I have been fascinated with the powerful symbolism and deep sense of spirit, energy, and connection in Rik Garrett‘s art, since maybe even before the release of his incredible Earth Magic book (from which a stunning Witches Sabbath print sits on a shelf in my office and delights my dark, wild, secret heart every day) so it was such a thrill to catch up with him about his recent work and inspirations for our interview over at Haute Macabre this week!
Inspired by magic, myth and folklore, Bye Bye Banshee is Jezebel Jones’ musical project exploring death and grieving from a feminine perspective, and I was beyond thrilled that she took the time to chat with me and share both her vision and music with Haute Macabre readers!
In a recent music roundup, I briefly mentioned that Bye Bye Banshee’s Deathfolk Magic was in constant rotation in my home and described its sound thusly:
“…is the ghostly melody, hushed and humming softly, ominously, as your rocker creaks a rickety midnight lullaby on the rotted wooden floorboards of a ramshackle cabin. Sleepless at the swamp’s edge, you rock, slowly, steadily on, shrouded in darkness, a shotgun slung across your lap. A loon’s mournful, wavering cry almost obscures a slithering rustle through the tall grass just beyond the crumbling front porch steps, and imagining cold, reptilian eyes, pitiless and patient, watching your vigil this night, you shudder, a moan trapped low in your throat. I’m not sure that’s exactly what Jezebel Jones was singing about, I mean it probably wasn’t… but her haunted, husky warble is so hypnotic and evocative you’ll forgive me for letting my imagination run away with me.”
I didn’t expect that my fleeting but fanciful take on the album would generate such spirited interest and such a grand flurry of questions, but in light of curiosity piqued and excitement aroused, I thought it only fair that we take a deeper dive into both the haunting music and its enduring themes, and better get to know the gifted musician responsible for its creation.
See below for a thoughtful, revealing, and deliciously life-affirming chat with Jezebel Jones, an eclectic songwriter who mixes americana, jazz, classical and rock to create genre-defying music that is unique, emotive and socially conscious. Bye Bye Banshee is her musical project exploring death and grieving from a feminine perspective. It seeks to undo some of the fear associated with dying and to acknowledge death’s purpose and place in our lives. Inspired by magic, myth and folklore, Bye Bye Banshee employs a unique blend of styles to create a musical memento mori, a remembrance that life is fleeting and the mysteries of death will embrace us all.
And should you require a sonic companion for our interview, Jezebel Jones and Bye Bye Banshee have generously shared an exclusive Deathfolk Magic download link for Haute Macabre readers!
Haute Macabre: Please tell us about the name and concept of your musical project, Bye Bye Banshee.
Jezebel Jones: The concept started to come together about five years ago when I was living in Texas, but the seeds were planted earlier, when I lost my house (and nearly my life) in a fire back in 2010. The experience forced me to wake up….and I started writing a song or two about death. But the new music seemed to have a life of its own and so I created a side project of all death-themed songs because that’s what was inspiring me at the time. Death is a muse, I guess. The Bye Bye Banshee name itself emerged from my subconscious. I’d been researching Irish banshee folklore and I’m a sucker for alliteration and sing-songy repetition, so…
Your music is crafted with “myth, magic, and folklore”–I’d love to hear about your inspirations in this vein, where they began, how they took hold, and how they’ve informed your worldview and songwriting?
When I was younger, I was very afraid of death due to the link between death and the devil, a link that was created by many sermons of damnation, “scary” end-of-times propaganda films, even the Bible itself. Since I’m no longer an evangelical Christian, I wanted to explore other folklore and myths and see if I could discover a new way to look at death that was less fear-based and more inclusive. Living in south Texas kicked off my intensive research phase – I began learning and participating in different cultural approaches to death, including the beautiful customs around the Mexican holiday, Día de los Muertos. Often song lyrics just flow out of me–like magic–but those seeds are planted during research, physical experience and reflection. I feel transformed by the process of writing and performing this music; I hope people will feel comforted and transformed by listening to it.
I often check the tags on places like last.fm to see how a certain musician is classified (and I’ll admit, the weirder and lengthier the tag, the more excited I get!) I know that some reviewers and listeners might tag you as #americana, #folk, or #truedetective (!!) How might you classify your music? Gimme some hashtags!
Great but difficult question! Hmmm…maybe…. #psychfolkrock #playthisatmyfuneral #weirdmusicforweirdpeople #creepybeautifulsongs #dirgeAF
Your latest album, Deathfolk Magic, boasts an incredible cover. Just absolutely lovely, the colors, the sense of place and atmosphere, and that gorgeous dress! What can you share about that photoshoot, about that day, about the feelings you were attempting to evoke with that imagery?
Awww, thank-you. Sure, first of all, I have to give props to my photographer friend Lars Kommienezuspadt. He’s just an incredible artist and loves–and gets–my music. We were going for a very earth-goddess vibe for the shoot. He came up with the perfect location, a long-abandoned munitions factory in rural Minnesota; we both brought props including my favorite animal skull and his adorable tarantula–she was a rock star! It was cold and rainy the day of the shoot and we decided to just go for it–I’m glad we did because the sky was moody and perfect. The vintage silk chiffon dress was an amazing find at a Seattle thrift store years before–I think I paid less than $15 for it–can you believe that? I’ve always had thrift store magic…
And of course Deathfolk Magic is more than just a beautiful album cover; it includes four eerie elegies examining death from a feminine, pagan perspective: “If I Die In My Dreams,” “Bye Bye Banshee,” “Psychopomps,” and “Skull Rattles”. These songs explore ideas ranging from our fear of death being linked to our fear of the Devil, to an expression of gratitude to spirit guides surrounding and comforting dying persons as they transition into the land of the dead, and a celebration of natural burial as our final gift to the earth. How do your beliefs, feminist, pagan, or otherwise, aid, or assist or even inspire you in writing/singing about themes generally considered melancholy, mysterious, or morbid (which is a term I personally hate to use but I know that lots of people might view these subjects in such a way!)
Wow–grappling with this a bit. My beliefs aren’t rigid anymore, though I find myself drawn to paganism and Wiccan ritual. I’m agnostic I guess (don’t believe in a deity, per se), but open to exploring our spiritual connections, including our connection to the earth and other animals. It saddens me that in much of the Western world, people avoid having conversations about death because we’ve been raised to fear it. Avoidance doesn’t change the fact that we are all going to die; addressing mortality in a healthy way reduces pain and suffering and can encourage us to live more fully. Bye Bye Banshee uses primarily female characters to tell these stories because I believe in the power of women to change our world. As a side note, I’ve always been a “morbid” child and was obsessed with murder mysteries, the supernatural and mortality for as long as I can remember. This project brought me back to some of my childhood interests.
Bye Bye Banshee participates in–and supports–the Death Positive movement. Can you tell us what death positivity means to you and your craft?
I think death positivity means addressing mortality in a healthy manner. For some, this may mean educating yourself on death and grief, asserting your rights by creating a will or health care directive, and/or simply by promoting conversations about end of life with friends and loved ones. For me personally, the exploration that went into the writing process freed me from some of my former beliefs and opened up my mind to other possibilities. I hope the music will make listeners FEEL something…whether it’s a feeling of fright (“If I Die in My Dreams”), peacefulness (“Psychopomps”) or surrender (“Skull Rattles”); there was a lot of emphasis on capturing emotions during the recording process.
If someone wanted to do some “further reading” regarding the idea and issues covered in Deathfolk Magic –both general and specific–what books/films/music/art/? might you point them toward?
If someone is interested in the overall topic, a good place to start might be the Order of the Good Death website or checking out Caitlin Doughty’s books or Ask-a-Mortician videos on YouTube. If you’re more interested in the folklore–and/or social justice–aspect, I’d recommend following death positive activist Sarah Chavez on Twitter or Instagram. Finally, if you’re seriously interested in banshee folklore, I’d recommend tracking down the book, The Banshee by Patricia Lysaght. It’s pretty scholarly but is full of facts and stories of the Irish death messenger.
Can you tell us about any upcoming projects? Appearances? Tour dates? What’s next for Jezebel Jones and Bye Bye Banshee?
Well, I just moved to Nashville recently, so I’ve been busy trying to get settled here. But I’m writing a lot of new music, too, mostly for my main project (Jezebel Jones). This new music is rebellious, female-focused and powerful…while it’s still heavily influenced by bluegrass, country and blues, it’s definitely more rock and roll. I have most of the songs written for the upcoming record, which I’ll be recording sometime this year. The plan is to hit the road this summer/fall to support the new album, including dates in Europe for both Jezebel Jones and Bye Bye Banshee. For the latter, I’ve put together a theatre-style show format that includes 12 songs woven together by spoken word pieces. Looking forward to 2019!
Find Jezebel Jones and Bye Bye Banshee: Website // Facebook // Instagram // Twitter
categories: music, unquiet things
Feel Nothing by Health | Glass Candy by Naked City | Bury A Friend by Billie Eilish | Alone Together by Ritual Howls | Concerning The White Horse by Jozef Van Wissem & Jim Jarmusch | Gorgon Madonna by Yugen Blakrok | We Appreciate Power by Grimes | Buried In The Sand by HÆlos | Hope Is A Dangerous Thing For A Woman Like Me To Have But I Have It by Lana Del Rey | Be Still, My Tongue by Snorri Hallgrímsson | Burning Sea (feat. Tomasz Mreńca) by Daniel Spaleniak | Adorations by Burial Hex
categories: unquiet things
Last week I resigned myself to paying $5.99 for the privilege of watching 2018’s Suspiria film on Amazon. When I first heard about the remake, what feels like ages ago now, I struggled with the idea of it. The original holds a special, lurid, hyper-saturated place in my heart, and though I’d only seen it once and didn’t recall many of the details, I held its memory close, a hazy, disturbing delight.
The more I began to hear about this new version, though–the swoony addition of Tilda Swinton to the cast, the eerie soundtrack by Thom Yorke, the sharp focus on the art and ritual of the dancing, itself–the more intrigued I grew. I’ve a funny relationship with reboots of beloved stories, anyway; part of me always wants more of a thing I adore, but the other part of me is skeptical that you can really bring anything new or more perfect to the table, where these beloved celluloid favorites are concerned. I was conflicted, as I am sure many folks, were, but I’d heard enough hints and whispers and seen enough teasers to allow myself to become convinced.
Well. I won’t spoil anything for you, but I did not love this new Suspiria. It’s as if they took the parts and pieces from the old Suspiria that the film didn’t really focus on or spend much time examining or exploring: the dancing, for instance; the era, the current events at the time, a good look at the witches and their intentions, maybe even the city of West Berlin itself. And they somehow took all of these elements, which could rightfully be very fascinating – – I understand why someone would want to take them and play them up or play them against each other – – but they somehow made them all very seem very dull.
So much was I not enjoying all of these, in fact, that it took me about three hours to slog through the first bland fifty minutes, and three days later when I tried to pick up where I left off, I became aware of Amazon’s rental policy wherein once a movie is rented, it is only available for three days. So I was cut off before I even had a chance to finish it! But…that’s OK. I had seen enough.
I will say, though, the one character I was rooting for was Dr. Klemperer’s omnipresent cheese sandwich, which stole the scene in at least two instances, and for all I know, could have saved the entire film (had I been able to finish watching it.) Thanks for that, Amazon. Anyway, little cheese sammie–as far as I am concerned, you were the star of the show!
For as perfect as the original film was, it surely did not boast a cheese sandwich!
categories: bookish
For the winter holidays this past year I suggested to my baby sister that if she wanted to get me something in addition to the planner that you’ve all heard so much about recently, why not one of her very favorite books? The sort of comfort read that she might return to year after year, savor time and time again. She presented me with Rosamunde Pilcher’s Coming Home.
“Against the backdrop of an elegant Cornwall mansion before World War II and a vast continent-spanning canvas during the turbulent war years, this involving story tells of an extraordinary young woman’s coming of age, coming to grips with love and sadness, and in every sense of the term, coming home…”
I hadn’t yet started the book, but I learned that Rosamunde Pilcher passed away yesterday, so I thought I’d begin reading it this very afternoon in honor of both the author and the story that so captivated my sister. And in honor of the one who so thoughtfully gave me a tiny piece of her history to cherish, I thought I would dine on what I imagine one of her favorite snacks used to be at the time she discovered her love for this specific book: a generous helping of bright orange Cheezits. To sip, a serving of delicious diet chemicals, which I do not believe she ever developed a taste for.
And you? If you were to gift a loved one with your most beloved, returned-to-time-and-time-again story, what would it be? Do you recall where you were in your life’s path when that book became so vital to you? And of course, it’s always helpful to pair a special snack with your comfort reading–what would you recommend your loved one to pair with your book?
categories: unquiet things
A few months ago a friend asked me if I make money with my blog, and if so, how. They followed it up with the statement that they “can’t imagine” that I don’t.
That’s hilarious! Because I surely do not!
I have been writing online and off, for most of my life. I have never been paid to write anything. I might be given a gift or a freebie for something I have written, after the fact. I might be supplied with products that I did not have to pay for, in order to write reviews about them. These things happen occasionally, and I’m generally not one to turn down free stuff! I also feel compelled to mention that almost 100% of the time, these are places I have already purchased items –perfumes, tee shirts, candles, soaps, whatever–from, previously. I would certainly never write about stuff that I would not actually use my own money to buy. But back to the “getting paid” part– I cannot think of one single time when one single person* has paid me one single, solitary penny for something I have written or to write something for them.
…and if I am being honest, I wouldn’t want them to.
I am coming from a place where I feel like when I start accepting money for something I enjoy doing, that’s going to create expectations and obligations and it’s going to cast a grim pall over the very thing I enjoy. And I very loosely use the word “enjoy” here. I do not really take pleasure in writing. It’s uncomfortable and sometimes downright agonizing for a number of reasons. One, I’d really prefer to be doing anything but writing. Sure, I’d rather do the fun things I love, like knit, or read, or watch a movie– but sometimes I am avoiding the writing process so intensely that I will manufacture chores and tasks and errands which don’t even need doing, let alone doing now, instead of writing whatever it is that I am supposed to be writing, Also, it’s a mortifying, humiliating process. There’s nothing like seeing the nebulous thoughts and ideas and emotions that have been percolating murkily in your brain, exposed to the light and pinned down to the page or the screen in front of you…and then realizing that those unwieldy, imprecise words don’t match up with anything you thought you were thinking, and don’t even begin to convey any of the rich nuances of your, you know, really important opinions. And then of course you compare yourself to others, and you say cruel things to yourself, and it’s just this entire process of dashed expectations and self-loathing, and it’s all rather fraught, and dammit, you knew you should have been scrubbing that toilet, why did you even sit down to write in the first place? So I guess, if I were being honest, I would probably rather be doing anything but writing.
Which is funny…because I simply cannot remember a time when I wasn’t writing. As a child I often wrote stories about a girl my age named Jenny. She didn’t have adventures, she didn’t get into scrapes. She woke up for school in the morning, she played with her dolls (these stories had …just bizarrely elaborate lists detailing Jenny’s Barbie doll collection), she planned parties; Jenny was incredibly dopey and boring, but hey, those were the things that interested me at the time. As I grew older, I would write many unfinished horror stories in the style of Stephen King, and in my late teens and early twenties, I fancied myself a bit of a poet. In between those years there were always journals and diaries and letters and notes passed back and forth in high school, and let me tell you, my notes were epic. God help the poor boy who had to respond to one of those.
Though I haven’t been blogging at Unquiet Things for a long time, I have been weblogging for a long time. Maybe not as long as some, granted. It took me a long time to be OK with, and not freaked out by, computers and the internet. It wasn’t until a job I had while I was in college that I began to get comfortable with typing my thoughts as opposed to scribbling, which was pretty great timing, because this was in the latter half of 1999 and Livejournal had been founded earlier that year. Also in attempting to pinpoint a date just now, I am looking back and realizing that I graduated high school in 1994, and four years later, in 1999, I was still in community college. Full disclosure: it would be another three years before I actually graduated with my two-year degree. Yep.
Livejournal took my obsession with journaling to a new and interesting level. I never diaried my thoughts hoping to keep them private–I actively wanted people to read them. Sadly, no one actually wanted to, or cared about my not-so-carefully concealed notebooks. And why should they? It was, at its basic level, just highly legible but profoundly mundane personal drivel and daily gripes that were interesting only to me. But now, people all over the world were going to read my dumb thoughts and opinions–and they did! And they commented on them! It was everything I ever wanted.
My interest in fiddling with the LJ code to customize and tart up the look of my page led to me learning some html–nothing fancy, just enough recognize the basics and be able to tweak things if needed, which was especially useful when website design software like Dreamweaver became available to me. So now I could build my own website and blog! And I did! I even called myself myself an amateur web designer and I built a website for that purpose, too (and believe it or not, I made some money doing it, but that is a super weird story for another time.)
My blog has gone through many iterations over the years, beginning as a small purple thing on geocities, which few but a certain gormless ex-boyfriend may remember, as I had built a little [name redacted] insult generator on one of the pages as a spiteful side activity. And over the years it’s had many names…I was akissofshadows (Anita Blake shoutout!) on LJ, along with myblogskip, and then several other Lovecraftian or MRJamesian names that I’d cycle through in order to escape detection by another ex, this one must nastier and more awful than the previous, and who monitored my online activities like a hawk, because was a a snoopy asshole. And no, that’s not even fair to the snoopies out there, it was more than that; he had no sense of boundaries or privacy and thought he was entitled to every piece of me. Nosiness is one thing. His abusive behavior was something else.Yeah, I’m still mad about that. Never not gonna hate that guy.
Anyway! I digress! The point is, I have had a lot of journals and blogs over the years. But I never started writing with the idea that I think a lot of bloggers have now , a sort of “I’m going to make a living off of this! Where my sponsors at??” type of mentality. Hey, if that describes you, great. Good luck to you, and I wish you much success. But that was never me. I don’t write for money, I don’t have sponsors, I don’t have ads on my sites, I don’t even have a “donate” button, for pete’s sake. Never have, never will.
I have never struggled with my site’s image or branding. I know many bloggers who have started their site focusing on one type of thing, and perhaps they’ve built their whole personal brand or whatever around it. But then they become burnt out, or their interests change, and then they experience a great deal of angst and teeth-gnashing when it comes to blogging about something different or shifting their focus, and subsequently feeling the need to change the whole look and feel of their blog/website and online presence. I have never experienced this. I write about the things that I think are weird, or sad, or funny, or beautiful. That’s basically all it is, and it encompasses a broad spectrum of things–I will never be at a loss of food for thought and the resultant blog fodder. And even if, let’s say, I made a big change, like a super major change, say, oh, I don’t know–maybe I wanted to start writing about Christian parenting and scrapbooking. So what? What’s to agonize over? This is my space on the internet, no one is paying me or expecting things from me, so I can write about whatever shit that takes my fancy!
And that’s another thing. Sometimes I will see bloggers post things like “what do you guys want to see more of on the blog this year?” Fuck that shit. I don’t really care what anyone wants to see. They’ll see what I write about, that’s what they’ll see. And I know that sounds a little harsh, and I don’t mean to sound unkind or like I don’t appreciate all of the folks who have tuned in over the years (I love all 5 of you!) but I think that if you have followed my writing for any amount of time, whether we are real life friends, or if you know me from LJ or tumblr or polyvore or from my time writing at Coilhouse or more currently at Haute Macabre–I think you understand where I am coming from, and have a basic idea of what I’m about. And you probably don’t care! So if I don’t care and the people who count don’t care, then I’m not particularly worried. Everyone else can either get with the program or peep on over at another blog! The internet is pretty great like that.
So, no. I don’t make any money here. I don’t actually make any money writing anywhere else, either, and I never have. Ever. And that’s OK! I have a full time job. I don’t love it, I don’t even particularly like it, but I’ve never been under any illusions about the the need to like what I do for a living. That’s crazy talk. Work is dumb, don’t fool yourself into thinking otherwise. I work to make the money to be able to do the things I really want to do. Which brings me back to a point I was initially making, which was this: I do not necessarily want to get paid to write. I reserve the right to change my mind about this one day, but when someone says they want to pay you to do something**, they will of course have certain expectations of you and your work product. And then you feel obligated to meet those expectations. Do I want to feel obligated to work on something I am doing in my spare time, in my not-work time, in my obligation-less time? Fuck no. FUCK NO.
So this is my ridiculously lengthy answer to what might appear at the outset to be a very simple question. Anonymous friend who initially asked this question, I hope that you do not take this response as a personal attack or perhaps me passive-aggressively fuming about an innocent question that you had asked two months ago. It’s not like that at all! And, I promise, you’re not the only one who has asked this***. You were just the one who inspired me to type out this massive dump of rambling thoughts about it. I bet you’re sorry you asked, though!
*I do use Amazon associate links from time to time in my blog posts; every once in a while Amazon will send me a $5 gift card. Does that count? I don’t really think it counts.)
**Although if someone wants to pay me for something I have already written, that’s cool.
*** Who does she think she is, even writing this response, you might be wondering. No one even cares, no one thinks you SHOULD be paid to write anything! You may be right to think so. You probably are. I’m the little person, a nobody. Just one among millions of mediocre bloggers. I am not pretending otherwise. But more than one person has asked me this question, I swear. Maybe even three or four! But probably less than ten.
categories: elsewhere
At Haute Macabre today, the collection about which I wait impatiently all year to write–our year-end Needful Things! I mean, we write seasonal versions of Needful Things too, so it’s not like it’s been a whole year since I’ve shared the stuff and things I love, but…whatever! I’m still excited to share!
2018 was a year of ugly, escalating anxiety for me; every time I thought I had a handle on my worries; they shape-shifted into a dreadful something else for me to panic about. I often got myself so worked up that I couldn’t have even told you what I was panicking about – there were just so many things plaguing me, they had begun to coalesce into a massive rat king of dread and torment.
And so my assortment of Needful Things that I share today are the small things, not even necessarily tangible things, that induced calm in my heart while the rest of my world was in turmoil; the things, however small or seemingly inconsequential, that relieved worry or distress in some small degree, or introduced a modicum of peace and stillness when everything felt like it was falling apart. The things I employed or enjoyed during this past year that made life feel, while not “fixed,” or “perfect,” but rather just…better.
If you ever had wanted a runway/haute couture installation version of Tale of Tale’s eerie video game The Path, (an interactive, and relentlessly unsettling retelling of Little Red Riding Hood) …
…I believe that witnessing the gothic-folkloric-with-a-rebellious streak fantasy of Ulyana Sergeenko’s Spring 2019 collection* debut in Paris under the direction of Ellen Von Unwerth will, in a vague way, scratch that strangely storied fairy tale forest itch.
*So it’s apparently inspired by Nobel prize winner Mikhail Sholokhov’s epic novel And Quiet Flows the Don,a story of Cossack women set during the dramatic days of the revolution and civil war in the early 20th century–but even if just for a moment as they circuitously gathered on the gloomy forest path of that cleverly designed stage–I saw what I saw!
In actuality, though, I suppose the garments resemble nothing even close to the casually dressed shadow-chic of The Path’s characters, nor it’s bleakly beautiful, forbidding atmosphere. Someone needs to make that collection happen!
categories: death and dying
A gathering of death related links that I have encountered in the past month or so. From somber to hilarious, from informative to creepy, here’s a snippet of things that have been reported on or journaled about in or related to the Death Industry recently.
This time last year: Links of the Dead {January 2018} | {January 2017} | {January 2016}
💀 Morphine And A Side Of Grief Counseling: Nursing Students Learn How To Handle Death
💀 The World Of Victorian Grave Dolls
💀 What People Actually Say Before They Die
💀 Haunting new research indicates we will actually know when we have died
💀 Hand-made elegantly decorated Japanese urns
💀 How a nontraditional funeral helped this mom process her daughter’s tragic death.
💀 I Could Face My Own Mortality, but My Son’s Was Another Story
💀 I’m 33, Healthy, and Planning My Own Funeral
💀 Is This How We Conquer Our Fear of Death?
💀 Death Finds A Signature Look
💀 7 Powerful Books By Women That Deal With Death And Grieving
💀 What’s Under the Bejeweled Clothes of a Catacomb Saint?
💀 Trump’s Border Wall Would Destroy Historic Gravesites In South Texas
categories: foodish, unquiet things
I’m a morning person. (“Booo! Hisssss!!” Don’t think I can’t hear you!) No, but really, I am. Once I’m awake, I’m not really the sort of person to lie in bed scrolling through facebook until my limbs feel like moving in human ways again. But the key here is, “once I’m awake”–because I can very easily roll over and go right back to sleep, and perhaps even sneak back into the same dream I was dreaming before the alarm interrupted my slumber. But once I am actually out of bed, there is no going back, and I honestly prefer it that way. Mornings are the best. The earlier the better. I’m not even the sort who can lounge around in my pajamas once I’m no longer burrowed under the covers; nope, once I am out of bed, I am committed.
And it’s not because there’s “a whole day of possibilities” before me (barf! and also, they’re probably all bad) but because at 5 o’clock in the morning, no one is calling you on the phone. That’s right. I hate phone calls so much, I will wake up at five in the morning just to enjoy some ring-free quiet time.
I don’t typically want breakfast within these first few hours of waking; that would feel too much like rushing things along, and I don’t think my digestive bits are even ready to clock in at this point. During this pre-dawn time of day, I prefer to take things slow. I like the still, quiet atmosphere of a world just beginning to regain consciousness, and I softly make my way through this world on tiptoes so as not to alert it to my presence. No teevee, no radio or music or news, and for god’s sake, don’t talk to me! I have my small routines at this time, and they are undertaken in utter silence.
Upon waking, I either immediately 1. throw on some ratty exercise clothes and go for a brisk walk, or, 2. splash water on my face and spend about ten minutes with my morning skincare routine. Both are activities that cause my brain to start working, albeit in different ways, maybe even on different levels An early morning constitutional, while the blood is pumping to my brain, is when I often get my exciting “aha!” ideas. The less active routine of my six or seven steps of cleansers and toners and serums and gels and whatever else, gently generates the brain and starts it to slowly ticking and whirring as I go through my process of morning ablutions.
At this point I may have a small glass of aloe juice and get the coffee started. I may curl up on the sofa to read a book, or work on a knitting project. I definitely don’t start checking emails or plugging into the world just yet. This is time just for me, to do the things I like to do, uninterrupted, sans any other obligations. Responsibilities don’t even come into picture during this time. And finally, around 7:30 or so is when I start thinking breakfast-y thoughts.
Most breakfast items seem to be geared toward people with a sweet tooth. I can’t eat cereal; it has too many associations of my mother sitting at the table, bleary-eyed, chain-smoking and drinking coffee, while I choked down a bowl of Wheat Chex before elementary school and was almost on a daily basis immediately struck afterward with a stomach ache as I contemplated the dread and ultimate futility of the day as it stretched out before me. Existence felt grim to me from a young age, and to this day, I can only eat a bowl of cereal late into the night in mid-summer, as a snack, maybe because it was too hot for dinner. I’m not a fan of pancakes or waffles or french toast or muffins or donuts* or yogurt or granola bars or any kind of breakfast bar, really. They’re all too sweet. Blargh.
*not gonna lie–I do eat donuts–I like them, even!–but they have to be an afternoon snacks-with-coffee type thing. I can’t do a donut as a first meal of the day. I really can’t do sweets on an empty stomach, period. It makes me feel a little ill and weird.
I have, however, found a handful of savory, and one or two barely-sweet options that I enjoy and are staples in my breakfast-time rotation! They’re not necessarily appropriate for every day (either they’re a little too rich or time-consuming) but between these five options and a few bonus quickies, I’ve pretty much unlocked the secrets of the most important meal of the day.
1. Japanese-style breakfast, which I know I have mentioned before, but it’s amazing, and I would eat it every day if I could. Unfortunately, it’s a little bit involved, so I generally only do this one on the weekends. Generally, I include rice and miso soup, broiled salmon, homemade pickled vegetables, and tamagoyaki (rolled Japanese omelet). You could also serve natto alongside this meal, but I can’t get past the stinkiness/sliminess factor, so it’s never on my table! There’s something about this combination of foods that is wonderfully savory, and perfectly balanced to fill you up while at the same time you feel like you are eating something light.
Here are a few of my favorite recipes for creating such a meal:
2. Rice & egg. This is a hearty-soothing breakfast. I don’t think I’d eat it more than once a week, but if I am being honest, the BEST time to prepare this meal is when you are experiencing the head-throbbing, sorta-nauseous-but-you-still-wanna-eat misery of a hangover. It works best if you have some leftover rice to start with; this way you don’t have to spend any extra time cooking up a batch. Heat a portion of leftover white rice (you could probably use brown, but I prefer white) in the microwave, and while that is going, fry an egg on the stove. Keep it yolky. Once your rice is hot, stir in soy sauce and a butter product of your preference to taste–you may want slightly more butter than soy sauce, but not a lot of either–top with your fried egg, and sprinkle liberally with furikake (rice seasoning.) Devour with a comically oversized wooden spoon. EDIT: now I also add a drizzle of sesame oil and a dollop of chili crisp to this!
3. Toast with peanut butter and preserves. This is more of an everyday type of breakfast for me. It’s quick, it’s filling, it’s only slightly sweet if I pick a jam with a little bit of tartness. The best bread for this is Ezekial* because it’s dense and study and crunchy and it doesn’t flop under a generous smear of peanut butter. Of course, I am not sure I’d eat the Ezekial bread any way other than toasted. I’d venture that it’s a mite unpalatable, cold. I typically just keep it in the freezer until I need a slice or two, then I just pop it straight into the toaster. Once browned to your liking, spread with your favorite peanut butter and jam. I happen to like Peanut Butter & Co.’s The Bee’s Knees and bilberry jam. Enjoy on a tiny Bride of Frankenstein tray.
*I just ignore the scripture on those Ezekial bags; I save then up and use them to scoop up dog poop during when we have visiting puppers.
4. Porridge. This is actually steel-cut oats, but I call it porridge because it makes me feel like I am eating fairy tale food and not a gruely bowl of slop. It’s another everyday go-to, especially when it starts to get cold out. We cook up a huge batch of oats at the beginning of the week, and I generally eat it thusly: portion out a bit, stir in some of your preferred sort of milk, cinnamon, golden raisins, chopped dates, chopped pecans, slivered almonds, and the barest drizzle of maple syrup. Heat in the microwave until hot, and top with a spoonful of ground flax seed. I like my porridge on the thinner side, so I err on the side of more milk, but that’s totally up to you.
5. Fake bagel! Obviously, real bagels are preferred, but those are a weekend treat and I feel like I can get away with eating “fake bagels” far more frequently. And whereas porridge is standard fare in the winter months, when it starts warming up again, you know, like February (because Florida), I start leaning toward fake bagels for morning eats. Start with some sort of “sandwich thins”–I think mine are Arnold brand, but I just grab whatever is in the store–and here’s the thing. You may want this untoasted. Those sandwich thins sort of frizzle up and get stuck in your toaster, and honestly, I think this tastes better cold. Spread with one wedge of Laughing Cow cheese split between two sides of the bread, sprinkle with Trader Joe’s Everything But The Bagel seasoning blend (this stuff is a marvel!) and top with thinly sliced tomatoes and red onions. This is the vegetarian version, but you could also add a few slices of smoked salmon, and that’s also delicious. Having made it both ways, I can share that while the salmon version is very good, you really don’t miss it if it’s not there. It may not be the healthiest thing in the world, what with the shelf stable cheese and all, but I think it’s remarkably tasty! And after eating this you’ll probably be remarkably stinky, but it’s totally worth it.
Some quick bonus bites, for when you don’t have the time/energy for any of the above:
So, wow. I’ve just written nearly 1800 words about breakfast. I’m really tackling the hard-hitting stuff here, aren’t I? Do you folks have any favorite savory breakfasts? (Sorry sweeties and sugar fiends…you know I love you, but I don’t even want to hear about your cinnamon raisin bagels –GACK– or your Special-K bars.) Tell me all about your favorite weekend and weekend morning meals and maybe I’ll enliven my breakfast agenda with a new addition!