stormier it is outside, the better.
Other than your Etsy shop, where can we find your work?
You can also find me on Instagram @CaitlinMcCarthyArt. I have found Instagram to be a very inspiring and supportive place for artists. I like to share photos of what I am currently working on, glimpses into my home and life, as well as information on sales and such. I’m also extremely fond of Pinterest. I find myself pinning inspirations nearly every day. It’s my virtual bulletin board, and if you’re interested in a peek inside of my head, it’s the place to go.
Step into the role of prophetess or seer for a moment, if you can. What do you predict for 2016 in terms of your art?
I had a lot of personal life-changing events last year and I’m curious to see how those will seep into my art. I really am hoping to challenge myself throughout 2016. I’d like to push myself to sketch more, and to share more on social media. I too often get caught up in thinking things aren’t good enough, and that is so toxic. I’d also love to participate in some group art shows. I think it is such an amazing way to meet and connect with other artists. Unfortunately, I am not able to predict the future, but I am excited to see what it may bring.
(This article was originally posted at Dirge; the site is no longer active.)
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David Bowie performs on stage in Brussels, on May 20, 1983. (AFP/Getty Images)
A gathering of death related links that I have encountered in the past month or so. From somber to hilarious, from informative to creepy, here’s a snippet of things that have been reported on or journaled about in or related to the Death Industry recently.
Today over at Dirge Magazine I discuss my own personal “yarnomancy”, and the ritual connectedness of crafting by hand with Morph Knitwear’s Angela Thornton.
One of my favorite pieces from Morph Knitwear is the huge, open knit Shapeshifter shawl. (And come to think of it, I probably should add that to my winter uniform!) Curious as to how one might style this wooly behemoth? I’ve a few suggestions for you, below. As always, click on the image to find more details on the items within each ensemble.
Laugh all you like, but when I get cold, I get cold. My fingernails turn blue and my butt cheeks become ice cubes (even under layers!) right around this time of year, and …wait for it…it’s only about 60 degrees.
It’s true. I am a total cold weather weenie. I have no idea how I lasted as long as I did in New Jersey when there were actual winters with snow and ice and never-ending Februaries. Ugh! I don’t even like thinking about it. It’s bad enough I still dream about it– about once a month or so, even though I have been back in Florida for four years now.
So when the temperatures dip into the arctic mid-50s, I cannot wear my go-to tee shirts and flip-flips, no way, no how. I’d freeze to death! I’ve developed a winter uniform that I pretty much wear every day starting this time of year…and the bonus is that it doesn’t even have a chance to get old, since our “winter” only lasts about a week!
The leggings are the high-waisted kind with some sort of shaping, so they’ve got a tiny bit of structure to them and it doesn’t feel like your flabby belly is flumping hither and yon under your pants. Which wouldn’t matter anyway because the tunic/tee dress is so gloriously voluminous. In any event, they are very, very comfortable and I would highly recommend this brand to people who do not find leggings abhorrent. There are no shoes pictured because well, let’s be honest. Where am I wearing shoes? I work from home and wear socks and never go anywhere. Shoes would be a lie.
Not pictured is something that should have made my 2015 best of list, but I think I was a little bit too embarrassed to mention it. I’ve been growing increasingly self-conscious about that bra-strap fat that oozes out and around my ladies’ support garments, so I’ve taken to wearing this wonderful thing. I’m not even going to type the name out. It’s too dumb. Click on the link and you will see what I mean. Despite the name though, I love it. I purchased four of them last year and they are by far–seriously– the best thing anyone has ever made, and I wear them under just about everything.
It is also winter perfume season! Time to slather myself with all of the woodsy, mysterious resins and incenses! Which most of these are, save for the Bergamoss, which is loamy and sweetly grassy and strangely enough there’s a weird bit of celery in there, too. It’s a nice break between the heavy scents I tend to wear this time of year.
If you were to look at me now, except for the occasional black dress (or, well — ok… A LOT of black dresses); you would never think, hey, that lady was a teenage goth. I’m fairly “normal” looking, whatever that means. I guess I mean I don’t much look like someone who is or has ever been into any sort of alternative lifestyle. Maybe if you spent some time talking with me without ever having seen me, you might begin to form some sort of goth-y impression due to various interests or whatever. But I’m not.
I’m really not.
I don’t have many photos of myself as a teen, but in them you would see a healthy looking 14 or 15 or 16 year girl old with frizzled, fried blonde hair, wearing a lot of heavy metal tee shirts. The hair was thanks to my mother; I don’t know why she wanted us blonde (“us”, for my sisters underwent the same surreal afternoon Sun-In treatments), but this resulted in a brassy mop and a lot of damaged, split ends.
The heavy metal tee shirts were black — that just goes with the territory, I suppose.
I read a lot of horror back then, as I do now. Ghost stories. Weird tales, tales of the unknown. That sort of thing. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t gravitate toward those stories. Ever since I saw Scooby Doo encounter his first vampire, I recall being fascinated by these things.
I was a loner and didn’t have any friends, really. At least any friends of my own. If our lunch periods intersected, I would eat with my sister and her friends, or my boyfriend at the time, but for the most part I was alone. I would hunt out a secluded corner (even if it meant on the floor, right next to the girl’s bathroom), settle in, pull out a book, and eat my lunch while no doubt getting crumbs in the pages.
While never actually a goth, I have always been a slob.
Back to the heavy metal music. It felt like at that time there was a division between people who listened to {Metallica, Megadeth, Anthrax, Suicidal Tendencies} and those who listened to things like The Cure, or Depeche Mode. As if you couldn’t listen to both, or all! Well, that’s teenage-think for you, I guess. I also remember thinking Morrissey was incredibly lame. Confession: I still do.
Anyway, when people refer to me or my writing or whatever in any sort of goth-y way, I get really uncomfortable. I feel like a giant fraud. I mean, I didn’t even listen to Disentegration until I was 35! (And to be honest, I really liked it.) Maybe I am a late in life goth, I don’t know. Maybe I have a secret goth heart.
My secret goth heart looks like Holly Hobby, if she wore all black, by the way.
My secret goth heart loves cemetery strolls and melancholy piano tinklings and all poetry –even the “bad” stuff. It loves thunderstorms and gloomy days and mossy castles and spooky tea parties and seances. It loves gothic romance and horror novels and antiquated ghost stories and scary movies in dark houses. It loves black lace and ruffles and sequins and dark florals and embellished bonnets and parasols. It loves dark art and darker music and the darkest humor.
20 years later it has still not unraveled the mystery of what makes Morrissey so great, though.
I need a word for I’m “really not goth at all but I am super into darkness”, just so I can set people straight. If I’m going to be labeled, let’s figured this out.
I am so excited to be working with a talented group of friends and artists on a thrilling collaborative project that we hope to make available early this year. My co-conspirator has begun releasing wee sneak peeks at some of the artwork included in our cooperative creative devil-baby so I thought I might follow suit and start generating some buzz (Beelze-buzz?) about the project!
I’m won’t say too much about it…I don’t want to spoil any surprises…but you’ve perhaps become aware of this adult coloring book/activity book trend, yes? Maybe you are intrigued, sure, you love the idea of soothing zen activities and mindfulness and all that sort of thing, but well…you’ve not jumped in because you’re not exactly all sweetness and light, are you? And these cutesy, cornball books currently on the market aren’t quite geared toward your darker sensibilities, eerie aesthetics and esoteric interests, are they?
Be patient for just a little while longer, friends. In the meantime, collect your demon-summoning colored chalks… you’re about to find your Zen moment on the dark side…
Occult activity book art {artist: Becky Munich}Occult activity book art {artist: Becky Munich}
A new mix; some personal favorites from 2015. I meant to get this done yesterday. Ah, well…procrastinating right into the new year. Nothing’s changed.
Track list: Adolescence, Brown Bird | Witches, Vaginapocalypse | Buried Alive, Hannah Rosa | Darkening Bell, Emily Portman | Cardamom, Weyes Blood | Enchanter’s Nightshade, Eternal Tapestry | Cruel Henry, The Hare And The Moon | All The Land Ablaze, Laura Cannell | Hellebore, Julia Kent | Mirage, Drift | STILLBIRTH, Alice Glass | STONEFIST, HEALTH | Grey Days, Chelsea Wolfe | Black Butterfly, King Dude | From The Pinnacle To The Pit, Ghost B.C. | Den Lille Piges Død, Myrkur | Open Road, Christian Mistress | The Alchemist, Karyn Crisis | Come Wander with Me / Deliverance, Anna von Hausswolff | What Kind Of Man by Florence + The Machine | Album: How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful | High By The Beach, Lana Del Rey | Prologue, Richard Moult | Apogee, Johanna Warren | Oracle, Paper Dollhouse | Tristesse Télescopique, Oskar Schuster
Photo credit: Annie Stephens (not actually knit in 2015)
2015 was, I’m afraid, the year of several knitting failures. At the tail end of 2014 I finished my most ambitious project to date, and for whatever reason, it’s been downhill ever since then. Fearing I would never be able to surpass that glorious achievement, I should have begun ramping up my skill levels by practicing and mastering new techniques; instead, I slowed down and went back to basics. Back to the beginning. 2015 was the year of a lot of socks and scarves, with the occasional simple shawl or cowl thrown in to keep things interesting.
Pattern: Spiral Cowl. Mostly knit in Portland and the picot edging was a pain…but it was so lovely when finished. Unfortunately this was lost in the mail and never reached it’s intended recipient. Major sad face.
Bitteroot. This pattern is an old friend, which I return to visit and re-work every few years. Sent to a lady who assures me she wears it as a personal talisman.
A basic entrelac scarf. My first foray into entrelac knitting, which, as it turns out, is not so difficult. Sent to a brilliant lady in the midwest who shares my intense love of perfumes.
Pattern: Boneyard shawl. Knit up with the remnants of some rustic yarn from Finland. Gifted to a generous, thoughtful woman who is also a cemetery ghost.
The pattern is Rose Red, but I’ve been calling it Strawberry Gothcake, because it looks like a little beret that Strawberry Shortcake’s gothiest gang member would wear. Sent away to a witchy friend on the other side of the world.
I also forget the name of the pattern for this blurry cowl. (Edit: it’s Ilean) Send away to the aforementioned perfumed lady.
Pattern: Hermione’s Everyday Socks. Sent away to a friend whose lovely hair reminded me of these mermaid colors.
Entrelac scarf, take two. Knitted for BGF, who was so taken with the first version and the plummy violet of the yarn.
Froot Loop socks in the most technicolor shade. Given away to an exquisite harpy who is half woman, half hair, all awesome.
I knit several pairs of these Dashing Mitts this year. One was lost in the black void along with the cowl above, one now keeps a friend up North safe and warm, and I have no idea wear the last pair ended up. Maybe I only knit two. Hm.
The Iris wrap, knit for a sweet lady whom I would love to join for tea and cocktails and foggy strolls one day.
It is also winter perfume season! Time to slather myself with all of the woodsy, mysterious resins and incenses! Which most of these are, save for the Bergamoss, which is loamy and sweetly grassy and strangely enough there’s a weird bit of celery in there, too. It’s a nice break between the heavy scents I tend to wear this time of year.
