I don’t know that I need to preface this post with an explanation of what Stitch Fix is, because if you are here reading this, then you probably know this already. However, to review, Stitch Fix is a personalized styling service for which you pay a $20 per box subscription fee, (which can then be applied to the items you purchase), and you are then sent 5 articles of clothing/accessories. If you don’t like any of it, you can send it back in a prepaid bag, but then you are out $20. If you purchase all of it, you get a 25% discount off the total.
The above note was from my fifth fix, received in mid-May. My regular stylist was MIA. I sent most everything back. The Papermoon Waters Printed maxi dress was soft and comfortable, but I like my paisley eye-blindingly psychedelic and this paisley was too subdued for my liking…plus the cut and style made me look kind of blocky; regarding the Kut From The Kloth Danny knit pants -I have no use for black pants in mid-summer Florida; the Mystree Bess black dress was oddly textured and did not fit well, and the blouse, though it was something I’d actually admired from afar and pinned, in person it was that awful crunchy-gauzy material that I really dislike. The one thing I loved, the Renee C Huebert Space Dye open cardigan, was an item I had both pinned and requested, and it was the only thing I kept.
(Speaking of my Stitch Fix pinterest board: I pin a lot of things with helpful notes like: “I like this maxi skirt because the colorful print reminds me of the stars blurring by in the jump to hyperdrive”; or, “…this black lace blouse reminds me of the melancholy beauty captured in Victorian post-mortem photos.” I wonder…am I being too specific? Hm. Heh.)
Anyway, I had higher hopes for my June fix. I had no specific requests, other “a floral extravaganza” and “all of the flowers”.. however, when I opened the box, there was nary a bloom to be found. Also, no Macy! Where did she go? I miss her. It’s kind of funny; this new stylist references both white jeans AND colored jeans in the personal note, both of which I loathe. Goodness. Macy, come back!
Despite the fact that it didn’t seem to be quite what I was expecting or hoping for, I have learned that oftentimes you’ll be surprised by how nice something turns out to be when at first glance it seems rather horrid. So, I did end up at least try everything on. The first item, the Ioja Sagamore Cutout top, was probably nothing I would have picked up for myself, but ended up as the one item I kept. I do wish it were a bit longer, but it’s kind of cute. Up until recently I’ve been an all black all the time kind of lady, so I’m slowly introducing color into my wardrobe.
Also, When possible, I have decided to start including photos of myself actually wearing the items. Not because I think I look terrific in them, but just to give an idea of how they look on an actual human being. And anyway, I am not doing myself any favors by feeling badly about my body or the way it looks- it’s the only one I’ve got, and it’s the one wearing these clothes, and that’s just the way it is.
I really wanted to love The Pixley Bixby Bird Print Tab Sleeve blouse. It is super cute and I love the tab sleeves, but it’s really tight across the bust and the material is not at all breathable. Not good for swampy Florida heat.
The Market & Spruce Cotille lace overlay top. Again, not at all something I would have chosen for myself (or if I had a, it would have been black). It’s actually quite pretty, but again tight across the bust. It does not pass the “can I pull this back over my head without nearly strangling myself test”.
The Pixley Darcy weave jersey T-shirt dress is a very form-fitting dress and unfortunately I looked rather pregnant in it. Which is an okay look for ladies who are actually pregnant, but not one that I am wild about for myself. I actually love the colors and the feel of it, it’s stretchy and comfy and the weaving on the front reminds me of that Joy Division T-shirt. You know the one. Maybe that’s why they sent it to me, because I know for sure I definitely specified no bodycon type dresses.
And lastly, the one that actually was quite horrid….The Renèe C Zia printed maxi skirt. Awful print, awful material. I couldn’t even get the thing on, so it definitely too small. All in all it reminded me very much of those cheapy, flimsy skirts on the clearance rack at Ross that everyone’s passed over and you start to feel sort of sorry for it, but not $9.99 worth of sorry. And in this case, definitely not $58 worth of sorry!
Over all, not quite what I had in mind. BUT…you know, if not for some fit issues (and some body issues) I might have kept all but the skirt! The tops were adorable and that dress was very unique. No flowers but interesting patterns and textures and I do like those sorts of things. I ended up keeping just the tank, so this is the second month in a row that it’s been a 1/5.
That’s really okay, though. I don’t need a lot of new clothing right now, and Stitch Fix is still a really great way to add a piece here and there to your wardrobe over time without ever having to leave the house. There’s the anticipation of waiting for the box to arrive, the fun of trying it all on in your own home and styling it with things you already have, and for me the overall experience is just as important as the clothes that might come out of it, so I would say that I am still pretty enthusiastic about recommending that someone give them a try. (These are all referral links, by the way. I get a little bit of credit toward my next fix if something signs up through me. Full disclosure, &etc.)
As I have just now started wearing shorts again for the first time in oh, say, 20 years, for my next Fix I have requested some light, breathable knit tops to go with them (black horror and death metal tees are for when the heat is less oppressive!) Also, I am kind of keen on aquamarine and teal lately, so I put in a request for something in those colors. And a floral extravaganza! I still want ALL THE FLOWERS! Well, I guess I will just have to wait and see.
I’d forgotten that a million years ago, I’d made a little Amazon referral store. Well, now it’s been updated! If you’re ever interested in picking up any of the cinema, literature or music that I mention, you might find it here.
To be perfectly honest, I have no idea how it works. But if you find something I’ve list that you have an interest in, and purchase it, and then somehow I get credit for it toward some other purchase? Well that’s pretty good. I’m much obliged to ye.
Earlier this year I had the fantastic opportunity to contribute a cheeky piece to Witch Women, “….an exploration of the many facets of the relationship between femininity and the occult… original art and essays ranging from the esoteric to the light-hearted.” Witch Women is published by Tenebrous Kate over at Heretical Sexts, a micro-publisher of niche, print material focused on the dark and the bizarre, and contains a treasure trove of outré art, eccentric essays and salacious stories from some phenomenally talented artists and writers.
I don’t think I am being too forward by suggesting that it is relative to many of your interests! I mean, I’d venture to say that we’re all Witch Women here, of some sort.
See below for an excerpt from my contribution, Hag Couture (in film & cinema) ….if you dig it and want to read more, go buy a copy of Witch Women! And do yourself a favor, peek around at the other titles while you’re there…you are sure to find something unique to delight and titillate! (I’m looking at you, Erotic Rites of the Nazgûl). Enjoy!
HAG COUTURE (excerpt)
Witches stirring cauldrons, stabbing voodoo dolls, ripping off their own faces – truly, depictions of witchy women getting down to business make for visually fantastic cinema fodder. Whether these celluloid incarnations take form as glamorous queens, amusing fairytale buffoons, or seemingly ordinary small-town housewives, there is something fantastically compelling about watching a film focusing on witches in the midst of ritual. Even more fabulous still, when one narrows that focus to examine their attire and costumery as it related to those ritualistic actions and behaviors. From gilded enchantresses haunting one’s dreams to gothed-out teens experimenting with the occult , Hag Couture can encompass a wide range of aesthetics, but you must pay mind to what rites and ceremonies you pair with which styles for maximum results and wow-factor! Check out these witches most powerful and fashionable moments, plus tips for conjuring their wicked style.
You don’t always have to be dressed to the nines to draw down the moon! Here we have Mater Lacrimarium (Mother of Tears, Dario Agento, 2007) draped in a simple black cloak. When you consider her feats of violence, carnage and tearing an entire city apart, you truly appreciate the power in the idea that less is most definitely more. For a high-end, luxe approach, think the Yves Saint Laurent, Spring Summer capes of 2013 (you can ditch the rest of the ensemble for a sky-clad silhouette underneath.) For budget beauties, a king-size black cotton sheet set from Wal-Mart will do the trick. Bonus points if you get your partner tricked out in some avant-garde, deconstructed Junya Watanabe or Comme des Garcons. Complete this look with a spritz of Passage d’Enfer by L’Artisan.
In The Craft, a favorite for many who came into their magics in the 1990s, we see a coven of young women experimenting with witchcraft and reveling in their newfound powers. The look and feel of the film – Lace, leather, boots, crocheted sweaters, long dresses, gothic jewelry, and dark nails and lips – is so gloriously goth/grunge nineties, but the wardrobe could use a bit of an update for today’s aspiring acolytes. Young witches in for an evening of glamours and games of “light as a feather, stiff as a board” or out for an afternoon picnic with Manon should stock up on unique pieces from dark indie designers such as Ovate, Noctex, or Morph Knitwear, festoon themselves in supernatural jewels and psychic armor from Bloodmilk or mystical talismans from Burialground and scent their persons with a bit of Snake Oil fragrance oil from Black Alchemy Lab.
Lady Sei Shonagon, woodblock print by Kobayashi Kiyochika, 1896
A list of pleasing things.
Not unlike those penned by Sei Shōnagon, a lady-in-waiting to the Empress of Japan during the Heian period, whose swoon-worth pillow book of lists and stories and observations is a thing of rare beauty and a fascinating glimpse into another human being’s life.
“Elegant Things” by Sei Shōnagon
A white coat worn over a violet waistcoat.
Duck eggs.
Shaved ice with liana syrup and put in a new silver bowl.
A rosary of rock crystal.
Snow on wisteria or plum blossoms.
A pretty child eating strawberries.
Though I suppose mine, below, is not quite exactly like hers, either.
To be honest, I guess it’s really just a list.
Treasures from supernatural surrealist and dream-haunter JL Schnabel of Bloodmilk. Pictured here are the Endless Night stacking rings I & II and The Wounding necklace, an item I for which I have longed for quite some time now; a talisman for piercing the darkness.
The simplest of summer cocktails for still, sweltering evenings. Vodka + a generous squirt of lime + elderflower rose lemonade. Lots of ice. Repeat as needed.
Both my paramour and I are big kids at heart, and after seeing this LEGO bird set built over on tested.com, I thought it would make for a fun birthday present for him and a nice afternoon together. And it was! And at the end of our play, we had something really cool to put on the shelf!
A new handbag for all my stuff! What, you don’t carry around candlesticks and tiki mugs on a daily basis? Well, to each his own, I guess. This is the “big slouchy messenger bag” from Baba Studio and it is practically perfect. I loved my old Betsey Johnson number with the fancy skulls, but it was getting pretty grungy.
Poor Sei Shōnagon is probably rolling over in her grave at this point. She had some fairly bitter and scathing things to say about silly or unfashionable people and I doubt she’d spare me! Or, who knows -maybe she would recognize a kindred spirit in me, she’d pour me a cup of tea and we’d while away the time gossiping about people and talking about all the cool stuff we have.
It’s true, sometimes my desire to be a part of things trumps my common sense. When I first started paying attention to subscription boxes, back in the beginning of the year, I realized I was a little bit late to the party with the whole idea, but I was immediately intrigued. I loved the novelty and the surprise of it, and the idea that some stranger was picking things out just for me! However, I also realize that my tastes don’t exactly align with the average person that these boxes are marketed to, but I somehow managed to shush that voice in my head and ordered all of them anyway.
I’ve been blarging regularly about my Stitch Fix boxes, and I am all the way up to number six now, which I will post about separately. I didn’t even bother with number five, because it was sort of a dud. I did keep one cardigan though, that I really love, so I guess it wasn’t all that bad.
I’ve mentioned the netflixian clothes rental services Gwynnie Bee as well, and that’s actually something I have been having quite a bit of luck with, and have actually kept a number of dresses. I have a bit of a passion for weird prints and these two are my current favorites. I love the strange angles and geometry of the first dress (The MM2 Tangerine Prism dress), and the second dress (The City Chic Mirrored Paisley dress) looks like it houses a portal to another dimension in my nether region. And those weird pockets! I do think they could both benefit from a belt.
Rocks Box is one that I had some misgiving about because I am very particular when it comes to jewelry…but as I’ve been saying, I need some more traditional pieces to add to the rotation. Sometimes I just don’t want to be asked questions about the taxidermy eyeball earrings that I am wearing, or the baby owl skull necklace around my neck. On the whole they sent some nice things (I kept the gold Gorjana rings from each box, and that black House of Harlow arrow necklace) and they gave me some ideas for some designers that I will seek out apart from the service, but I’m kind of picky, and I just couldn’t force myself to like their inventory. I canceled the service after three boxes; the third one was a dud, and is not pictured here.
The Daily Look Elite box appeared promising at first, but they only cater up to a size 12, so if you are on the larger end of the spectrum, your choices are limited. I hate the term “edgy” with the fire of a thousand suns, but I think that if you’ve tried something like Stitch Fix and thought “oh man, this is stuff my grandma or the girl scout troop leader or low-end ladies who brunch would wear”, you would probably find Daily Look a little bit more edgy/contemporary. My first box was such a disappointment that I didn’t even bother photographing it, let alone trying it on. And my second box, well, they sent me two (!) pairs of shoes, one pair of sunglasses, one trench coat, one kimono, and one bag, and one tiny pair of earrings. None of them were all that awful, but it was just nothing I need. I did keep the bag because upon closer examination it appeared to vaguely resemble an Alexander Wang satchel I’ve been lusting after, but upon evaluation I realize that I do edgy and avant-garde and offbeat just fine on my own. I actually need more grandma clothes, to be honest. Daily Look Elite has been canceled.
The last box I ordered was the Pop Sugar Must Have box. Pop Sugar is one of those sites I never really make a point to look at, but sometimes when I am looking for reviews or roundups of certain types of cosmetics or beauty products, I end up there anyhow. Now I knew going in that this box probably wouldn’t be to my taste (especially starting in June when everything is summer! beach body! sunshine! and all of that nonsense), but once again, I silenced my better judgement and signed up anyhow.
There was nothing terrible in here, but nothing really compelling either. The new book by Judy Blume which I will give to my grandma because she is currently reading 50 Shades of Grey and I don’t want her brain to start to deteriorate, an eye shadow palette from Pacifica, a yoga headband, some sunglasses which aren’t my style at all and anyway I wear a terribly strong prescription, a gift card for $30 off a “vintage” jewelry site (which is mostly overpriced 80’s Avon stuff), and loofa buffer pre-filled with a very synthetic smelling yuzu body wash and some gummy vitamins. I am not sure why they call this a “Must Have” box. Who Must Have this stuff? I would be interested to see what they do for the autumnal season, so I might give it another try. In the meantime, I think I will squirrel some of this stuff away for gifts or surprises or something. Surprise! Have some crap that I didn’t want! Ha.
For most of these boxes I managed to find instances of “get a free month when you sign up”, otherwise I might not have tried them at all. If you poke around My Subscription Addiction you might be able to find some of those and that way if you don’t like it, well, you really haven’t wasted anything other than your time. In the meantime, here’s a code for a free month of Rocks Box: SARAHBFF951 and the url for a free month of Gwynnie Bee: https://goo.gl/LbCqJh
What are your favorite subscription boxes? Is there one that you think I should try? You know, I really wish they’d put together a Haute Goth box*, or a Ghost Chic box – that would be right up my alley!
*I know there’s already some sort of goth box, but when I checked it out, it didn’t impress me. I want one that includes art from my favorite dark artists, unusual baubles from my preferred ghouly jewelers, spooky tales from writers and poets, maybe a tarot deck or divinatory devices, an unusual piece, maybe a scarf or shawl or hat from a macabre desiger.
Wow, I think this box will probably cost about $1000. I don’t want much, do I?
Ukraine-based designer Anna Mo creates super chunky cozy knit blankets, hats, scarves and other accessories that you can find in her Etsy shop called Ohhio. Each piece is handmade using 100% Australian merino wool. Beautiful!
Here’s to giving up, by Alice Lee“Here’s to celebrating the work that was done instead of constantly worrying about what is to come. I am really bad at that and I would like to get better, if only because thinking the things you spend your life working on lose value ten minutes after they are released is also no way to live.” <—Amen to that!
How To Be A Lady In The Streets And A Haunted Clock Tower In The Sheets “Your bed is nothing if it’s not buzzing with high-pitched screeches that seem to be coming from NOWHERE … yet also from EVERYWHERE. Bonus points if you can open up a mysterious time portal and get some screams from the past in there, too! SpOoOoOoky!” (h/t to Jack, Jennifer, my beardo and everyone else to shared this with me!)
On rainy midnights do you ever find yourself curled on the sofa, reading a worn paperback with a cracked spine, the shadowy darkness of the tattered cover providing the backdrop for a beveled tower, backlit by the moon and away from which a pale faced and wan young woman flees, her ruffled peignoir trailing and tangling behind her?
What is this poor, doomed lady running from? Could be any number of gothic romance tropes – ghosts, phantoms and strange sinister spirits. Abandoned monasteries, isolated castles. Brooding, mysterious gentleman. Wild, turbulent love and bitter betrayals. Fearful family curses. Dreams, illusions, obsessions, murders. I mean…what isn’t she running from, right?
And do you ever find yourself wondering…“what would I wear if I were running in her shoes?”
Well, nothing practical or suited for running long distances, I can assure you! See below for an array of ruffles, lace and dark baubles with which to bedeck yourself should you find deeply entangled in a highly atmospheric, possibly historical and definitely creepy love affair with a sweetheart who may or may not want to kill you.
Please note that the website where these images were originally compiled and created has since closed and sadly there is no longer a record of the items that were used! Lost to the sands of time, like so many frightened protagonist’s footprints, disappearing along a haunted coastline…
Not into gothic romance? Not to worry – I’ve got you covered! Below are some bonus wardrobes for lovers of pulp and general weirdness.
Guiltiest pleasures: pale, languid covers of beloved favorites
Image: Brandon C. Long
Track list:
Running Up That Hill, Placebo | Don’t Fear The Reaper, Gus Black | There Is A Light That Never Goes Out, Trespassers William | Susanna And The Magical Orchestra, Love Will Tear Us Apart | Paint It Black, Anne Marie Almedal | The Killing Moon, Nouvelle Vague | The One I Love, Rosie Thomas | Under The Milky Way, Sia | Love Is A Battlefield (Feat. White Sea), Wrongchilde | I’m On Fire, Bat For Lashes | Silver Springs, Lykke Li | Red Right Hand, Pj Harvey | Disintegration, Big Blood
My apologies in advance. Anyone who is living a fun, care-free life right now: I hate you. Do you call yourself an “International Playgirl” or something along those lines? I hate you. Are you anyone other than me, whose life feels like it is grinding to an interminable, soul-sucking halt? No? Well then, I probably hate you all.
My grandfather passed away last week. We had just gotten the hospice bed set up so that he could pass his remaining time in a familiar place, and the medical equipment fellow had just left, after explaining the ups and downs and ins and outs of how to operate the thing. The oxygen machine was running in the corner, a steady hum that I suspected I would get used to over the next few days.
My phone rang again, and I answered, expecting that it was the medical transport folks informing me that they were bringing him home; that they were on their way. Instead it was hospice phoning to tell me he was gone.
He was a 97 year old man. This shouldn’t have surprised me…and yet it did. I paced between rooms wondering how on earth was I going to share this heartbreaking news with my grandmother, who had been so happy earlier that her husband of 72 years was finally coming home. I could still hear the slow hiss from the oxygen tank, and the realization that he never even had a chance to use it sadly dawned on me.
His presence lingers in the house, his imprint still on everything. A pair of shorts, a worn leather belt still looped through, hangs from a hook on the back of the bathroom door. His glasses sit on a table next to his chair, which none of us can bring ourselves to sit in again. A magnifying glass on the kitchen table, a WWII aircraft poster in the garage, a stack of bills in the office which had not yet been paid.
It is this last bit, and all items related to it, that make the grieving process difficult, if not impossible for me right now. Despite how heart-wrenching it is that my neither my grandmother nor I nor my sisters had a chance to say a proper goodbye to a man who was everything to us, I cannot even bring myself to stifle a sob. There is nothing there.
I suspect that this is because I am utterly consumed with the care of the person who is left behind. Who is, for all intents and purposes quite helpless, and her finances, her property, her health and well-being, it has all been entrusted to me. I know that I am not alone in this, as I have my two sisters – but as I am the only one local, most of these concerns fall squarely on my lap. I know they do what they can, and I know I have their full support and it’s no one’s fault really, that I am here and they are there – but none of this makes it much easier for me, to be perfectly honest.
And it’s not like I don’t have a job, although granted, my job makes it a little bit easier than someone else in my situation might have it – I both have a very understanding employer, and I work from home – but 99.9% of my usual stress in life in job related and now with missing as much work as I have been missing, gosh. My anxiety is through the roof.
At the end of the day, after taking into account my grandmother’s schedule and appointments and issues, on top of doing the same thing for my job – I just can’t do any more. I’m not exercising, I am not eating right (that’s an understatement, I have probably gained 10 lbs in three weeks but I don’t even want to think about that), bills are probably going unpaid, the house is a mess and I . just. don’.t care.
I’m probably pretty depressed. I’m sitting in front of my computer screen, I can’t even look at the things I like to look at, art blogs, new music blogs, recipe sites. This might seem like a small thing, but I think it’s telling. I’m not the sort of person where you’d notice a dramatic change in my personality… because I think I am too repressed to sink into a profoundly spectacular depression. Instead, it’s that loss of interest or enjoyment in things one usually might take pleasure in, a feeling of hopelessness. Resignation. This is never going to end. This is what it’s going to be like forever and ever. And then I realize of course that is not the case, my grandmother is 94 years old and she’s not going to be around forever and I should cherish the time I have with her and what the hell is wrong with me? What kind of monster am I? Wash, rinse, repeat.
I try to go through life with a “chin up!” sort of attitude, I really do. But I just can’t even fake it right now. And you many people who have reached out to me with condolences and concern and thoughtful gifts and kind words – I cannot thank you enough. For as much as I want to curl up into a ball and disappear at the moment, it’s things like this, that someone cares enough to reach out in some way… I might not think I want these things, but you know, I desperately need them. And I thank you for realizing that and acting on it.
And I don’t hate any of you, don’t pay attention to what I said several paragraphs ago. I am just feeling bitter and resentful of people who don’t have these worries and who may never have them.
In the meantime, I have got to get it together on a personal level. My bank account probably can’t handle this level of grief shopping that I have been putting it through, so I am going to have to find different, healthier ways to cope. More on that later. Though…if new stuff and things can’t cheer me up then perhaps all is truly lost.
Friends and folks who have been through something similar – how did you pull through? How did you not totally wreck your life while trying to take care of someone else’s? Your thoughts, suggestions and insights are, as always, deeply appreciated.
