A commenter recently asked if I would be doing a video showcasing my favorite things from the past year. While that particular roundup will manifest as a written piece here on the blog (because attempting to recall and articulate twelve months’ worth of treasures in a video format would result in a rambling mess of “oh! and this! and that! and I can’t believe I almost forgot about…”), it did plant the seed for something else: a shorter video featuring some of my recent acquisitions.
The timing feels particularly appropriate as we creep ever closer to the holiday season. We all know the peculiar anxiety of last-minute gift shopping – that frantic search for the perfect present when time is running out and inspiration seems to have abandoned us entirely. Perhaps you, too, have found yourself desperately scrolling through pages of suggestions that feel hopelessly generic, wondering how to find something special for that person in your life who prefers their gifts with a touch of shadow, a hint of mystery, or a whisper of the arcane.
I confess there’s also something deliciously self-indulgent about holiday shopping for others. You know the ritual: one for them, two for me. After all, how can we truly recommend gifts if we haven’t tested them ourselves? At least, that’s what I tell myself as I add items to my cart, justifying each purchase as “research” for future gift recommendations. It’s a slippery slope from “this would be perfect for so-and-so” to “but first, let me make sure it’s as wonderful as it seems.”
What began as a simple “look what I bought” video has transformed into something I hope you’ll find more useful: a carefully curated guide for those seeking gifts for their favorite shadow-dwellers. Whether you’re shopping for the friend who conducts beauty rituals by candlelight, the loved one who collects Victorian curiosities, or the companion who reads tarot while sipping botanical spirits, you’ll find something here to intrigue and delight. Let’s explore these treasures, shall we?
Passe-Partout necklace by Under the Pyramids, as seen worn in my YouTube video
Perpetua necklace by Flannery Grace Good, as seen worn in my YouTube video
While the items above represent my recent acquisitions, I would be remiss not to mention several perennial favorites that deserve a place in any gothic gift guide. These are the treasured pieces and reliable sources I return to again and again – items that may not have made it into the video (as they weren’t recent purchases) but which have proven themselves worthy additions to any dark soul’s collection. Some are single items that have earned their place through years of use, while others come from sellers and artisans whose work I’ve collected over time, each piece adding to a carefully curated cabinet of curiosities. Consider these time-tested additions as you plan your gift-giving this season…
Adornments & Artifacts:Flannery Grace Good creates bold, soulful jewelry pieces that speak directly to the heart – each creation reflecting not just masterful craftsmanship but the warm, wickedly clever spirit of an artist who pours genuine love and understanding into every piece. Under the Pyramids crafts portable magic in the form of talismans, amulets, and magical symbols, each piece handcrafted in recycled silver to serve as wearable vessels of power and intention.
Bloodmilk’s creations emerged from the liminal space of grief, beginning as personal talismans of psychic armor and evolving into a collection that weaves together Victorian spiritualism, dark romanticism, and profound personal narrative. Each piece serves as a physical reminder – of love, of self-reliance, of mourning, of the fleeting nature of beauty – crafted with an understanding that jewelry can be more than adornment; it can be a tangible manifestation of our most nebulous dreams. Alexis Berger’s hand-fabricated glass jewelry captures the luminous beauty of Art Nouveau and the Belle Epoch, with translucent lampworked beads creating pieces of timeless elegance, and Parrish Relics melds medieval grandeur with Pre-Raphaelite sensibilities in time-worn amulets that look as though they were unearthed from some ancient, flower-strewn cloister.
Garments & Sacred Spaces:Altar + Orb creates clothing and decor inspired by lunar mysteries, Victorian aesthetics, and the shadowy corners of nature, perfect for those who wish to wear their mysticism or create atmospheric spaces. I can personally attest that their sweaters are the best I’ve ever owned – managing to be both spooky and delightfully cozy, which is really the ultimate combination. Their blank books are equally stunning, providing the perfect vessel for recording all of your haunted thoughts and midnight musings.
Scent Stories:Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab has spent decades crafting literary and mythological inspiration into wearable art through their vast catalog of atmospheric perfume oils. From Lovecraftian horrors to Victorian gardens, their scents tell complete stories. Arcana Wildcraft combines ancient perfumery techniques with wild-harvested plants and magical practice, creating process-oriented perfumes infused with elements of alchemy and witchcraft. Seance Perfumes draws inspiration from Victorian spiritualism and the metaphysical realm, creating fragrances that bridge the rational and emotional worlds, while Poesie Perfume crafts scents inspired by literature, wanderlust, and the romance of bygone eras.
Literary Treasures: Victoria Mier’s Beyond the Aching Doorweaves Welsh mythology and Slavic folklore into a darkly romantic urban fantasy. Iris Compiet’s Faeries of the Faultlines provides a stunning artistic journey into otherworldly realms, while The Sphinx and The Milky Way shares Charles Burchfield’s fascinating naturalist observations. Una Maria Blythe’s Muses No More: Portraits of Occult Women illuminates the often-overlooked stories of female occultists throughout history. For those who walk in dreams, Naomi Sangreal’s Little Hidden Doors offers an artfully crafted guide to exploring one’s dream landscapes through a lens of creativity and compassion.
Sonic Spells:Chelsea Wolfe’s She Reaches Out To She Reaches Out To She provides a darkwave journey perfect for winter nights. This latest offering weaves together industrial rhythms, gothic rock, and ethereal vocals into a tapestry of transformation and self-discovery. Moving between haunting ballads and electronic storms, the album creates a world where vulnerability and strength coexist in shadow, making it an ideal soundtrack for those long dark nights of the soul.
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Here’s something different – today I’m reviewing a teapot. I know, I know. Usually, I’m here talking about perfumes that smell like goth California Raisins, or books about apocalyptic viruses, or art that makes me want to climb into the canvas and run away from civilization to spend my days floating on lily pads or whatever, but life is weird sometimes.
A few weeks ago, Umi Tea Sets reached out after seeing the YouTube Amazon Haul video I did last year (the one with a glass teapot in it, among other things), and they asked if they’d send me one of their fancy teapots, would I share my thoughts about it? While quite unexpected because, frankly, I don’t get a lot of brands reaching out to me to give me stuff, it was great timing because I had just broken the other teapot!
So I said sure, why not? But when it arrived, I realized I had no idea how to review a teapot. Books and perfumes? I can do that all day. But teapots? That took some contemplation.
There’s something deeply satisfying about a well-crafted vessel for daily rituals. This Thickened Glass Wooden Handle Teapot, with its clear borosilicate glass (I had to look that up! It’s basically extra-strong glass that won’t crack under temperature changes) and black walnut accents, has found its place in the small pockets of peace I’ve carved out of my workday. My mornings begin in the pre-dawn quiet, curled up on the sofa with a book and soft light. During lunch, I steal away for quick visits with the bumblebees in our garden. But it’s the 3 o’clock tea break that’s become something of an art form.
The practical stuff: it doesn’t drip when you pour (crucial), the handle stays cool even when the tea is scalding (also crucial), and it has these little filter grooves that catch all the tea bits so you’re not drinking leaves (extremely crucial). It can handle ridiculous temperature changes without exploding (apparently from -20°C to 150°C, which seems excessive but good to know).
Working from home means my afternoon tea ritual is sacred – a necessary pause in the day’s momentum where I can reset before diving back into emails and deadlines. Now, it includes watching oolong pearls spiral downward through crystal-clear glass or, on especially contemplative days, seeing a flowering tea ball slowly bloom into an underwater garden. I can already tell this is going to be one of those well-loved objects that collects memories along with daily use.
Every winter for the past few years, I’ve been baking these lovely cookies adapted from a Hildegard von Bingen recipe (if you’re curious, you can find it on Atlas Obscura). There’s something deeply satisfying about pairing a 12th-century mystic’s spelt and honey cookies with tea leaves dancing in contemporary glassware. I like to think Hildegard, who knew a thing or two about rituals, would appreciate how these small ceremonies punctuate our days, even centuries later.
Whether I’m steeping something fancy or just my regular afternoon blend, I appreciate using a tool that’s been thoughtfully designed for this purpose. It’s not about slowing down – I was born at a snail’s pace and have not shown any evidence that I am getting speedier over the years – but about making these stolen moments as beautiful as possible. Even in the middle of a workday, especially in the middle of a workday, we deserve a little everyday magic.
You can find this little teapot and many tea-related items and accessories on the Umi Tea Sets website.
(Full disclosure: The company sent me this teapot for free, but they didn’t tell me what to say about it. These thoughts are my own, fueled by possibly too many cups of hojicha while writing this.)
If you enjoy posts like these or if you have ever enjoyed or been inspired by something I have written, and you would like to support this blog, consider buying the author a coffee?
This writing originally appeared on the Haute Macabre blog on September 24, 2015.
The mysterious image above is one you are no doubt familiar with, thanks to countless Pinterest pins and Tumblr reblogs, and image-favoriting sites. I, myself, originally saw it on LiveJournal, approximately a million years ago when someone was using it as their user icon.
Are you aware of the identity of this glamorous enigma? I was not, for the longest time. Thanks to the sorcery of reverse image search functionality, however, the answer is easily found:
Virginia Oldoini, Countess of Castiglione, better known as “La Castiglione”, was a 19-century Italian aristocrat dedicated to a cult of personal beauty, and just as narcissistic and self-absorbed as a Kardashian or a Kayne. The Countess was known for her vanity, her eccentricism, and her flamboyant entrances in elaborate dress at the imperial court, and among the aesthetes of fin-de-siècle Paris, her life was the subject of admiring and almost obsessive curiosity. She was described as having long, wavy blonde hair, a delicate oval face, and eyes that changed color from green to an extraordinary blue-violet. Her own third personal assessment reads thusly: “The Eternal Father did not know what he was creating the day he sent her into the world.”
A humble woman, indeed!
Egomaniacal celebutante jokes and comparisons aside, however, it is undeniable that she was a woman with a singular vision (Ok, so it was of herself) and who was well ahead of her time in terms of owning it and executing it.
In 1856, The Countess began sitting for Mayer and Pierson, photographers favored by the imperial court. Over the next four decades, she directed Pierre-Louis Pierson to help her produce 700 different photographs in which she re-created the signature moments of her life for the camera. “These days it is not considered pathological for people to acquire hundreds of photographs of themselves in a lifetime. But in the middle of the 19th century you really, really had to try.” notes Sara Boxer in a New York Times article from 2000.
This “goddess of self-love” fluctuated between two states of mind – queen and melancholy recluse; she had herself photographed as a frowning nun, as Medea with a knife, the tragic heroine Beatrix, Judith entering the tent of Holofernes, a drowned virgin, Lady Macbeth sleepwalking, a courtesan flaunting her legs, Anne Boleyn, Goya’s “Maja”, a nurse to her dying dog and as a corpse in a coffin.
The 50 photographs that make up “La Divine Comtesse: Photographs of the Countess de Castiglione”, an exhibition in the Howard Gilman Gallery at the Metropolitan Museum of Art organized by Pierre Apraxine in 2000, are, as one reviewer notes, “… not lovely. They are bizarre.” And to watch the countess evolve from self-obsessed coquette to morbid mourner, to follow “her restless preening from youth to the brink of the grave”, is mesmerizing.
Virginia spent her remaining years in an apartment in the Place Vendôme, where she had the rooms fitted out in funeral black, blinds drawn, mirrors banished – presumably so as not to be confronted with her advancing age and loss of beauty. In the 1890s she began a brief collaboration with Pierson again, though her later photographs clearly show her “loss of any critical judgment”, possibly due to her growing mental instability. She wished to set up an exhibit of her photographs at the Exposition Universelle (1900), though this was never to happen. On November 28, 1899, she died at age sixty-two, and was buried at the Père Lachaise Cemetery in Paris.
And because I am nutty and can’t write about someone without wanting to dress them up myself (or even play dress up AS them), here are two interpretations of some somewhat modern-day Countess of Castiglione ensembles!
I was not super consistent in creating videos for my little channel in 2021 so I thought I’d squeak in a quick one before the year ended. This one I call: “look at all my sparkly shit!”
I have such a hard time sitting in front of a camera and thinking up things to talk about, thoughts to share, observations to make. Writing comes much more easily to me than speaking, and so I typically would record a bunch of footage, script out what I’d like to say, and then record some voiceover. But that’s all A LOT of work. And also, typically, a massive amount of overthinking. And while it will naturally end up being more organized and thoughtful and articulate, well…that’s not how I actually sound in conversation, now is it? And I did actually want some of these videos to be chatty and casual like you’re just having a little visit with your friend. So I hope that’s how this one turned out, and I would like very much to just get over myself and my self-consciousness and do more of these in the new year!
In the meantime, I hope you’ll have a watch and like and subscribe and comment and all that other stuff that you’re supposed to say when you make a YouTube video!
In this video, the following jewelers and shops are mentioned…
1. Amber Recycled Glass Vase from Terrain I’ve been obsessed with vases and vessels lately, and these handmade beauties are exactly what I’ve been looking for.
3. Pyrrha Andromeda 14K Gold Goddess Talisman I’ve been enamored of Pyrrha’s wax seal jewelry, full of myth and meaning, for the longest time. I recently peeped at their Goddess collection and it was tough to choose between the empowering energies of all of these beautiful talismans, but how could I not go with the dreamy, heart-following light of Andromeda?
4. Aesop Hwyl Eau de Parfum In looking for smoky, campfire scents for a friend recently, I stumbled across a review for Hwyl, which, according to the perfumer, was inspired by the calming nature of Japanese forests and “walking among the remarkable 300-year-old Hiba trees in an ancient Japanese forest and experiencing the country’s lush temple moss gardens.” The reviewer’s succinct summation describes the fragrance as “the one that smells like Totoro’s home.” Enough said. Gimme!
WOW! It’s been a long dang time since I have compiled a list of wished-for Hexmas gifts. WAIT, no it hasn’t! I made one just last year. How could I have forgotten that? Oh yeah, I know why: because last year, as we who can still joke about such things like to say, was approx. one thousand weeks ago.
I’m into the mustardy yellows now, which is a bit of a new thing to those who are used to my monochromatic palette, and overall I think in these lists you’ll see a bit more color than I’ve had a preference for in recent years. Interesting! What does it all mean? (Is a thing that I am sure no one is asking.) All in all, these lists today are a bit of a mishmash, none of it really connected or thematic… although I suppose the slippers and teas and bath related items would certainly point to a longing for calm and comfort and soothing experiences? And maybe a few sparks of magic for the kitchen and the home? Well, I guess let’s not try to overthink it.
It’s really just an opportunity to say, here’s some stuff I like! I don’t actually expect anyone to buy and gift these things for me; as I have noted before, there’s no one who can shop for you as well as you can. So I like to make these lists for myself every December, and then slowly treat myself to the things on them over the course of the winter and throughout the next year. And don’t get me wrong – I love it when people think of me enough to buy me a gift, and I am grateful…I just don’t ever expect that someone is going to read my mind and get me that thing that I really, really, want. And god forbid I actually tell them!
So here it is, then. The luxuries and fripperies I’ve got on my personal 2020, utterly selfish Hexmas wishlist. I’m not sure that these things will be of any interest to anyone but me, but perhaps you will find some last-minute gift ideas here, for either friends or family…or yourself. Happy Hexmas to us!
The full title of this post is actually How To Wear A Beautiful But Virtually Unobtainable Chanel Vanitas Scarf That I Stumbled Upon While I Was Noodling Around Online In A Brain-Fog On A Sunday Afternoon When I Had A Really Dreadful Cold, but I guess you can see why a title so onerous and pitiful wouldn’t generate that much excitement…
Designed by Karl Lagerfeld, created in honor of The Musée Maillol‘s exhibition “C’est la vie! De Caravage à Damien Hirst” (Such is life! From Caravage to Damien Hirst), the scarf features delicately crossed femurs reminiscent of Chanel’s famous quilting, and a playfully contemplative Gabrielle Chanel gazing upon a skull, as Hamlet once did. One thousand scarves were made, and “offered as gifts to friends of Chanel and of the Musée Maillol, the project being a way for the luxury House of Chanel to participate in the humor and lessons of wisdom apparent in this unique exhibition.” (via)
Of course, I’m a bit late to the party, having just seen this beautiful piece a decade later, sold out on an auction site. Never mind! We can always dream. And as part of that, a dreamy, early spring ensemble to celebrate exquisite, unprocurable accessories and the fleeting time available to us (because they’re exclusive and we are but mortals, dying from the very moment we are born) to appreciate them.
I can’t even remember the last time I put together a list of fripperies! I say, it’s been much, much too long.
The theme for this year’s Hexmas holiday wishlist is “Hexmas Sleepies”, I guess! These are a few things I have either been lusting over, or, I have purchased and highly recommend, and they all seem to fall into that category of “soothing balms for frizzled folks” and for wrapping up the day on a lovely, luxurious note, before bed.
1. Silk Ines pyjamas from Morpho and Luna. This moody floral pajama set is from Morpho and Luna’s 2017 collection and the design is apparently a modern interpretation of the mythology of Persephone and Demeter. For two whole years now I keep peeping at them but I haven’t been able to pull the trigger yet.
2. Unwind Your Mind. This is the book that ASMRtist Emma WhispersRed of YouTube just released and if you haven’t fallen asleep to the sounds of her brushing someone’s hair or perhaps her guided meditation with Tibetan singing bowls, you’re really missing out. My copy is sitting atop a stack of books as tall as I am, but I’ll get to it soon, I promise!
4. Hinoki Onsen Shizumi Luxury Bath Salts with Japanese cypress oil. These gorgeous bath salts are on my list as a “congratulations, you did it!” gift to myself, but I guess I haven’t done whatever must warrant doing because I still don’t have them. I will report back.
5. LUSH Sleepy Lotion At first sniff, you almost think this wonderfully purple lotion is going to be too sugary, but somehow it’s not. Sleepy is a lovely lavender whose sharp herbal edges have been tamed by rich and subtly sweet tonka, and trust me, you need the matching shower gel to go with this as well.
6. Parachute Turkish Cotton Waffle Robe. This robe is an INVESTMENT. It is the most incredible thing you will ever put on your body and I cannot sing its praises enough. If you have never ever before paid attention to anything I was trying to convince you of, hear me now: this robe is as luxurious as it is practical and you need it in your life.
7. Kindred Black Immortelle I have a few other offerings from Kindred Black and I am so impressed with the quality of the oils and the beauty of their packaging, and I feel like their immortelle oil belongs on my shelf (along with the jojoba, argan, and zdravetz, which I own –and love!–already.)
The Maison Francesco Scognamiglio Fall 2019 Couture collection, with its contrasting play between excess and restraint-the undulating satin, that see-through tulle, those rivulets of crystals and embellishments!–call to mind languid lady vampires swanning around an abandoned moonlit chateau, or perhaps flickering amongst the bleached bones scattered throughout the sandy stones of a coastal cliff-side ruin at twilight.
If there is a sigh between salacious and celestial, I think it is in that whispered instant that this collection leaves you gasping.
I’ve never really understood the great love for bobby pins. I knew that many people thought them to be an important, even crucial, tool for styling their hair, but I just didn’t get it. Whenever I tried to use a bobby pin, I’d end up using all 50 of them from the package, and no matter how many I used or how tightly or viciously I jammed them into my coils or rolls or twists or buns or braids, they’d all eventually slip out, and my one hundred pounds of hair would be left hanging lopsidedly on my head.
Well, as it turns out, I was using them the wrong way. Not just the wrong technique, mind you, but they were literally oriented the wrong way. On a bobby pin, there is a straight side, and there is a bumpy/rippled/wavy side. (However you might call it. One side is straight and flat, and the other is not.) I don’t know why it does not say so on the packaging, but, the general consensus is* that the wavy side is to face down, against your scalp when you pin your your hair; the ribbing is designed to grip hair and lock it into place.
I feel like there’s things in life that people never tell you, and that somehow you’re just expected to know (but how??) and this is definitely one of those things.
Am I the only one? Have you all been using them wrong, too? Or are there other, basic things that you learned late in life, which you could have been doing better or more correctly, if only someone had told you about it? Let’s pool our knowledge! It’s never to late to learn something new.
* I hesitate to say there is one right way to do something. I’m sure that some very professional, deft-fingered stylists can use it the other way, and it’s just fine.
