2025
My latest column for Rue Morgue Magazine is out now! Well, it’s the November/December issue, but my copy only just arrived today!
In The Tiny Murderers In My Garden (Are Really Bad At Murder!) I explore finishing Sarah Maria Griffin’s recent offering, Eat the Ones You Love – a novel narrated by a carnivorous orchid plotting to devour its beloved florist – and the immediate urge to acquire tiny potted predators of my own. Spoiler: Baby the orchid’s predatory scheming is a lot more dramatic than the reality of bog water maintenance and humidity checks.
Turns out that bringing horror home just means learning about distilled water requirements and obsessing over light exposure while Patty and Selma (my venus flytrap and pitcher plant) laze about in the Florida sun, proving themselves more decorative than dangerous. Pick up the issue to read about scheming and scandalous blooms, the uncanny oppression of overwhelming greenery, a shocking confession about a beloved horror classic, and the anticlimactic reality of actual carnivorous plant ownership.
P.S. I was also thinking about naming them after The Duras Sisters, Lursa and B’Etor.
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