As another year draws to a close, it’s time for my annual tradition of sharing the things that made life a little more interesting, beautiful, or manageable throughout these past twelve months. While scrolling through my camera roll and peering into dusty browser bookmarks, I’m reminded that our tastes and needs aren’t easily categorized – one day, I’m seeking out antique porcelain dolls; the next, I’m hunting down mushroom-themed kitchenware or researching the coziest socks. So I have tried my best to organize everything but it’s sort of all over the place!
These yearly round-ups have become something of a diary for me, marking not just the things I acquired but the shifting interests and small obsessions that carried me through the seasons. Some are practical solutions to everyday problems, others pure whimsy; a few might spark recognition (“oh, you loved that too?”), while others might seem delightfully bizarre. That’s the beauty of these personal inventories – they’re as much about the story they tell as the items themselves.
Before I dive into this rather extensive list of needful things, I should mention that not everything here is a 2024 discovery. (Some I might have even mentioned in last year’s Needful Things!) Some are old favorites that proved their worth yet again, while others are new finds that quickly became essential. There’s no rhyme or reason to the order, just an honest accounting of the things that brought value, joy, or inspiration to my days.
❇ I bought the Scorpio coat from Lala because I was hoping to wear it to Asheville this past Thanksgiving, but for obvious reasons, the trip fell through. It’s still a great coat.
❇ I’ve always loved the look of Dr. Martens, but I find them complicated and uncomfortable. These Dr. Marten Chelsea boots are easy and perfect.
I’ve written before about my tendency to tolerate things rather than change them, but this year I really tried to not make my life harder than it had to be!
❇ I am on the phone all day for my day job, and I have a permanent crick in my neck from cradling the receiver between my ear and shoulder. I finally decided to join the future and bought a headset. I still hate to work, but OMG, this has made things a million times easier. I hate that my best purchase of the year is the most boring one, but it is true.
❇ Between the books, the knitting, the perfume, the books– and did I mention books??– my desk is a mess. I bought a little shelf to roll under my desk for my books. Second best purchase of 2024.
❇ This is a masking tape and Sharpie mount to stick on your refrigerator, so it’s always handy to date and label the broth you’re freezing. There are probably lots of uses for it, but that’s what I do.
❇ A scissor holster??? Seems like the silliest thing ever? Except when you stop to consider how often you find yourself asking, “Where’s the scissors?” They’re on the fridge, next to the masking tape!
SUSTENANCE & PROVISIONS
❇ We’ve been doing soup for breakfast for the past few years, and I like to serve some little sides to go alongside it. These savory, tangy mushrooms are so good! And re: little sides, I love these little scalloped dishes to serve them in.
❇ As someone who does not love pancakes, waffles, or biscuits, I’m forever seeking OTHER uses for leftover buttermilk, and this roasted chicken recipe was probably the best chicken I’ve ever made.
❇ I have been making this Thai coconut shrimp soup at least once a week for the past four months.
❇ I perfected my roast potatoes this year. I’m not a potato fan unless they are mashed into oblivion or have all their inherent potato-iness fried out of them, but even I can admit these are pretty okay.
❇ We’re already big fans of Çılbır, or Turkish eggs, so I was interested when I saw people talking about “Turkish pasta,” or basically a lazy or deconstructed version of a Turkish dumpling dish called Manti. We’ve been making it with Impossible Meat, which is what we had on hand to work with, but I can’t wait to try it out with lamb.
❇ Two YouTube channels for culinary inspiration: we love watching Beryl attempt to make dishes from different cultures around the world, and I also really enjoy Nushi Kitchen Life’s gentle, inspired Japanese meals.
❇ When Ývan broke his foot this summer, our schedule got a bit disrupted. The Korean grocery store is in a weirdly situated spot where the traffic makes me nervous, so I started ordering what I needed online instead. Sayweee is an Asian grocery delivery service that has amazingly fresh stuff and a really wonderful variety of basically everything you can want. I’m sharing a referral link where if you sign up for it through me, you get $10 or something like that.
❇ I tried two new lip masks this year, one from Fenty and this manuka honey one. The Fenty one is heavier and stickier, and this one is more…slippy. If you know what I mean? I prefer slippy over sticky.
❇ I’ve gravitated away from crazy lip colors over the past few years and mainly just stick with Black Honey but I love this beetle-winged Medusae lip sheer from Rituel de Fille.
❇ This very silly headband and wristband set that’s actually ridiculously useful for washing your face and stopping the water from dripping all over you.
❇ This sun and stars claw clip from Winona Irene that’s giving 90’s celestial decor and pyramid catalog.
❇ This summer, I gave into my love of Elizabeth W’s Té scent and purchased one of every product that they put it in.
❇ Every year, I sing the praises of the foot soak. Light candles,scent your tub, scrubyour tooties, and put on the softest socks afterward. It’s a good time.
❇ I sampled a lot of perfumes this year! Some standouts are:
– Stora Skuggan Hexensalbe smells like the Sleep No More witch’s rave (review)
– Diptyque Tempo is a patchouli that has walked the halls of Hill House (review)
– Arcana Wildcraft On the Wing is the broken-winged beating of the hollow heart, the devastating language of wounds, the darkness that embraces everything. (review)
– Filigree & Shadow Pieces of My Heart like standing at the threshold of revelation, where the raw, messy horrors of being human crystallize into a single, breathtaking moment of grace. (review)
DIGITAL DISTRACTIONS
❇ Poetic Puppets on Instagram is all muppet imagery juxtaposed with poetry, and it is beautiful and melancholic and funny and perfect.
❇ Here is a quartet of newsletters whose arrival in my inbox I always look forward to…!
– In New Bands for Old Heads, Gabbie shares new music for the sensibilities of people who stopped listening to new music in the nineties and early 2000s.
– In the 70s Sci-Fi Art newsletter, Adam Rowe shares incredible imagery and chatty, cheeky commentary about wild, weird world of retro science fiction art.
– J. Simpson’s Hauntology Now covers all the spooky books and movies and peculiar sounds and sentiments that people like us (whatever that means to you, you’re probably right) are interested in.
– Lady Whistlethreads is a gossipy scandal sheet of all the drama that’s happening on the writer/author side of social media. It’s not something you read to feel smarter; it’s a grab-your-popcorn thing.
❇ I used to keep a water bottle at my desk, but in my (probably perimenopausal middle age), I am peeing ALL THE TIME, so I am hydrating slightly less. Now, I keep a cute little carafe in the kitchen and grab a drink whenever I walk by it. Also, is my pee WETTER than it used to be? So much weird shit they do not tell you about getting older.
❇ Sometimes, Ývan has late-night D&D sessions, and after he broke his foot, I got into the habit of keeping the light on for him after I’d gone to bed. I didn’t want him lurching around in the dark, possibly breaking the other foot. My gorgeous mulberry silk Altar + Orb eye mask got a lot of use this summer and autumn!
❇ Thanks to Roses & Rue’s exquisite taste and keen eye for hauntingly beautiful antiques, this year brought an especially marvelous collection of treasures, each piece whispering its own cryptic tale while gracing my walls, adorning my vanity, and housing my most precious things
❇ Rebecca Chaperon’s artwork transports me to crystalline realms where playful spirits dance with shadows; her pieces are portals to kaleidoscopic dreamscapes, and I was lucky enough to commission a bite-sized version of one of her works for my Patreon (while the full-sized original graces my wall.)
❇ Alyssa Thorne’s midnight floriography speaks directly to my flower-loving heart – her lustrous blooms and kindred glooms capture both shadow and illumination in every exposure, each print a tenebrous twilight garden that I’ve slowly collected to create my own personal gallery of beautiful darkness.
❇ Open Sea Design Co.’s exquisitely moody stationery has kept me organized in the most darkly beautiful way possible – their witchy notepads, occult-inspired planners, and Victorian-themed notecards transform mundane to-do lists and correspondence into acts of everyday magic.
CINEMATIC SPELLS
Most of my intentional movie-watching takes place during October when I undertake my annual ritual of 31 Days of Horror, a month-long immersion into shadows and spooky stories that serves as my personal ceremony for ushering in the darker half of the year. Here are some standouts that left their mark:
❇ Oddity haunted me with its tale of a blind medium who arrives at her murdered twin’s former home with a screaming wooden mannequin in tow – a slow-burning Irish horror that masterfully builds dread through isolation, betrayal, and one extremely unsettling piece of folk art.
❇ In She Will, the mesmerizing Alice Krige embodies an aging film star who finds dark redemption at a Scottish healing center built upon witch’s ashes – a brooding folk horror that transforms trauma into supernatural power through misty woods and Clint Mansell’s ethereal score
❇ Abigailturned out to be exactly the kind of gleefully gory vampire romp I’d hoped for – what begins as a crime heist (starring Matthew Crawley and Gus Fring kidnapping a tiny dancer!) spirals into delicious chaos when their smol captive reveals her true nature, trading her ballet slippers for glittery sneakers perfect for a night of stylish carnage.
WORD WITCHERY
❇ Two collections of quietly unsettling stories captured my imagination this year: Kathryn Harlan’s Fruiting Bodies, where mushrooms bloom on human flesh and childhood fears take strange new shapes, and Mystery Lights by Lena Valencia, whose economical prose illuminates eerie vignettes of the American Southwest where cave tours go wrong and desert retreats harbor sinister undercurrents.
❇ Psychedelica Satanicaby Sybil Oxblood-Pope Pope was a delightfully deranged surprise – a B-movie horror romp in book form that follows two sisters dabbling in dark magic, featuring the scene-stealing Vinegar Bill (a wonderfully snarky demon-goat) and enough absurdist humor to balance out the infernal menace.
❇ Marina Yuszczuk’s Thirst weaves together two haunting tales – a vampire seeking refuge in 19th century Buenos Aires and a modern woman facing her mother’s mortality – through prose as lush and Gothic as du Maurier’s, creating an exquisite meditation on immortality, desire, and the shadows between life and death.
❇ Josh Malerman’s Incidents Around the House plunged me back into the overwhelming uncertainty of childhood through the story of a young girl and the thing in her closet that wants “inside her heart” – a masterfully sustained exercise in mounting dread that had me holding my breath and weeping with terror as I turned each page. (That’s not an exaggeration, this book scared me so bad it made me cry!)
❇ Susan Barker’s Old Soulspins an intricate web from an Osaka airport encounter into a centuries-spanning hunt for an immortal collector of photographs whose passage through time leaves broken lives and inexplicable losses – a patient, elegant horror story that gathers its power through accumulated testimonies of grief and predation. (This is a review for an advanced copy, the book publishes in January 2025)
❇ Elizabeth Sulis Kim’s anthology Spiritus Mundi explores how writers channel creativity through mystical means – from scrying to tarot reading, featuring standouts like Pam Grossman’s phenomenal “Invocation to Iris” and creating its own kind of magic by sparking uncanny synchronicities during my reading experience.
❇ The Sphinx and the Milky Way reveals Charles Burchfield’s intimate observations of nature’s hidden frequencies – from singing sunflowers to humming telephone wires – through journal entries that pulse with the same mystical vitality as his watercolors, offering a glimpse into the mind of an artist who saw magic thrumming beneath the surface of everyday life.
SONIC ACCOMPANIMENT
❇ Two albums dominated my listening this year: Chelsea Wolfe’s She Reaches Out To She Reaches Out To She, a darkwave journey of industrial storms and gothic shadows, and Pom Pom Squad’s Mirror Starts Moving Without Me, which transforms similar themes of identity and self-reflection into sharp-edged pop – both artists wrestling with different versions of themselves through distinctly different sonic landscapes.
❇ A trio of singles cast their spell in heavy rotation this year – Haley Heynderickx’s “Gemini,“ London Grammar’s “Into Gold,” and Suki Waterhouse’s “Supersad” – each one a different facet of metamorphosis, where past selves whisper to future ones and sorrow transmutes into strange new shapes.
And there we have it – another year’s worth of treasures, trials, and transformations catalogued for posterity. As always, these lists feel simultaneously too long and not long enough; there are surely things I’ve forgotten, discoveries that slipped through the cracks of memory, or favorites that didn’t quite make it onto the page.
I’d love to hear what caught your eye this year – what objects of beauty or utility found their way into your life? What stories kept you up at night, what songs became the soundtrack to your days? Share your own needful things in the comments below.
If you enjoy posts like these or if you have ever enjoyed or been inspired by something I have written, and you would like to support this blog, consider buying the author a coffee?
Even though I’d be the first to encourage you to practice the soft, sweet rituals that elevate the quotidian day-to-day, the little beauties and tiny marvels that make life more special, I always forget to do things that make life less of a struggle.
Mornings are coming earlier and earlier this time of year, and I am one of those people who wakes with the sun. As soon as I feel daylight on my eyelids, I am done with dreams. And that is fine, because most days, I am definitely a morning person! But there are some mornings that, despite the evil day star’s glaring insistence, I want to snuggle back under the quilts and snooze all cozy a little longer…and it never actually occurs to me that there are things that I can do to facilitate that.
sleep mask tableaux; photo by me
I’ve been loving this gorgeous sleep mask from Altar + Orbfor this very reason! It’s a silky swaddle of darkness for my eyeballs and a beautiful “oh fuck off!” to that blazingly brazen sun. And what’s more—I have been remembering to use it, reminding myself “you do not have to suffer—you can fix this!” And what an eerily charming fix it is!
I’ve adored every bit of everything I’ve gotten from this decadent shop—from their darkly whimsical blank notebooks that I use to record my weird internal conversations, to my “creatures of the night” tee, to the World’s Most Perfect goth sweatshirt. Well done, Altar and Orb! You are an enchantingly, brilliantly rich slice of darkness in a world that is often too blandly sunny and tiresomely humdrum.
If you enjoy these ramblings, or if you have ever enjoyed or been inspired by something I have written, and you would like to support this blog, consider buying the author a coffee?
Hello friends! Just a little update video from my birthday weekend to catch you up on various things and to share some favorite things! This video was pretty spontaneous and not very well edited, so please excuse that random photo of skincare stuff that pops up in the perfume segment (or screencap it if you need the details!)
Anyway, grab a cup of tea or a fancy c/m-ocktail and come along with me while I show you my messy house and some favorite things. And you should definitely leave me comments on the video because I don’t ask for much in this world, but it’s my birthday, dangit!
If you enjoy these ramblings, or if you have ever enjoyed or been inspired by something I have written, and you would like to support this blog, consider buying the author a coffee?
While I’ve certainly had some high points and some pretty interesting things happen last year, I’ve begun looking at it overall like this: did I keep my promises, honor my commitments, and do everything I said I would do in 2023?
This is a good question to ask myself because I wasn’t always very responsible or good at that. But yes, I definitely was. I kept my word, I delivered on all of my commitments, and not only was no one left hanging, and nothing was half-assed– I think I went magnificently above and beyond everything that was asked of me. I consider that a wildly successful year. Maybe that’s super cringe and corny and Pollyanna. I don’t care. It’s important to me to be someone that people can count on and trust and be glad they did. And I was, to the very best of my ability.
But I also liked a bunch of things, bought a bunch of things, made some recipes, and read some books. if you are interested in any or all of that, below is a roundup of all of my favorites from 2023. Be sure to share some of your 2023 favorites and highlights in the comments, as well!
(note: the pictures used for the collage in the featured image are not mine; they are from here, here, and here.)
Some of my favorite books this year …
✹ In Natural Beauty by Ling Ling Huang, our unnamed narrator (which becomes a more and more interesting choice the further into the story we delve into) is a former musician of formidable talent who has abandoned her passion for the piano after her beloved parents are in a terrible accident. The story opens as she is struggling in NYC, living in a cruddy basement apartment with crappy roommates, barely eking out a living, let alone earning enough money to pay for her parent’s rehab facility. She is then offered the opportunity to work at Holistik, a boutique selling wildly coveted, expensive–and perhaps experimental– products and services to beauty, age, and wellness-obsessed celebrities. The story is a beautiful meditation on grief, family, and beauty itself. And while it skewers the cult of beauty in a surreal and, I might even say satirical way –it also feels utterly, gorgeously sincere. The writing is lyrical, but it doesn’t veer purple. And the story is at turns beautiful, horribly grotesque, and very sad. If you like the imaginative strangeness of Mona Awad’s books, the crusty, bodily grossness of Otessa Moshfegh, or if you enjoyed the weirdness and WTFery of A Touch of Jen by Beth Morgan, then you may dig this one. Magical realism, alternate reality, speculative fiction? I don’t know what you call these stories, but if you gravitate toward books like this, Natural Beauty will be a favorite.
✹ Maeve Fly by CJ Leede: Oh my god. Imagine a love letter to Los Angeles, written by a savage, sociopathic Weetzie Bat; a Takashi Miike film inspired by a series of Lana del Rey songs; a main character who is a Disney Princess channeling Patrick Bateman. Imagine there is also a reference to “Werewolf Bar Mitzvah” in these pages. You guys–the perfect book really does exist.
✹ Lonely Castle in the Mirror by Mizuki Tsujimura: Middle-schooler Kokoro is shy and struggling and has not been to class in quite some time. Her classmates are bullying her, and what begins as anxiety and fear about going back to school becomes a phobia about even leaving the house at all. Her parents are frustrated and are seeking out alternative schooling options, but for the time being, they allow Kokoro to stay home while they work during the day. One afternoon, a portal appears in her bedroom mirror, and she enters to find herself in a castle …where six other kids her age have apparently found their way as well. They learn they have some interesting things in common and were summoned for a reason, but they only piece it all together over the course of getting to know each other and becoming friends. I loved this magical, heartwarming story, and guess what! It’s a movie, too!
✹ Mary: An Awakening of Terror by Nat Cassidywas a title that had been languishing in my TBR pile for a year or so. Turns out that middle-aged, menopausal Mary is probably my all-time favorite character and I am sorry I waited so long to get to it! Hot flashes are one thing, but grotesque hallucinations, losing time, and homicidal urges? Mary’s pretty sure something’s not quite right but of course, her doctor just pooh-poohs her concerns. I know I haven’t said much but don’t want to say anything else and risk having said too much! This book is gross and fun and you might think “What business does a man have writing about a middle-aged woman?” I thought that, too. Make sure you read the Afterword.
✹ Children of Paradise by Camila Grudova: I guess didn’t write a proper review for this one, but there’s not much to tell, plot-wise. A young woman begins working at a historical cinema and becomes part of the insular little group that works there. I think this weird, crusty little slice-of-life story was my very favorite of 2023. A recommendation from my best bean Sonya, who has three incredible short stories (one here, one here, and one here) published this year. Actually, forget everything I said above. Sonya’s stuff is by far and away my favorite.
Some of my favorite perfumes this year …
✹ Lvnea’s PÊCHE OBSCÈNE is a glorious fragrance, but what I mean is glorious in the way that something monstrous and magnificent stalks the dead zone of night, by stealth and in the dark. This is peach, irradiated and ashen and grown over with moss and broken bird’s nests and salted against curses, curls of ferric iron to both ward away and contain within. A peach more lore and legend than it ever had life, a peach whose shadow looms uneasily far beyond its ruined flesh. Juices corrupt with the grave dirt of vetiver and patchouli and oozing with osmanthus’ strange leathery/jammy incense, Peche Obscene is an undead lich of a peach, and it is absolutely, terrifyingly, bewitching in the way that all delicious forbidden things are.
✹ Corfu Kumquat from Aedes de Venustas: In a small Greek village built on the slopes of the island’s highest mountain is a quietly atmospheric little ghost town with only two or three permanent inhabitants. One of them is a kumquat that never fully ripened, too sour and pithy for marmalade and liqueurs, too small and strange to be of much practical use. Perhaps it was overlooked. Perhaps it forged its own little path in life. It’s now the local guide for the village, steering tourists hither and yon along cobblestone roads, sharing historical anecdotes and eerie legends, and finally depositing them at the gift shop once the excursion has concluded. As the crowd disperses, it reaches into its pocket for a cigarette and lights up in the cool shade of an ancient stone cottage, exhaling smoke through its citrus peel pores, whirling and curling in satisfying vaporous salt-air swirls, while catching glimpses of the sun glinting on the sea through the undulating mountains.
✹ Noire Encens from Mad et Len POV: you are a brooding pencil, prone to bouts of melancholia, that only scribbles at midnight and has only ever been used to draft architectural sketches of gargoyle-adorned gothic cathedrals and crumbling medieval monasteries and Baudelairian poetry and you listen to a lot of Cold Cave and Chelsea Wolfe. This one is discontinued, but you can still get samples here.
✹ Tomie from Black Phonix Alchemy Lab: Tomie crawls beneath your skin, a slithery jasmine-amber-flecked marzipan cotton candy ghost musk of a scent, but not a fresh, hot carnival cone of the stuff–rather, the soft, sticky filaments of floss caught in your uniquely self-scented hair at the end of the night. And maybe a bewitched and bothered someone is bizarrely compelled to snip a few of those sweet, tangled tendrils while you’re sleeping because they’re an absolute psychopath, and maybe when you wake up in the morning the scissors are gripped in your own hands, the sultry tresses are tucked into your own little etched sandalwood box, and maybe, perhaps, the psychopath is you. Utterly obsessed with yourself.
✹ Green Spell from Eris Parfums: This perfume is as if a celestial being of 100% chlorophyll descended from the heavens, its wings a crushing flutter of many leaves, broad and flat, delicate and curled, waxen, rubbery, pliant, radiating every variation of veridian. In a voice like seeping moss, like eroding rock, like insect wings disintegrating into the earth, it whispers to you, “Like, be not afraid, or whatever.” It’s the endless trailing succulent stem of a bittersweet pennywort patch through the soil until you reach a darkly massive gnashing malachite rootball nightmare. You awake with emerald scratchings on your palm and jade lashings of fern in your teeth.
✹ Estate Carnation from Solstice Scents: A deeply gothic glamour amber, a musky murky chypre-adjacent fragrance that smells simultaneously like the figure in the white nightdress running from the manor house with the lone candle lit in the window at midnight and the surprise succubus that this figure is secretly possessed by–it’s all the iconic tropes of Avon Satanic Romance novel, and it’s perfect.
Favorite music and movies…
✹ I listened endlessly to the harrowing dreamy southern gothic bleakness of Ethel Cain’s Preacher’s Daughter, and also a lot of the drowning disembodied coldwave of Molchat Dolma (another Sonya rec, probably from ages ago, but I am slow) and the chilly melancholic The Strings soundtrack. was finally released (the movie came out in 2020 or so!) I also listened to Chelsea Wolfe’s hauntingly atmospheric “Dusk” single approximately seventy gazillion times.
✹ I watched very few movies because of all the reading I was trying to do, but in October, I recall seeing Evil Dead Rise, which was genuinely freaky as hell. And also Images, which was definitely not new, but rather a hazy 70s-era gem–strange and surreal and utter perfection. Also, the Deadloch series on Amazon Prime, following a string of murders in a small, extremely weird Tasmanian town, described by its creators as “Broadchurch but make it funny.”
Favorite social media…
✹ Booktubers Reading Wryly and Jen Campbell where I get tons of book recommendations and wonderful reviews brimming with nuance and insight. And this Azerbaijani couple, just going about their daily business of gardening and cooking on their country life blog. There are chickens and rabbits and flowers and bumblebees and breads and meat buns, and it’s just a gloriously peaceful thing to watch. The Wolf In Lace on TikTok, whose dark fashion finds will grow your wardrobe and break your band account’s spirit. Joyceful Tingles, whose ASMR videos are a batshit delight. Two other Instagram accounts that purely just make me happy are the silly little illustrations of clunky picnic and the acerbic whimsy that is existential crisis cakes, baking the sentiments of bittersweet human experience into neon-frosted dreams.
Stuff and things:
✹ The Clio Cushion I hate to wear makeup, and it is the only foundation-type thing I will ever wear again. As a matter of fact, the only thing I order from Sephora anymore is a vitamin C serum. Tell me what you swear by, so I can quit them for good!
✹ The Huskin Bee tea, is a mix of black and puer teas with crystallized ginger and apple pieces from Old Growth Alchemy that we enjoy for our afternoon tea break.
✹ This French press looks very nice and keeps your coffee hot for a long time. This is NOT cheap, but even Yvan (who really balked at the price) admits it’s one of the best purchases we’ve ever made.
✹ This soda water and vinegar drink is SO GOOD, and it’s a cheat because I found it on December 31, 2023… but does it count if I wished I’d found it sooner?
✹ Vintage Asta cookware I was influenced by this cozy coffee account on TikTok that has a certain pan in every video, and it took me a while to find out what they were called, but I eventually found them and I cook with them literally every day now.
✹ The Luxelift pullover bra from Knix really helped with some body dysmorphia that I didn’t even know I was carrying around with me. It looks like they updated it and are calling it the Revolution bra now.
✹ Turtlenecks, I would cover every part of my body with a turtleneck onesie if I could, but the logistics for peeing in that getup are pretty dicey, and I have a tiny bladder, so it’s never gonna be a viable option. I prefer to show as little skin as possible–not for prudish reasons, but rather, I guess as I’ve gotten older, I have reached the conclusion that my body is absolutely no one’s business.
You ever hear people say things like, “Why do you wear such shapeless dresses? You should show off your figure!” Fuck that. I don’t owe my body to anybody, in figure-flattering clothes or otherwise. And fuck “flattering,” too. Life’s short. Be comfortable. I’ll wear my turtlenecked potato sacks, and you can keep your mouth shut because what I wear and how I wear it and what my body looks like under my clothes is none of your goddamn business.
As you can tell, I feel pretty strongly about this. But also, I love turtlenecks because I wear my wear up a lot and my neck gets cold. I like these thin ones from J. Crew for layering and I have a few obnoxious floral prints from brands like Scotch & Soda. They’re all sold out for now, but I just saw this one from another brand, and I think it’s calling to me…
Recipes and such…
✹ Soup for breakfast: I am a savory breakfast person through and through. Whatever you’re going to try and tempt me with–french toast, pancakes, waffles, cold cereal, yogurt and fruit, smoothies with the works–it’s all a hard pass for me. I don’t have a sweet tooth in general, but in the mornings, the thought of something sweet makes me want to barf. My perfect breakfast would be a lightly toasted (but ideally fresh and just warm, not toasted) everything bagel with scallion cream cheese, lox, capers, onions, tomatoes, all that stuff. My second favorite breakfast would be inspired by traditional Japanese breakfasts: a piece of grilled fish, a rolled omelet, a bowl of soup, some rice, and various pickles and assorted veggies.
Using the latter as a jumping point, I paired it down to just the soup portion, and over the course of the year, I have fine-tuned how I make it. Water and soup stock powder, lots of veggies, a protein, and maybe a starch. I really like zucchini, cabbage, bok choi, Japanese eggplant, and enoki mushrooms, but often, I’ll just toss in whatever I have lying around. If I have it in the fridge, fresh corn is extra lovely! For protein, I’ve added shrimp, mini scallops, tofu, or marinated pork belly, or if I have them in the freezer, these little wontons are particularly nice in the broth. Sometimes, I’ll throw in a few chewy rice cake tubules, or maybe serve a bit of rice and pickles on the side if I have extra time, but most of the time, we just slurp our soup at our desks when we start the work day.
I should note that the above is my summer recipe, but when the weather gets colder, I like my soup spicier. All the extras are the same, but I will include whatever kind of kimchi I have on hand, along with the water and hon dashi, when I get the pot of soup started.
✹ Pasta or gnocchi with a creamy gochujang sauce, you can find variations on this recipe everywhere, but I like it with spicy Italian sausage, lots of garlic and lacinato kale
✹ I’ve been making this kani salad a lot lately! One recipe calls for adding tobiko or masago as well as furikake, and it adds a good texture. I serve it over rice with pickles and soup on a summer morning. Speaking of pickles, we ate so much of this Filipino cucumber salad this year
✹ Early last fall, I made this French apple cake, and as someone who doesn’t really even like cake all that much, I’ll tell you what. This is the best cake I have ever eaten.
✹ I remembered to make cardamom buns for Christmas this year, and they turned out so beautifully. I know they are regularly thought of as a Swedish teatime treat, but I think it makes such a lovely offering for a winter holiday breakfast or brunch.
Stuff that is not things…
✹ The idea of doing the bare minimum when you don’t want to do anything at all. Sometimes, you just have one of those days where you wake up and think, “I don’t wanna!” The air feels heavy, your bones creak like haunted floorboards, and even the thought of brushing your teeth seems monumental. It’s on these days that “the bare minimum” whispers like a really benign and actually pretty wise devil on your shoulder.
Yes, it’s a phrase often frowned upon and seen as synonymous with apathy or laziness. But I think critics miss the crucial point: the minimum means putting forth the least amount of action and energy necessary to get the desired output (or something very close to it.) It’s not about doing nothing, it’s about doing just enough. Don’t want to work on your story or write that essay? Write a sentence and walk away. Don’t want to exercise? Pace around the house for 5-10 minutes. Don’t want to cook dinner? This is one that makes me feel particularly guilty, even though it’s just me and Yvan. Bagged salad mix and frozen chicken tenders, then. For housework, take care of whatever is bothering you that you can actually see. If you can’t see it, it can wait (unless it’s a gas leak or something, but obviously, you’re the best judge of what’s happening in your home.) If it’s work-work, do the things that can’t wait until tomorrow. Do just enough to keep the wheels turning, the bills paid, the body fueled. Enough to not crumble, to maintain a sliver of forward momentum.
It’s a pragmatic choice prioritizing self-preservation, and on days like these, that’s as good as it gets–and that is totally fine.
✹ Doing things for future-Sarah. This is going to sound so corny and annoying and maybe like advice that your parents would give you. But there are probably readers amongst you who are young enough to be my children, so I guess I should just lean into it. Also, this will sort of sound somewhat the opposite of what I just wrote in the above bullet about doing as little as you can get away with doing. But hear me out.
Ok, so you know those times you’re staring at a mountain of dishes in the sink after dinner in the evening? And you want to read or watch Netflix or literally anything else instead of cleaning that up? Just do the dishes. Tackle it and get it done and over with. Future-you at 6 am in the morning will thank you for it when you walk into a clean kitchen and don’t have to face a sinkful of nasty, crusty lasagna pans and salad bowls when you’d rather be getting coffee started. I don’t know of any other examples that resonate as strongly as the dishes, but whatever the thing is that’s worse to face in the morning? Look out for future-you and do that thing now. This is something I have resisted for years, and what it took was looking at future-me as a completely separate person from present-me and pondering on how I will go out of my way to make other people’s lives easier, but not my own. But if future-me is actually “other” from me, well, that’s another person, and so it’s second nature for me to want to make that other person’s life less complicated than it has to be. Which is wild because that’s a complicated way of coming to what should be a foregone conclusion.
✹ Realizing that I love reading. Not books. I mean, yes, of course– I love books! But I love what they represent, the stories and knowledge and promises they hold. The physical medium of books themselves…? Maybe not so much. I mean, I can appreciate their beauty and their solid heft in the hand, absolutely, but I do not feel the need to HAVE them. Last year, with the exception of some nonfiction, poetry, and titles that a few friends wrote, I purchased fewer books than any year in recent memory. Out of the 220 books I read, less than 20 were physical copies–most of them were digital copies from the library or digital ARCs from Netgalley. Realizing this, I am now beginning to downsize my own collection. If it is on my shelf and the possibility that it will be reread is very low (which, if I am being honest, is most, if not all, of the fiction on my shelves) then I am either going to donate it somewhere or sell it on Pango. I’ve already got a little shop set up! (Pssst…there’s a current 10% discount running!) I think I’d rather save my shelf space for reference material and art books. And knick-knacks, probably.
✹ Getting back into dream journaling For many years, I used to wake every morning and hunch over my pages, scribbling images and impressions of dreams from the night before fast-fast-fast before they’d fly out of my head. Somewhere in 2021, in the midst of house-moving chaos, I just…stopped. But I recently began immersing myself in the pages of Naomi Sangreal’s Little Hidden Doors: A Guided Journal For Deep Dreamers, and it’s really inspired me to get back into it! My dreams run from the mundane (back on the line at Checkers making hamburgers at rush hour and wondering why they haven’t paid me in 25 years) to the ridiculous (last night Matt Berry whispered the word “tumescent” in my ear) and I like to remember and linger on all of it!
…and slightly related to the above in terms of journaling: I have tons of lovely blank journals that just feel too pretty to write in, especially if I am not using them for something special and splendid and perfect. But that’s silly and I want to fill those blank pages, so one by one I have been using them as “idea journals.” Once a day, I open a page and write down an idea. It could be some passing impressions of a perfume, a particularly good line of dialogue from a movie that struck a chord with me, or menu ideas for Sunday dinner. Whatever! Could be messy or magical or mundane or massively ridiculous. No pressure or polishing. Just a few scribbles a day.
✹ Rediscovering poetry Poetry is another thing I’d kind of just given up on. I mean, on one hand, I’d never truly “give up” on poetry! Gosh! But on the other, I’ve been pretty unimpressed with the handful of collections I’d read in recent years, and was feeling ambivalent about the offerings of contemporary poets. Until I started taking notice of the poetic things and snippets of poetry that people tend to repost and reshare on social media. I don’t mean the Rupi Kaur-type stuff; that’s not really my bag, and I don’t want to be mean about it, so that’s all I will say. But more like, well, how many times have you seen Laura Gilpin’s breathtakingly heart-breaking two-headed calf poem reshared? Or quiet hitching, stifled sob of Wondrous by Sarah Freligh? Or definitely not as weepy as the other two, this one by Nanao Sakaki? I thought to myself that if I love these poems by these three particular poets so much, wouldn’t it make sense to read the collections that they came from and perhaps some of their other works? It did make sense, and it definitely rekindled my enthusiasm!
If you enjoy my reading roundups or if you have ever enjoyed or been inspired by something I have written, and you would like to support this blog, consider buying the author a coffee?
As the magic of the winter holiday season takes hold, filling the air with anticipation and wonder, it’s time to find gifts that spark joy, ignite curiosity, and open doors to new worlds. Whether you’re searching for the perfect offering for a loved one or seeking inspiration for your self-discovery, the following captivating books offer a journey beyond the ordinary.
1. Lapidarium: The Secret Lives of Stones by Hettie Judah: This mesmerizing guide invites you to explore the captivating world of gemstones, delving into their rich history, folklore, and practical uses. Referencing science, history, chemistry, physics, literature, philosophy, and pop culture, Lapidarium is an extravagantly storied chamber of stones, richly abundant with interesting facts, poignant stories, and weird anecdotes about stones. An absolute feast for the senses, this book of charmingly illustrated essays feels very much like a collector’s treasure hoarded wunderkammer of mythic and mysterious curiosities. Recommended for magpies and dragons.
2. Death’s Garden Revisited by Loren Rhodes: Embark on a poignant and thought-provoking exploration of the myriad, complex ways that people connect with cemeteries and graveyards, through this sweeping collection of personal essays accompanied by evocative, full-color photos, A gathering of tapophilic musings from all walks of life, throughout these pages, genealogists and geocachers, travelers and tour guides, academics, and amateur sleuths examine, and excavate the culture, zeitgeist, landscape, philosophy, and history of cemeteries, as well as the stories of the people, both infamous and obscure, buried there. Recommended for those with a perpetual case of the morbs.
3. Worlds Beyond Time: Sci-Fi Art of the 1970s by Adam Rowe: Step into a vibrant showcase of retrofuturistic visions with this captivating book celebrating the groundbreaking sci-fi art of the 1970s, an era brimming with dazzling dreams of fantastical futures and explorations of the vast cosmos. Stuffed to the gills with phenomenal science fiction art–from the abstract and avant-garde to the trippy and surreal, from the murky and lurid to the vivid, vibrant, and hyperrealistic, Worlds Beyond Time ignites your imagination and inspires you to dream beyond the horizon. A perfect gift for those who yearn to explore the infinite possibilities that lie beyond our reality, Worlds Beyond Time is an incredibly curated gallery-in-a-book, alongside ridiculously well-informed, engrossing essays written in Rowe’s warm, chat, irreverent voice. Recommended for your space cadet friend.
4. Little Hidden Doors: A Guided Journal for Deep Dreamers by Naomi Sangreal: Not merely a journal but a sanctuary for the dreamer’s soul, Little Hidden Doors encourages introspection and self-discovery for those who seek to unlock the secret chambers of their minds. Filled with reflective prompts, insightful passages, and imaginative pathways and portals, it’s a guide to a deeper understanding of our inner realms and the images, patterns, and connections we find there. Explore your dreams, delve into forgotten memories, and nurture your creative spirit as you embark on a transformative journey within. Recommended for your dreamiest friend.
5. Blood, Sex Magic by Bri Luna With a pen dipped in the ink of ancient wisdom and modern insight, Bri Luna honors traditions from her roots and culture and celebrates magic that is “from dirt and blood, jewels and bones, moon and sun.” Encouraging readers to embrace their shadows and embark on a journey self-discovery through the sacred and the profane, this empowering guide invites us to explore and express the beauty and magic that we all inherently possess. The incendiary aesthetics of the book are a visual feast, art and imagery are interwoven with the text, creating a tapestry of beauty that mirrors the multifaceted nature of the divine feminine. Recommended for your most badass friend.
Bonus Suggestion: Bibliomancers’ Trifecta of Enchantment
Biblomancers is a Los Angeles-based small press formed in 2023 by a occult, collage and new media artists Astroleyez and Speedgallery. Biblioancers’ curated mosaic of books invites the viewer to have their own experience within the framework of carefully selected images and texts.
SPELL BOUND : Exploring Witchcraft And The Occult Through Vintage Paperbacks
The SPECTRAL VISION of GOTHIC ROMANCE : Paperback Dreams and Nightmares
MASK GARDEN: Revealing the ecstatic horror of hidden identity through the paperback cover persona.
Bonus Suggestion No. 2 : Mystical literary treasures, myriad esoteric pamphlets, zines, anthologies and ephemera from either Peculiar Parishor Fiddler’s Green. These arcane emporiums offer an array of bewitching books that beckon to each reader’s individual desire to explore art and magic together through stories, illustration, and other creative forms.
This Hexmas, let your gifts be a celebration of weird beauty and strange moods– whether it’s in the brushstrokes of a surreal, space-age painting, a journal of nocturnal travels, or the sage words of an empowering guide. May your loved ones find inspiration and enchantment in these curated reads, each a portal to a world where dreams, art, and magic intertwine.
Ah, December. When I start tallying up all the things I’ve been eyeing for myself, but which I know that no one will ever gift to me in a million years…so I just treat myself in a frenzy of long-held materialistic desires granted. Yes, this wishlist is an inventory of things *I* want, not suggestions of things for you to buy other people. That’s how we do things around here!
But if you and I happen to have similar tastes…well, there’s certainly nothing stopping you from considering these items as recommendations from one dark-hearted weirdo to another!
It’s interesting to look back at these wishlists from previous years to see how my preferences and inclinations have changed or evolved–and in some ways, they have!–but in others, they’re still very much the same. Here are some Hexmas yearnings from years past, if you are curious: 2021 // 2020 // 2019 // 2017 // 2016 // 2015 // 2014.
2023’s agenda may be a bit more…playful (?) than in recent years, I mean that coloring book looks like wonderful silly fun, and how goofy-good are those plaid pants?! But yeah, there’s still a lot of black and darkness! And also some ridiculously expensive flatware; there’s a Korean YouTuber I watch who has this set and I am convinced that if I could just eat my soup from these spoons, then life would be a *little* closer to perfect.
1. A gorgeous treat from the exquisitely curated selection of antiques at Roses and Rue
3. I saw a link to this beautiful blank journal from Altar & Orbon a post that showed up on my Facebook feed…but I follow neither the original poster nor the commenter, so I still don’t know how I even saw it! And I also don’t need another blank book! BUT ALSO YES I DO.
4. Why do I feel like these Free Label pants are maybe clown pants? And why do I love them so freaking much?
5. Will this spoon make my soup taste better? I am a thousand percent certain that it will. I think this flatware set is all that is standing between me and a top chef nomination.
7. Speaking of perfume! I lost my mind at the sight of beautiful bottles from Coreterno when a friend shared a link to the brand with me on Instagram. Plus, the names of these perfumes! I mean…‘Freakincense’?! Listing my favorite fragrance note of demented glee, pink pepper! Come on!
8. I’ve loved Sofia Zakia’s creations ever since I started following her jewelry journey (before that, she did some really cool photography, an enormous print of which hangs in our guest bedroom) but so much of it is just utterly outside the realm of my budget. These super sweet little bunny in the moon earrings…I think I could make that happen. Or SOMEONE could make it happen for me. HINT HINT.
At the start of September I was pretty bummed because Florida Septembers are not super magical. I don’t know what it’s like where you’re at, but in Florida, autumn really seems to dither and dilly-dally and lollygag and all those funny old-fashioned words that mean something’s taking too effing long!
So I just did all the autumn things I love anyhow, to make myself feel better and perhaps summon some autumn feels while I was at it… and I thought it might be fun to film them along the way for a MONTAGE. Who doesn’t love a montage? So yeah, here’s 3 weeks of homebody autumnal stuff distilled into about 5 minutes worth of video.
My videos aren’t like the top quality or whatever, but I have fun making them, so I hope you will give it a watch! And as per usual, everything mentioned in the video can be found below.
Hello friends. I did a little binge and bought some things off of my Amazon wishlist. This was inspired, in part, by my blog from a week or so ago about my ten most frequently purchased items from Amazon.
Anyway, I know I am over-reliant on Amazon for my purchases, so this was a bit of a last hurrah!
If you are not a video-watching type, no worries; you don’t have to watch it! But maybe go over there and leave a like and comment, even if you don’t watch the whole thing or any of it at all! These videos are a lot of work!
Anyhow, below is a listing of the items and various things and people mentioned found in this video, Amazon or otherwise:
I used to share my Needful Things on a quarterly basis, but I don’t think I’ve shared any at all this year! If you are a subscriber to my newsletter, you may have seen mention of a few of these things that I’m into or recommending or am finding “needful” over the past few months, but there are a few new things in the mix, too–and at any rate, it’s useful and helpful to have all the good stuff and best-ofs all in one place, so here we are.
This screen-capped image above is from the NYT; a friend shared it on Facebook. I was already working on my needful list at the time, and I thought, “hey! that’s kinda-sorta-exactly what I am doing!”
What follows is a bit of a jumble, with no rhyme or reason or overarching theme that ties these things together; some are more recent loves, and others have either proved quite useful or just provided sparks of contentment, bliss, and joy all year long. Some of them are tangible stuff and things and items, and some of them are sentiments or services. Some you can eat, wear, smell, or read. Others are just ideas or suggestions to mull over or principles to guide you. I’m hesitant to phrase that last one in such a way–I’m not the boss of you, and I’m not trying to “guide” anyone anywhere. All I mean to say is that they are things that have provided guidance to me. YMMV!
Uka base coat is a nail polish/treatment I saw worn by a Japanese YouTuber and grew instantly obsessed with. This is 3/0, which is noted on the site as a grayish purple, and sometimes it does appear that way, but more frequently, it’s just the perfect greige. The brand describes the product thusly: “The colored bases of uka contain a tinted serum which takes care of your nails and embellishes your hands.” They’re a bit hard to find in the US, but I found a bottle at YESSTYLE.
Elemis Soothing Apricot Toner I prefer spray toners to the ones you pat onto your face with your fingers (though I do use both) this Elemis one is so nice. What’s it do? I have no idea. I just like the way it feels and smells.
This scalp scrubber thinger is something I have been using for a few years now. My head gets SO ITCHY, and I love to just go to town with it while shampooing my hair. I am not sure where I found the one I am currently using, so I just linked to the Sephora brand, but I imagine any silicone version will do the same thing.
The Laura Mercier caviar stick eyeshadow in Plum. I don’t wear much makeup anymore; just some CC cream, some mascara, and this shadow stick that I use a bit like eyeliner, smeared and blurred just above my lashes. I just saw this eyeliner hack on TikTok and it looks like the easiest thing ever and can’t wait to give it a try. Probably doesn’t work for hooded eyes, but we’ll see!
This Warwick Castle tee shirt. I’ve never been to Warwick Castle, but I saw Courtney Cox play a possessed writer on Shining Vale, and I thought, aha! That’s the look I am going for! 2nd place tee goes to my gorgeous Frankenhooker tee shirt! And I am fairly certain I have mentioned this Beauty is Terror sweatshirt inspired by The Secret History, but I don’t recall where I mentioned it, so that mention may as well not count. Here is a photo of me wearing it sometime last spring, pre-wedding, pre-move, pre-blue hair. Wow. A lot has happened this year!
Alice Crewneck Ribbed Pullover Sweater this is a sweater from Amazon’s The Drop, which I believe is an in-house clothing line that features limited edition capsule collections in collaboration with influencers, but they also have a Staples line which are wardrobe basics available all the time, or at least on a less limited basis. This sweater is from their Staples line, and it is quite possibly the coziest sweater I have ever owned. I got the “porpoise” color, which is sort of an oatmeal grey. The way they pair it with knitted shorts looks to me as if it is meant to be some sort of pajama set, but I think this is too nice to sleep in.
And two other sweaters from Amazon that I actually love even more than the Alice is this olive jacquard crew neck and this navy heather balloon sleeved number. I don’t buy a lot of clothing from Amazon, but I don’t want to spend a lot of money on items that I can only wear for a few weeks out of the year, so it just makes sense for my wallet.
Have I spoken before of my love of Le Bon Shoppe’s socks? (Yes, I checked my archives, and I have, but that was actually a rhetorical question and I don’t care.) Their Girlfriend socks are the coziest socks I have ever worn; they feel cloudlike and squishy on my feet without really looking cloudlike and squishy. When I first saw them, I’ll admit…I thought they were sort of ugly. But once you wear them, you won’t really care, I promise. Their Cottage socks are much cuter.
Embracing color. Oh, you guys. You have seen me through a lot of transitions (some of you who have known me since LJ days saw my twee Anthropologie phase, hee hee!) I’ve come out of my all-black-everything chapter in the last few years, and now I am wearing colors again. It started with all the colors of my favorite 70’s Tupperware sets (which I also tend to think of in terms of the four humours), but in 2022 I rediscovered my childhood love of all things purple. And I am not content to just wear it in the form of clothing! Although I did just splurge on a gorgeous pale lavender winter coat! I also painted a gallery wall in my office a stunning shade of VELVET EVENING, and I even have some purple in my hair now!
When it comes to accessorizing with more color, I got a lot of mileage out of my jewelry from Alexis Berger, whose lovely, luminous pieces are like cosmic winks from the universe. You can read my interview with Alexis here!
Another splurge was this outrageously fluffy Too Collective Robe. I will admit it. I am stupidly influenced sometimes. This time it was via a TikTok influencer who is so obnoxious that I’m ashamed to tell you who it is, but I saw her wearing this robe while she was twerking and eating taco bell, and instead of thinking, wow, this person is an idiot, I thought holy crap, I need that robe. Most of the time in Florida, when you get out of the shower, you’re immediately sweaty again, so I typically prefer a very lightweight, highly absorbent waffle weave robe.
But it has been very cold in the mornings this past December, and I wanted something warmer and cozier, and sometimes I just throw it on over my pajamas as a housecoat in the morning. It’s glorious. I will also confess that I saw her wear this lululemon sweater, and I had to have that thing, too. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME.
I’ve long been obsessed with the memory of a certain fried tofu and broccoli in a spicy garlic sauce dish that I used to order from a Chinese take-out place near my work when I lived in NJ. We’ve been eating various incarnations of it 2-3 times a week since the beginning of the past year as I’m trying to recreate the perfect version of it that lives in my head. This spicy “honey” garlic tofu from Rabbit and Wolves isn’t quite the same thing…but it might be even better? And if the tofu looks kinda weird, that’s because it’s not tofu! It’s soy curls. Also, the recipe calls for agave nectar because it’s vegan, but I use actual honey because I am not. Sometimes I use brown sugar instead. They both do the job!
Japanese sweet potatoes, omg. I thought I hated sweet potatoes. But it turns out that I hate the carrotyness of the orange sweet potatoes I am used to eating. Japanese sweet potatoes are fluffier, and some folks think that even just plain roasted, they taste like cake. I am not a huge fan of cake myself, and I think the sweetness of these tubers tends to be subtler than that, but anyway you slice it (or spoon or fork it), I love these things so much.
Cheese on toast. Not a cheese toastie or grilled cheese. But rather: hot, buttered slices of toasted bread with thinly shaved bits of cheddar scattered across the surface to slightly melt into and meld with the butter and become a savory breakfast nibble. I thought this was a little weird at first, honestly. Yvan’s family does this (they’re Icelandic), and I thought, huh, maybe it’s a European thing. But now I am addicted, and it’s the only way I want to eat toast anymore. It’s helpful if you have one of these thingsto get the cheese slices pretty thin.
Slop storage: These “Souper Cubes silicone trays with lids” are pretty fantastic for portioning out your slops to freeze for when future-you doesn’t want to cook that night. One weekend every few weeks or so, I’ll pick two slops from the list above, cook up two bubbling pots of each, and then portion it out for dinners to squirrel away for when I need them. It’s a very good system for nights when my brain is fried, and I don’t want to do a single ounce more of work, I want something low-effort, but I don’t want to order out, and I don’t want a bowl of Golden Grahams because I need to pretend like I am an adult or something. I want a home-cooked meal, and I don’t want to make it! I feel like that a lot.
Know what’s better than spending your money on a bunch of crap and nonsense? Commissioning the services of friends. This year I compensated friends to:
–do a wise and insightful tarot reading for me
–edit a book draft for sensitivity issues
–create a Patreon banner for me
–embark on various artistic collaborations
–maintain my website
–assist me in creating a media kit and related marketing things
If you count yourself lucky enough to have creative friends who offer their energies and efforts to the world, it’s a beautifully satisfying practice to avail yourself of their goods and services.
But speaking of buying crap and nonsense. This is a really ridiculous thing, but I need to do what I can to make cleaning and tidying fun for me. I shouldn’t have to trick myself into having a home that is not filthy, but whatever works, I guess. I got a little roll-y cart to put all my cleaning junk in and roll it around the house with me. I think it reminds me of the media carts that they used to have in the school libraries. I think I just like pushing little carts around.
And this is also a kind of ridiculous thing, but it’s pretty, and it’s serving a useful function, and I love it. We have a weird window in our bathroom that overlooks our neighbor’s house. There’s a hedge between our homes, and I am *fairly* certain that no one can see in our window when I’m peeing, but I can’t be 100%. I didn’t want curtains or blinds in there, so I found this really lovely rainbow crystal window cling film decal, and when the light filters through it at 4:30 in the afternoon, it throws out a beautiful kaleidoscope on the walls. It literally brightens my everyday. And the people in the next house over won’t be able to see me on the potty. Win-win, very good use of $10. You can sort of see it in this video (which is a sneak peek of something I am mentioning below.)
I have been Duolingoing since January 1, 2022. I’m refreshing my French and learning Japanese, and while I am nowhere near fluent in either, it’s nice to learn something every day. I was fast-tracked into French a year early, so I have five years of French from junior high and high school, and I still am smarting about one aspect of that. Two students in the whole seventh grade were chosen to be plopped into a French class with the ninth-graders, and I was one of them. The other, a friend of mine, shared that a mutual friend had said, “I don’t understand why they picked Sarah, she’s such an AIRHEAD.” Fuck off, Erin G. I’m still mad at you, you backstabbing butthole. Anyway, I wasn’t an airhead–I was a DREAMER. Anyway, still mad about that over 30 years later. And at this point, the most I can say in Japanese is “a tasty apple,” but that’s okay. Progress, not perfection.
This was not the year for new music, but this was the year for taking a break from the need for constantly amassing new things to listen to. I miss the me who was constantly on the hunt for and discovering new music, but I don’t miss the circumstances I was living in at the time.
If you are someone who naturally gravitates toward seeking out and sharing the best of the NEW! and EXCITING! It’s exhausting always to have your eyeballs and earholes trained to pick up on marvels and constantly churn out your findings, and then…maybe never even listen or look at that stuff again. This was a sort of chat that I was having with a friend over on Instagram, and I think we both agree that appreciating instead of curating is a struggle when that’s how you’re brain is wired, but man, it is worth it to slow down and immerse yourself–just utterly marinate in– those wonderful things you’ve been collecting. Whether it’s music or art, books or movies, whatever. And winter is such a good time for the slowing down and taking in of things, right? Thanks, Heather, for reminding me of this.
Anyway, this year has been a lot of Dead Can Dance and Heilung and Lana del Rey, and you know what? I’m good with that.
My two favorite books this year were both squarely in the feminist horror genre, with elements of comedy and trauma, and though they come with various trigger/content warnings, I highly suggest them both: MOTHERTHING by Ainslie Hogarth and Such Sharp Teeth by Rachel Harrison. The woodsy mushroom desk mat that MOTHERTHING is resting on was actually one of my year-end favorites from last year, and I highly recommend that, too!
Other things that are on my desk: this strawberry frog glass and this little mushroom lamp. Do I even need to rationalize or justify these adorable things? No, I do not.
Netgalley. I got MOTHERTHING through Netgalley! I always wondered how all these reviewers get their ARCs, and I thought eventually, if you just reviewed enough books and had a lot of readers/viewers/fans and maybe got on lots of author’s or agent’s or publisher’s radars, they just…sent you stuff? And maybe that is true, but there are also websites where you can create an account for free to request and read books before they are published and provide reviews and feedback to publishers.
I’ve gotten to read over twenty books through Netgalley over this past year, and most of them haven’t been officially released yet! There is a downside, though. You, as a reviewer, have a rating based on your requested/received/review ratios, so there is a bit of pressure to get the books read and submit reviews for them. The better your rating is, the more likely it is that you will get the books you want. If you are an anxious person, this is probably going to make you anxious. If you tend to resent obligations (even if it’s something that no one twisted your arm to commit to), you may get resentful of the seeming pressure to write these reviews. There is no actual pressure, no one is breathing down your neck. But anyone who is conscientious and hard on themselves about self-imposed deadlines will get where I am coming from, I think.
This is not a new thing, but I don’t think I’d ever heard it put into words before muchelle b. mentioned it in a video. If only I could remember which video it was! But I can’t remember, so I will just link you to her YouTube channel.
In one of her conversations detailing ideas on how to get yourself motivated/inspired/back on track/out of a rut, she references those days when we really might be struggling for whatever reason. We’re resistant to doing anything, even though we know we’re going to feel awful about ourselves if we don’t. And yes, of course, if you have those days, you are perfectly allowed to go with it and just not do a damn thing. You know yourself best, and if that’s what your body needs, go with it.
But I know myself, and I know that it will send me into a spiral if I indulge in the do-nothing days. muchelle suggests “doing the bare minimum.” Don’t want to exercise? What’s the bare minimum you can get away with? For me, that looks like a 15-20 minute walk. Don’t want to (insert your deadline thing here)? Just do it for 15 minutes. Writing your book, studying, responding to emails, making those appointments, whatever. Don’t want to fix yourself a decently nutritious meal? I slice up an apple and eat at least half of it. These are the bare minimum things that I ask of myself on the days my brain feels like everything seems too much. I can say that whatever else did or did not happen today, I moved a bit, I ate a piece of fruit, and I wrote a stupid paragraph or two.
That’s actually what me typing this out right now is. I am tired and cold, and I just want to eat Chex Mix and read the Jacob Clifton Pretty Little Liars recaps (IYKYK) I just bought, but I know I want to post Needful things up later this week, and now I can say I worked on at least one little segment of it today.
I have paid a lot of money over the past decade (probably too much) to have pieces of art professionally framed. Now we have moved and have not yet found a local framer, but I did find this shop on Amazon that sells these ridiculously pretty frames. In the above photo they are framing some stunning floral prints from midnight floriographer, Alyssa Thorne. Along those lines, I also found this antique-looking mirroron Amazon (see a peek at it in the image below) which is not at all antique, but it is also very pretty.
In terms of actual antique items, my go-to is Kate at Roses & Rue Antiques–which is where the Art Nouveau brush and mirror set came from, as well as the Victorian black lacquer & mother of pearl vanity tray came from. It’s actually a pen rest, but thanks to the creative marketing she does in her Instagram stories, I was immediately smitten with her repurposing of it! Also pictured in this tableaux are some gorgeous silver pieces from Under the Pyramids and my beloved Snake Oil hair gloss from Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab–these are both things that I wear on a daily basis!
Speaking of smells I reach for on a regular basis, lighting a stick of the gorgeously sweet resins of Hexennacht’s Sanctum incense has become an indispensable daily ritual.
My two favorite perfume discoveries this year are dreadfully unfair to mention, as they have since sold out, but I am going to share the review here again JUST IN CASE you can grab a bottle second-hand somewhere, or who knows, perhaps they may again be restocked!
I cannot possibly sing the praises of Zara’s Bohemian Oudhighly enough. I don’t think ten choirs of angels could do it. But let’s just say you took a pillowy bit of the marshmallow fluff those angels were floating around on and stirred it into the lightest, fluffiest chocolate mousse you can imagine, served it in a hand-carved bowl made from some sort of resinous holy wood, and topped it with the incendiary floral of a dusting of gently toasted black pepper, then you might have an inkling of what we’re all singing about. Bohemian Oud is a splendid delight made that much more fantastic because at less than $30.
Malìa from Nobile 1942 is a twisted and tragic sorcery of sour citrus and bitter woody green herbs, lush, velvet, exquisitely corrupt florals, and a bright, rosy, psychedelic pink peppercorn that borders on utterly unhinged. This is a perfume that feels like a subversive folktale told in shrieking ballads via an experimental rock opera.
Because I cannot possibly end on things that you can’t have, here is an available and very cheap new love that I found this year: Kumba Made’s Persian Garden fragrance oil. This is a really gentle, intimate scent, and when I say intimate I just mean it feels like a little secret, just between you and yourself and the soft skin on the inside of your wrist, and it’s no one else’s business. Imagine a vial of Egyptian Musk diluted in a bottle of Johnson & Johnson’s baby shampoo. That’s it. That’s the scent. It is perfectly lovely, and I cannot get enough of it.
…but here is also something that is available AND expensive but also very good. If you love the offertory pencil shavings of CdG Avignon (and I do) Reve d’Ossian from Oriza Legrand is that but on steroids and maybe also hallucinogens. You know, the drugs that monks and nuns and holy prophets and saints take to get swole and bench press dusty wooden pews and write trippy ecclesiastical poetry on brittle parchment scrolls? Sure, why not. Hey, look, it’s gothic sex nerds Lord Byron and Percy Shelley! Where’d they come from, smelling of nightmares and bad reputations, all gloomy and grandiose like moody vanilla and smoky leather and rich, sticky resins and horny graveyard strolls at midnight? If Ken Russell made a fever dream of a film about the famous time-traveling debaucheries of Hildegard von Bingen and her companion, Frankenstein’s monster, I think it would result in this glorious perfume. Let’s party.
What are your favorites this year? Big or little, silly or profound, spill all your secrets! This is the least gatekeepy space you could ever hope to find, so I hope you will feel compelled to join in and share all of the things that made your life better this year!
One thing I will never tire of is hearing about people’s favorite things! Hopefully, if you are reading this, you feel the same.
Below are a few things that I have either been enjoying lately or relying on throughout the year. It was a weird year, and I have a feeling that things are only going to get weirder. I’m not sure if I want to say “get weirder before they even out” because most of the time I don’t think that’s possible anymore.
But it was a weird year in good ways, too. I wrote my second book (just working on image permissions at this point!) and I just signed a contract for my third. I was interviewed on four podcasts despite swearing up and down that I was never ever going to be on a podcast! I started a little TikTok account after proclamations that I hated TikTok and that I WOULD NEVER! Chances are, if I say I’m never going to do something, the universe will present me with a reason or an opportunity to do that very thing within the next 24 hours. I never learn my lesson! (According to this logic, all lessons be learned by tomorrow??)
Anyway, 2021 was a mixed bag. I’m still here. I’m glad that you are too. In honor of mixed bags, here’s some stuff. Just a total jumble of things, no theme tying anything together, and everything mixed up in no particular order!
Celestial Seasonings Fast Lane Tea. I haven’t drunk Celestial Seasonings teas since I was a kid. Nothing wrong with them, I guess I was just seduced by the variety of options available nowadays and never bothered to revisit them. But I had several boxes of their Fast Lane tea – a lightly spiced black tea- thrust upon me, and it’s actually very good. I think there may be an extra kick of caffeine in it, and the spices are very subtle, more of a fragrance than a taste, and it’s a really lovely treat in the afternoon with the Silk “oatmeal cookie” Oat Creamer. We’ve taken to having a mid-afternoon tea break and treat around 2-3 pm most days and this is really perfect for that. Serve with a cardamom bun or a slice of lavender tea bread!
Lavido Hand Lotion I already love the thick, nourishing version for feet, and this mildly musky coconut-scented hand cream is perfect to keep at my desk.
Jadeywadey180 I love watching videos where people are pampered. Massages, scalp scratches, even chiropractic videos! And of course, facials and skincare treatments. On Jadeywadey180’s channel, she once mentioned that you really need to massage your cleanser into your skin for at least 30 seconds for it to even begin to be effective. Now I don’t know if that’s true and I am not here to debate anyone, but I did start doing that and it feels amazing, so I think that’s reason enough to continue.
Christophe Robin Regenerative Hair Mask I love this luxuriously goopy stuff. It makes my hair super soft and it smells like a silent film star’s vanity table.
Molton Brown Geranium Nefertum shower gel is not exactly similar to my stupid expensive favorite Oud Wood shower gel from Tom Ford but they’re on similar wavelengths. A sort of rich, woody scent, balanced with moss and fig, perked up with pepper. It’s a dashing ghostly scoundrel of ascent and at $32 it’s still not cheap for a bottle of squirty shower shit, but it’s also not Oud Wood’s $75 price tag.
Some pieces from Universal Standard: these Universal Standard Stephanie wide leg striped pants which are sort of replacing my linen Swayers from STATE the Label because they are falling apart and for some reason, STATE refuses to make more of these plain black pants. Come on, guys! Pretty please!? Also, these bike shorts, which honestly are sort of amazing. From the fit to the feel to the side pocket for my phone, they are excellent. I also picked up this waffle-knit lounge set in a dusty rose-lavender-oatmeal color, and it’s comfy and cozy as heck and I strangely love this light neutral color and am looking for reasons to incorporate more of it into my wardrobe.
Here’s that color again, sort of! I was gifted an older Apple Watch from my BGF after they upgraded to a newer version, and I surprisingly loved it. It was a nice opportunity to try it out before making that sort of investment, and I probably would have just continued using it, but it wasn’t really charging very well, and it wasn’t super responsive after awhile. I purchased a new one and I was going to get a lavender band to accompany it, but somehow I ended up actually liking the band that was included with it. Sarah of 2017 would be aghast. *waves to old-Sarah from across time*
Le Bon socks I first saw these last year in Rachel Symes New Yorker gift guide in 2020 and I pooh-poohed them because I am obsessed with cute socks, and these are … not that cute. But my kawaii animal and anime character socks are often cheaply made and then and fall apart and I’ve been rethinking about what it is exactly that I expect from my cozy foot tubules. The socks from Le Bon are a bit utilitarian-looking in muted colors, no bright novelty prints here. But they do offer an extremely soothing sole swaddle, so I’m sold.
When I walk for exercise my toes flail and flounder aggressively, which results in holes being poked in the top of my shoes. Someone suggested to me that I need sneakers with a wider toe box, and after doing a little research (you know, reading like 2.5 reviews) I decided upon the Topo Athletic Zero Drop Magnifly 3…which I think is actually a running shoe, but that’s fine. Or at least it seems to be fine. I don’t know, I am not a shoe or foot or much-of-anything expert! They’re really comfortable and they’ve held up quite well. I purchased these in June and nary a toe hole in sight! With the previous pair, I’d managed to breach the top of the shoe in less than three months, so this is good news.
This adorable little glass cup is just the sweetest thing and makes me unreasonably happy. I had a tiny matcha latte in it one day and a little whiskey soda the next evening. Wheee!
Then there is this neutral color open-front cardigan from Cotton Emporium that’s getting pretty ratty because I wear it nearly every day. With dresses, with jeans and old metal or horror tees, with my pajamas when I wake up on a chilly morning–I wear it with everything. Does it go with everything? Well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves, no one said that. I originally got this one from Stitchfix but I am fairly certain it is no longer available. This is the exact one that someone was selling over on tradesy a while ago. It’s really nothing special, just perfectly worn-in, and somehow both lightweight and cozy. Another piece that has been getting a lot of mileage these past few months is this mustard-colored tunic dress from Toast.
Recipe inspiration from two unlikely places: Nami’s YouTube channel & The Salad Lab on TikTok. Nami is a single woman living in Japan and her 20-30 minute videos often follow her over the course of a weekend while she documents the meals she prepares, tidying her home, small crafts, and occasional peeks at her neighborhood grocery shopping trips or visits to cafes to meet up with local friends. I usually watch this while I am knitting a simple project (it’s subtitled, so I partially need to pay attention!) and I love to see her go about her quiet, creative days. I especially enjoy Nami’s imaginative approach in the kitchen, where she often cooks simple meals using unexpected combinations of ingredients. In The Salad Lab, saladologist (I made that word up) Darlene “creates fabulous salads every day” and it’s exactly what it sounds like. A brief minute or two long video of some disembodied hands making a variety of salads. I love salads! So I get a lot of ideas here, too.
Also, I learned that you can shred chicken in your kitchen aid in less than 30 seconds with the paddle attachment. Now granted, I didn’t spend a lot of time shredding chicken with just two forks and elbow grease–that’s too much work!– but now that I know that I don’t have to do it that way…!
Sopor from Twilight Alchemy Lab is a pillowy sleep blend with notes of lavender, vanilla, chamomile, and blue tansy and its gentle, aromatic lullaby has earned a position of prominence on my nighttime dream shelf.
Ok. So. While these two fragrances I’ve chosen to share here are not exactly my *favorite* scents this year, they are the scents that surprised me the most with how much I’ve enjoyed them. Also, I realize that I often write about perfumes that are not easily accessible; they’ve either been discontinued, or they’re prohibitively expensive, or hard to get one’s hands on, for whatever reason. I thought instead I might mention two fragrances that are fairly easy to find and accessible– in terms of purchasing a bottle, and also that neither of them are really challenging scents. I’ve already written reviews for both Hanae Mori and Glossier’s You, but I will share them both below again, in case you missed them!
I first learned of Hanae Mori on a blog that I was pretty obsessed with, back in the early 2000s. This person wasn’t a perfume enthusiast or fashionista, or even a popular blogger as far as I could tell…she seemed to be a gentle quiet weirdo, like me. She had a goth Betty Page bob and she did something in tech and updated sporadically about her little Seattle apartment. I thought she was the coolest. When I began to really delve into fragrances a few years later, I recall her mentioning this one in passing, and so sought out a sample. I was disappointed at how ordinary it seemed. Twenty years later I quite disagree with past me! Hanae Mori is a perfectly lovely woody vanilla and creamy, milky musk with hints of dusty dried grass and the airy green tang of blackberry leaves. A lot of reviewers mention fruit, but I don’t get any of that at all. If you enjoy the sweet comfort and nostalgic 90’s whispers of Vanilla Fields or the bitter Miss Havisham melancholia of Fleur Cachee, I’d say this scent falls squarely in the middle and I am surprisingly obsessed with it.
Glossier’s You is a scent I really had no intention of ever buying, but then my curiosity got the best of me. A minor point: I hate this bottle, it’s dreadful. It looks like a small pink blandly Cronenbergian lump of quivering flesh. I can, however, get over that, because as it turns out and much to my surprise…I actually really love what’s inside the horrid skin sack of a bottle. It’s possible that I had very low expectations because I don’t like any of Glossier’s other products and also because I am maybe a snob. But I really don’t mind being wrong! Okay, I am a Taurus and I hate being wrong! But I make an exception for perfume. You is a wonderful melding of this chilly, ghostly delicate iris musk and a warm, woody, sturdy peachy amber quietly enveloped in a crystalline psychic glow of pink pepper and you kind of wonder how these notes got together but then you think of Sailor Neptune and Sailor Uranus and it all just makes perfect sense. Yes, this is a queer classic anime power couple of a scent and I absolutely adore it.
Books. Always. Words have always been my dearest, staunchest companions, and this year I read a lot of good ones! I challenged myself to read 50 books this year, which I realize is not a lot for people who tend to read a lot, but I surpassed my goal at a current number of 55 and if I can finish Stephen Graham Jones’ My Heart Is A Chainsaw by the end of the day, it will be 56! (I probably won’t.) My two favorite from this year are books that I inadvertently read back to back and which have some similar themes in common: death, loss, grief, and food: Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner and The Astonishing Color of Afterby Emily X.R. Pan.
Music: I’ve been remiss in recent years in keeping my ear to the ground for new and incredible music, but I will say I’ve been immensely enjoying Japanese Breakfast, both their newest release, Jubilee and basically everything else, too. And lots of Matt Berry, of course.
Watching: Both the ridiculousness and stunning costumery of The Great and the dreamy absurdity and upsetting realism of Atlanta. We also just binged S2 of The Witcher, which, although I enjoyed it, it kinda seemed like we were playing the video game this season. Do I need to read the books? Hm.
At just 12 hours until 2022, I am attempting to watch a handful of horror/esque/ish/adjacent movies I meant to watch before the end of the year. I have seen In the Earth, Possessor, and Censor(my favorite so far) and I am going to try and fit in Last Night in Soho and Titane before the night is over. Wish me luck!
I have glamorous aspirations, but in reality, I am pretty much the opposite of glamour. Despite all the makeup I have lying around, I barely wear any of it, unless I am going to make a little video for YouTube (which …isn’t that often), or else I have to leave the house for a special occasion. Which is also not often, or ever really, nowadays. On a daily basis, the only thing I do after morning skincare stuff is sunscreen and the most minimal of eyebrow stuff. I basically just want to make sure they are all going in the same direction, to be honest with you. I’ve been using this brow butter and styling gel from Saie, and it’s ok. It does the job. I think I just really like the packaging.
I do try to sneak a little glamour in with some daily jewels and the magics of the Face of the Oracle pendant from Atelier Narcé have been clasped around my neck more often than not throughout the week.
Paintbox Soapworks is a perpetual favorite in our household. Here are some of their wintry offerings that we are currently enjoying…
Honorable mentions include: my library card, which has really gotten a workout this year in accessing their digital collections // Stasher silicone bags which have been great to help with cutting down on plastic baggie usage (and another shoutout to Swedish dishcloths as a paper towel alternative!) // all of the friends, family, and acquaintances who have checked in on me during what I feel have been several near meltdowns over the past few months // finally accepting the idea that at 45 years old I don’t have to suffer unnecessarily, and maybe medication for depression and anxiety is an option worth exploring…I have been on it for 4 days now, go me! Better living through chemistry! // art and poetry, always // Shang Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings which was a perfect superhero movie // on a related note, I am happy to see that Michelle Yeoh is just about everywhere I look nowadays, and I don’t think I have ever been as excited to see a movie as I am Everything Everywhere All At Once
