Archive of ‘not a fashion blog’ category

Creepy couture inspiration for Halloween

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Gareth Pugh Spring 2015 Ready To Wear

I’ve come to the conclusion that I like my Halloween costumes like I like my movies: gorgeous and confusing. The sort of visuals that elicit a “that’s beautiful, but I…don’t…get…it” response, are, in this woman’s opinion, the very best kind of imagery. I don’t care if the plot is twisted and convoluted and the story is nonsensical if you’ve given me fantastic eye candy, and I think the same thing can be said about the fantastical garb that one might don to celebrate this most hallowed of holiday traditions.

If it looks good, who cares what it means?

In searching out jaw-droppingly eerie ensembles that not only make you feel like a stunning, one-of-a-kind creation, but which also instill a keen sense of awe and bewilderment and WTF?! in onlookers – what better inspiration can you channel than that of the runways and catwalks commandeered by avant-garde designers of haute couture?

See below for a handful of my freakish and fabulous favorites from seasons past….

 

GARETH PUGH

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Gareth Pugh Fall 2015 Ready To Wear

I could probably fill an entire page with Gareth Pugh inspiration, but I’ll start with some of my favorites. Pugh’s Fall 2015 Ready To Wear collection immediately brought to mind CROSSED, Garth Ennis’s comic of an infectious pandemic in which victims are consumed by a pervasive bloodlust and rapidly devolve into homicidal maniacs (carriers of the virus are known as the “Crossed” due to a cross-like rash that appears on their faces.) It’s violent and terrible and bleak, and seems like pretty great Halloween inspiration on it’s own.

Gareth Pugh Spring 2015

Gareth Pugh Spring 2015 Ready To Wear

It kind of boggles my mind that Pugh’s Spring 2015 line up is a “Ready To Wear” collection. Do I misunderstand the meaning of “Ready To Wear”? On what planet is this ready to wear anywhere?  I will add, however, that if this planet exists, I want a first class ticket there, because a world where a lady can’t walk down the street dressed like a paper mâché minotaur, a sack cloth scarecrow or a piñata from the deepest, darkest folklore, is not one wherein I wish to live. Despite my commentary to the contrary, Pugh has noted that he wanted this collection to be “… of the earth, rather than landed from a spaceship.” Huh!

*Bonus Material

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Gareth Pugh Spring 2012

Speaking of “…landed from a spaceship”, this particular piece looks like it came from planet Pyramid Head.  GAH.  I am really freaking myself out.

 

 SHEGUANG HU

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Sheguang Hu at Mercedes-Benz China Fashion Week S/S 2014

No doubt there are some who find Mongolian born designer Sheguang Hu’s S/S 2014 collection…challenging. With its spiked, metal wire face masks and fearsome demonic headdresses, he certainly has crafted exquisitely troubling sights to show us, sights that hint of emptiness, of pain and despair.

If this sounds familiar, perhaps you’ve reached the same conclusion as I have; this work is clearly a collaboration between Sheguang Hu and the Cenobites, who are the go-to experts on aesthetics both alluring and terrifying.  Hu himself says of his “Sting” collection: “We need strong feelings even if it is piercing pain. The pain wakes us up from the numbness, forces to feel the taste of life again and pursue the lost dreams.”

To all puzzled queries from fearful costumed party-goers and trick-or-treaters – respond with “Save your tears. I’ll reap your sorrow slowly.”

 

 GIVENCHY & MAISON MARGIELA 

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Left: Givenchy Spring 2016 / Right: Maison Margiela Spring 2015

I adore these pale, ghostly ensembles from Givenchy and Maison Margiela. The fluttery dress and ornate lace on the left somehow recalls for me grim tales of elegant, courtly Japanese yūrei, and the bejeweled face-hugging mask on the right conjure up those ghastly nurses from Silent Hill, with their faces obscured behind swaths of tissue.


ALEXANDER MCQUEEN

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Alexander McQueen Ready To Wear Fall 2009

Lastly, if you’re going for batshit insanity, look no further than Alexander McQueen’s Fall 2009 ready to wear collection.  If ever there was a sense of the inmates running the asylum*, it is to be found within the imagery of these painfully theatrical parodies of landmark 20th century fashions. Paired with those incredibly ridiculous blow-up doll lips, I just want to scream with laughter and delight every time I flip through the catwalk photos.  And the more I look at the lips, the more I am reminded of in horror films, how someone on a downward mental slide (or perhaps they are possessed) begins to delicately apply lipstick and then maniacally starts scrawling all over their face?
Yeah, I want to imagine this going on backstage all the time. As a matter of fact, I highly suggest you break out that particular trick in the midst of cocktail party conversation!
Watch everyone’s faces.  Tell me about it afterward.

*Please know that I am not poking fun of or making light of the mentally ill.  I think you all know me much better than that.  If there is mockery here, it is lighthearted and provoked by the craziness of the fashion industry and those nutty folks who are a part of it. All of which I kind of love, anyway.

 

 

How to wear a haunted castle

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Let’s talk Fall 2015 fashion trends, shall we? Do you really care how to wear this season’s car wash skirt or that godawful psychedelic fringed poncho? Is someone, somewhere, still trying to make those drop-crotch harem pants a thing?

Do you really care about what’s trending sartorially, anyhow? Personally, I feel like none of it is the slightest bit relevant to me or my experience.

You know what is relevant to me and my habits and personality? Dripping stone walls and overgrown graveyards. Trap doors, secret dungeons, and locked tower rooms. Footsteps creaking upon staircases and fingers clutching dusty candelabras. Howlings and shriekings, groanings and gibberings, and the clanking of chains. Drafty turrets, swirling mists, and sudden winds.

Do you follow me?

Haunted castles, my friend.  Haunted castles are a vital part of my Fall/Winter 2015 fashion scene.

I have put together three full ensembles (with accessories!) in which you can cloak yourself  as you traverse ghostly passageways alongside insubstantial spectres and white-haired women turned lunatic and raving.

You prefer haunts crawling with vampires and bloodhounds and vanished corpses, you say? Worry not, we’ve got you covered there, as well. From creepy keeps to cursed citadels, your haunted castle wardrobe needs are well-met with frocks from ghoulish  designers and macabre baubles to match.

Inveraray Castle

How to wear a haunted castle (4)Sarmi vintage dress $680 // For Love & Lemons bralette $122 & panties $38 // Bloodmilk mini lorraine cross earrings $210 // Macabre Gadgets Arche ring $600 // Julia Deville death & lilies ring $9800 // Rituel de Fille lipstick, “cipher” $23 // Diptique Oud Palao perfume $75 // Bernard Delettrez spider clutch $1960 // Jeffrey Campbell Psyche booties $189.95

Oravský Zámok (Orava Castle)

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Erdem Finola gown $1931 // La Perla slip $668 // Alexander McQueen clutch $4595 // Gianni Barbato boots // Diamond Tooth Taxidermy hat // Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab scents & nail lacquer $10-$23 // Corvus + Crux Skeleton Key necklace $65 // Antique jet mourning fob $140 // Antique vulcanite hair comb

Neuschwanstein Castle

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Arletta dress $175 // Fleur of England bra $118 & thong $126 // Valentino Cuff Bracelet & Ring Set $745 // Patricia Nicholas spiderbat earrings 97€ // Maison Michel Flower Veil Mask // Kathula blackened ring $100 // Diane Von Furstenberg clutch $368 // Kat Von D Everlasting liquid lipstick, “witches” // Chloe lace up boots $1,175 // Alexander McQueen ring $345 // DSH Perfume Paradise Lost $98

Deep thoughts

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I don’t know that Adele’s really my cup of tea – which isn’t to say I actively dislike her or anything, it’s just sort of a “meh” situation. But that coat she’s wearing in her sepia toned, depressing as hell, windy autumn woodland video, ‘Hello‘? The coat that looks like it is comprised of several dozen fine muppet pelts? I am all about that dead muppet coat.

Also, why are there abandoned, vine-covered phone booths in the middle of the woods? Where’d they come from? What’s their story? Weird, right? If Adele sang more about phantom forest phone booths and less about boring broken-record broken heartedness, I might be more inclined to listen to her music.

 

 

 

Elsewhere: La Castiglione on Haute Macabre

My guest post on La Castiglione is up over at Haute Macabre today!

DRAMA QUEEN & CULTIST OF PERSONAL BEAUTY:
VIRGINIA OLDOINI, COUNTESS OF CASTIGLIONE

And because I am nutty and can’t write about someone without wanting to dress them up myself (or even play dress up AS them) here are two interpretations of some modern day Countess of Castiglione ensembles!

Queen of Hearts


Beauty Cultist

 

How to wear: the Autumn Equinox

At The End Of Day (by paddy on flickr)

 I remember you as you were in the last autumn. 
You were the grey beret and the still heart.
In your eyes the flames of the twilight fought on.
And the leaves fell in the water of your soul.
-Pablo Neruda

Ah, autumn! You of the grey beret and still heart. The low, whistling winds through the branches, the blazing cascades of gold and russet leaves, the nights creeping longer and colder…

Every year, around the beginning of September, my heart skips a beat – just one small, lone beat – when I think of autumn. For a brief, flickering moment, I somehow manage to forget that I no longer live in New Jersey and I begin to look forward to the cool shift in the weather, the subtle changes in the afternoon sunlight, and the the scent of embers on the breeze from chimneys or piles of burning leaves. And then, suddenly, I remember I am back in Florida with sticky sweat pooling in my cleavage on a 92 degree mid-September afternoon.

This is the only time of year that anyone will ever hear me talk about missing New Jersey.

So as you can imagine, it is business as usual down here in the swamps.  Further north, when folks are pulling down their wool peacoats from storage and unpacking cabled sweaters and knee high leather boots, I am still bumming around in my flipflops and tee shirts (but let’s be real, I love my flip-flops). I don’t love, however, missing out on those beautiful cardigans and ribbed tights and fair isle scarves and all sorts of wonderful autumnal pieces that make up my very favorite sort of dying-year ensembles.

For now, I’m afraid, all I can do is daydream. And so, for the Autumn Equinox, see below for several  – and there are quite a few – autumn wardrobe inspirations and flights of fancy. I can’t say that any of this is particularly “stylish” (ugh, I hate that word) or on trend, but who cares about that dumb crap, anyway? If you like it, wear it! Anyhow, these are all pieces that I find quite beautiful, with rich harvest colors and luxe textures and deep, lush prints.

As always, click through the image for a polyvore page with complete item details.

 

 

 

 

August Stitch Fix 9 & 10

I received two Stitch Fix boxes in August…I’m not quite sure how that happened.  Probably something in my settings that I should correct.  I really don’t need this many clothes. I am seriously all stocked up.  And more importantly than that, in talking with my therapist yesterday, we have come to the conclusion that I might be developing a bit of an internet spending addiction (more on that some other time) and I really need to be more mindful of these things.  But that’s depressing, and I don’t want to talk about that right at this moment. Instead: clothes!  This post will be fairly image heavy and light on the wordiness, by the way.  I’m feeling lazy.

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FIX 9 -Early August

Fix #9 had some interesting and unexpected pieces – definitely things that I would never have chosen for myself, and strangely enough, it was one of the oddest things in the bunch that I loved the most.

First up, the Pixley Penni V-Neck top, size L. I had pinned this; I sort of dig the funky print. Really soft. Slightly tight across the hips. I’ll deal with it. KEPTPIXLEYPENNI

 

The Amour Vert Alesandro V-neck blouse. $118. And silk. For someone who barely leaves the house, this doesn’t make a lot of sense. Though I strangely don’t hate the hearts. RETURNED.AmourVert

 

The Pixley Polly tie waist tunic. I love the idea of tunics, but the reality is that they don’t do much for my shape. RETURNED.PIXLEYPOLLY

 

The RD Style Carlotta mixed material knit top was super cute, but unfortunately too tight on me to be flattering. RETURNED.Carlotta

 

The Staccato Amaryllis poncho was the surprise sleeper hit of the box. I was sure I was going to hate it. And I pretty much did until I put it on. Now I inexplicably love it. My fella said it looked kind of awesome. I feel like I should be waving smudge sticks around or teaching a pottery class. I’m cool with that. KEPT.Staccato

 

FIX 10 – late August

This one had some nice pieces in it too, and an awesome note from my stylist.

The Pixley Greenwich striped top with elbow patches, which is was soft and comfortable and the elbow patches are kind of fun… But I already have several striped tops, so I don’t think I need another. But I kept it anyway and did a huge closet purge after.  Turns out all of my other striped tops were a million years old, some of them even had holes in them.  Jeez. KEPT.PIXLEYGREENWICH

 

The Renèe C maxiskirt, which is indeed very colorful as per my stylist’s commentary. It’s not that I think I’ll never wear it, I am actually trying to work some color into my wardrobe. Just…not those colors. Also,  I just don’t think I actually have anything to wear with it. Also, I am good at buying maxi skirts on my own. RETURNED Maxifull

 

The Le Lis Maude Floral dress. This is really lovely, it truly is. Unfortunately my bum always hikes up my skirts by a few inches, so this feels too short. Worn with a random scarf over my shoulders, because I don’t really do sleeveless. RETURNED.MAUDEfull

 

The Skies Are Blue Suzanne A-line dress. I really love this, it’s so soft and the print is quasi floral/botanical something or other and it’s really quite perfect. If I am being honest, I think I like this so much because the pattern reminds me of a china plate. Worn with The Renèe C space dyed cardi from a previous fix because again, I don’t do sleeveless. I don’t know that it is actually the most flattering thing in the world, but it could be the angle, or the cardigan. Or maybe just my lumpy bod. That’s okay, I still kept it. KEPT.Suzanne

 

And look at this amazing frock! The Everly Peter dress vaguely reminds me of something from the 1990s. I didn’t have a pair of stompy Doc Martens to wear with it, so I paired it with leggings and some Frye boots. Probably…not how I would normally wear this.  Also, I imagine it needs a belt or something to define my waist a little bit. Why do I always love the things that make me look like I am wearing a sack?  Ah, well. KEPT.

PETER
Interested in seeing my previous Fixes?
{Fix 1  |  Fix 2  |  Fix 3  |  Fix 4  |  Fix 5 & 6  |  Fix 8 }

Interested in your own?  Please use my referral code!

 

(What to wear) Upon greeting Death

Richard Avedon | ‘In Memory of the Late Mr. and Mrs. Comfort’

Greet death
with your hands in your pockets,
slouched back, cool,
collected, and confident.
Wear a hint of a grin
and a dash of cologne.
Say What took you so long?
Say You’re behind the times, man.
Say Dead is the new black.
Coffin is the new condo.
Pallor is the new tan.
La vida muerta.

-“How To Greet Death“, Gabriel Gadfly (excerpt)

In Gabriel Gadfly’s How To Greet Death (one of my very favorite poems), it is suggested that in the event that you should meet your maker, wear a hint of a grin and a dash of cologne; another stanza adds in a pair of your father’s cufflinks and your mother’s wedding band.

Not bad, but I think we can do better.

Getting outfitted for the last moments of one’s life is an intensely personal business, but I think that to begin and end with every mother’s insistence of a clean pair of underwear is doing yourself a great disservice and perhaps selling yourself a bit short. If you’re indeed rendezvousing with the Grim Reaper, leave a lasting last impression as make your exodus!  Of course, do include the clean underwear, as well.

See below for a handful of ensembles to leave Death gasping and goggle-eyed as you shuffle (or skip, or meander, or leap, or whatever your manner of leave-taking may be) off this mortal coil. As always, click through the image for a complete listing of the items in each set.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What to wear: Melancholics on Holiday

Here we are nearing the end of August, and many of you are packing up your blackest swim outfits and bundling up the velvet parasols into storage to gather dust for another season.   The summer sun feels hottest and strongest now, but it’s sputtering and fading, you’ll see. There are probably only a few good weekends left for a seaside frolic or a picnic at the lake before the slant of light through the trees bends ever so golden, and the air starts whispering autumn tales of falling leaves and All Pumpkin Everything.

(Well, of course, everywhere except here. We get one day of fall in Florida, and that usually happens for six hours in mid-January.)

Make the most of it while you can! Get out of the house while it is still warm, before the frigid winds slash through the dark, endless nights and the marrow of your bones ices over! See and be seen!

Whether excavating Fiji mermaid remains, reading Dion Fortune in a dim-lit sea cave, or exploring the abandoned ruins of a haunted beach resort you will no doubt find below the dark ensemble to perfectly complete this summer’s final melancholic holiday.

As always, click on the image for a full listing of the items.

 

How to wear a date with a monster

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Hellraiser Frank and JuliaWe’ve all been there. It’s Friday night, you’re tearing up your closet–shoes strewn all over the floor, blouses crumpled and flung all up in the ceiling fan. You’re growling and muttering anxious curses, butterflies flapping their stupid wings in your guts… and you just don’t know what to wear on your first date with that super cute wolf man who works in accounting.

No, seriously, he’s a wolf man. He’s in the accounting department. You walked past him a million times before and never noticed him until he nearly bit your face off that one time when you were both working late during last month’s full moon.

And now he’s asked you out to dinner!

It’s the age-old dilemma, isn’t it? What to wear on a date with a monster? I mean monsters, they’ve seen it all, right? Some have been around for millennia and certainly have been around the block a time or two. How could you, a mere human, possibly hope to wow or impress one of these dastardly fiends? Never fear, I am here to help.

See below for some fabulous wardrobe suggestions for dates with your savage sweetie or beastly bae, whether you’re sexing up the swamps, inviting them home to flay your folks alive, or just spending some quality time together destroying a major metropolis.

As always, click the link or the image to find out more about the individual items listed.

Blind date.

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Date night with Frank.frank

Date night with Godzillagodzilla

Date night with a werewolf

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Date with Death.

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Date night with Swamp Thingswamp

 Date night with a bear who used to be a man but his ex was a sorceress. Long story.

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Date night with a wolf who used to be a bear who used to be a man.wolfman

July Stitch Fix #8 and the most flattering dress

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SF8card

Fix #8 is here! Or, well, to be more accurate, it arrived three weeks ago, but I am just getting around to talking about it now.  If you have somehow stumbled upon this page and you haven’t the slightest idea what I am going on about:  Stitch Fix is a clothing subscription service for which you pay a $20 a month subscription fee to receive five items of clothing (which can also include accessories.) The $20 can be applied to whatever you keep. If you do not care for any of it, you can send it back in a prepaid bag, but then you are out $20.  If you purchase all of it, you get a 25% discount off the total. Whew! I think that’s basically the gist of it!  You can read more about my previous fixes here.
{Fix 1  |  Fix 2  |  Fix 3  |  Fix 4  |  Fix 5 & 6}

For my first few fixes, my stylist was Macy, and she was doing a really great job, but she disappeared somewhere around #5 and I finally learned she is no longer with Stitch Fix. My stylist is now Natalie and I think she was terrifically on point with everything she included in this box.

This Leota Amandine dress is the most expensive item (at $138) that I have received to date …but I can’t think of one single reason not to keep it. Right now I am currently sitting on my highest weight ever and yet somehow this dress still looks absolutely freaking incredible.

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The Fate Skrilly top, size large and I totally forgot to note the price on it.  When I took it out of the box, I was fairly certain it was going to be much too tight, but it is not at all as fitted.  as I thought it might be. It’s more of a deep plum than a black, but I don’t know that you can tell from the pictures. It’s quite beautiful, but I’m not sure where I would wear it. Also, summertime in Florida.

8skrilly

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The Loveapella Regent crochet neckline knit top, size large, is another one for which I forgot the price. This was actually an item I had pinned on my pinterest board, and I am always so surprised when they actually take the time to peek at that, and try to find something from it. I don’t really care for tie-dyed clothing, unless it’s monochromatic neutrals, and this is beautiful and comfortable to boot. A total keeper.

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The Sam Hi Lo tee shirt in green or teal or whatever you want to call this. I received the charcoal version of this in my last box, and yes, yes, I know – I’ve already got a million tee shirts and I don’t need another…and I don’t know if it’s actually the most flattering thing in the world, but it’s so soft, I love the color, and I live in T-shirts anyhow. So it may as well be mine.

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…and holy mackerel! Is it…could it be…FLORALS? I’ve only been requesting florals and flowers and botanical prints for 3 months now, and it looks as if they finally have heard my pleas.  However, as cruel fate would have it, this is a rather unforgiving fabric and won’t fit over my bust area. Otherwise, I totally would have kept it.

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I don’t think I posted about the last fix I received, and truthfully, it was pretty lackluster.  However, I did receive what is quite possibly the best item they ever sent me, and to be quite honest I can’t believe it even came from Stitch Fix. My “style”, such as it is, is somewhere in the intersection of goth/edgy/boho, but not really any of those things. This cardigan perfectly sums it up for me. {This marks approximately the 150th cardigan in my closet}. It’s the Staccato Agata cardigan for those folks who may wish to request it in a future fix!

 

 

For my next delivery I requested some items for an upcoming trip to Portland; I am super into weird prints and hideous stripes right now, so we’ll see what they come up with. As a matter of fact, it is supposed to arrive today! I’ll be certain not to take too long to report in next time.

In other subscription box news, I signed up for the Evereve Trendsend box and I hated it so much that I wanted to set the entire box on fire.  I think it is mainly because they included a tee shirt that had a dream catcher on it (which is almost as bad as dream catchers hanging from  rear view mirrors in your car – you are not sleeping while you are driving, are you?  So why would you need a dream catcher? For god’s sake, people). Anyway, gross. I tried the Wantable Style edit box and canceled after the first box.  It was too expensive, though I did keep one item.

The culmination of the last few months of wardrobe building can be seen in the photo below, which is quite possibly my adultiest outfit yet. Skirt and cardigan from Modcloth, Tart blouse is from the Wantable Style edit, Isabelle Fiore bag is from tradesy, and necklace is from Stitch Fix.

 

In fact, so confident am I in the variety now found in my closet, I have canceled every single subscription box I have (except for Stitch Fix  because I need they’re my favorite so far)…in favor of throwing $60 a month at a wine subscription from Bright Cellars. Which arrived yesterday.  I am having company over this weekend, so perhaps we will make it a bit of a wine tasting, so I can find out what sort of wine you get for 4 bottles at $60. I’ll be certain to let you know!

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